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And the happy music isn't ending! Could this mean? A victory montage! Miss Germany the bartender is ready to do a bunch of stuff with fire, and it seems really unfair that she could have the name she does without winning it in some sort of swimsuit competition. Miss Germany gets three yeses and she's moving on, and she's followed by Janice, who has an "arial silk and violin vocal" act. She flips upside down on her silk things and plays the violin really impressively, and after descending she's moving on also. The Scott Brothers are next, and what the hell, this is a success montage, we'll even take their weird "cartoon popping act." It's basically them moving at the same time, but it's going through.

Back from the break and still in LA, which is definitely a show record. Some dance crew gets like no screen time and is moving on. Up after that, and the first extended video package in awhile, is Robert. Robert's talent appears to be wearing a stupid-looking ski cap thingy on his head, and he says he's going to do some "unusual" dancing. Oh, boy, this is going to be interesting. He says he discovered his talent last year while "listening to music on the television," which should be grounds for immediate disqualification already. He's out on the stage and he tells us he wants to be called "Monsieur Pedicure" and that his talent is toe dancing. He spends forever trying to dress and place his toe in this weird little disco box, and I still can't believe I just typed that sentence. The judges are impatient that this man really is wasting all their time and the audience is impatient that no one can really see his toe in a box all that well, and when he finally starts he's not really doing anything other than wiggling it back and forth. Three Xs for RObert and David call him ridiculous for wasting everyone's time, the judges vote and it's no Vegas for toe-boy.

So now we have married couple Mario and Jenna. Mario says he loves the intensity and danger behind his act with his wife, and whenever they introduce these couples without telling us what the talent is my mind invariably wanders to dirty things. Jenna says that Mario could easily die from their talent, which only increases the fun in my head. They finally come out dressed as scary circus master and bikini slave girl, ready for a combination of "sexy and dangerous," as Mario puts it. They awkwardly dance around for awhile (and if that's sexy and dangerous I'm living a better life than I thought) before Mario pulls out a CHAINSAW. But he's just sawing boards in half. Uh, I guess that's dangerous. He isn't wearing safety goggles! He probably doesn't have the proper construction permits! But then he starts three at once and my excitement once again builds...and yes! He's juggling the chainsaws! It's exciting, but I don't know if it was worth sitting through the cringe-inducing dancing for.

David says he liked the act, Piers says something uncomfortable about what they do at night (Mario and Jenna, not Piers and David), and Sharon likes their power. I don't know what they were watching, but I thought that they were horrible until the end, and even then only kind of impressive. But I recap and the judges vote, and Mario and Jenna are moving on. One last break, then our coveted Last Act!

Replay of talentless Terri the nurse and equally talantless Mario and Jenna. Last up today is Lawrence from Mississippi. Lawrence talks a lot about the influence of the South on his music, and even dashes in some talk about church and religion for good measure. Standard talk about his moment and his one chance, we're heard it before. Once on stage, the judges tell Lawrence to calm down, cause it's not like their known to mark the talentless with a giant red X or just get up and walk away from someone they hate or anything like that.

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Posted in America's Got Talent by Moorels at 2:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: tv freak on Jul 9, 2009 09:03 AM.