Tonight on America's Got Talent: Susan Boyle is a bigger star than the President of the United States, And now you're caught up.
Like a naive and abused housewife, I'm afraid I need to start apologizing again. I've been doing a bit of summer traveling and as a result some of the episodes from last week may have fallen through the cracks. BUT REST ASSURED. For technical reasons far too tedious to explain here, I'm projecting that starting this week the recaps should go up a reasonable amount of time after the show airs, which is probably something you readers aren't used to with me.
So a quick rundown of what happened when we were apart. Because I didn't cover it I'm sure you spent those evenings sitting in the dark and eating cookies, so here's what you need to know-
A.) We went back to New York last Wednesday, Nick Cannon is a fucking liar.
B.) MySpace is still not as good as Facebook. Despite their attempts to turn Tuesday's show into a pop-up ad.
Alright, the final night of Round 1 auditions! Who's feeling nostalgic? And nauseas that AGT plans to join Dancing with the Stars and American Idol in the much-reviled Result's Show club?
Standard recap of some the better acts that we've seen, and Nick promises us that tonight they've saved the best for last. LIKE WHEN YOU SAID WE WERE DONE IN NEW YORK? Actually, based on the way they edit the hell out of these auditions he's probably right. Also, the producers have decided that we're going to quit pretending we can find someone as talented (marketable) as good ol' Susie B., so she's just going to stop by, chat up Meredith Viera, and we'll turn the whole thing into a 60 Minutes-esque expose.
The Final Countdown plays as we look back on everywhere we've traveled (remember when we were in Houston for like five minutes?) and HEY! It's your favorite AGT duo and mine, Accordion Lady and Bikini Girl! Oh, man, you editors thought I had forgotten about the bad acts rejected from the first show, but their insistence on the importance of uniqueness has been ringing in my ears for five weeks now. The extended judge introductions play, and after a likely-prerecorded back and forth about how tonight was the last audition show, we're off and running in Los Angeles.
Because it is the last audition night we're going to dust off each and every AGT stereotype one last time, and first up is the group of friends who have long struggled. Actually, now that I think about it, after we have the frumpy housewife who has long-struggled and the precocious preteen we could call it a show. They're a bunch of guys from Indiana (who were apparently busy buying edgy bandannas during the Chicago auditions) and they're skaters. Rough town, want to go to Vegas, all the staples of the show. They call themselves Breaksk8 (and seriously? I'm sick of these weird-ass names. There isn't even an apparent reason for that 8 in there! I'm going to start calling these re: Caps and myself m00rels) and my own anger at their name aside they are very well-coordinated on the roller skates. A lot of crazy backflips and rolling around ensues, and the crowd goes wild the entire time.
But oh man, my boy Piers has only been hardened in my time away. I know I was cruel to skip a few shows, Morgan, but don't take it out on these skaters! He gives them the most shocking X that I've seen yet, but they should be pretty firmly supported by the Osbourne/Hoff Alliance. They finish and David starts talking about all the dancers that they've had on the show (which I'm sure the SKATERS really care about, Hasselhoff) and he says he needs to think about them. Piers explains himself by saying that he loved the whole act except for the skates. Uh, that WAS the act, Piers. I'll be the first to admit they weren't good dancers, but the talent was the skating. The judges continue to compare them to other breakdancers, and am I the only one feeling like that is completely unfair?
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Comments (1)
Great recap, although I do have to nitpick one thing. I didn'see the episode, so I do not know whether they called their act skating. However, they were on season 1 of America's Best Dance Crew, so I would qualify them as dancers.
1 of 1 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 27, 2009 12:32 PM