
Night 2 of the Montage Mandates, and once again we the viewer can only watch in horror as the judges likely eliminate the good, vote through the bad, and force us to watch montage after ugly montage. Will the remaining Show-Enders (RIP mailmen) be voted through? What's to become of my EriAm sisters? And will tonight be the night that Alicia finally recieves the sweet, sweet elimination that she deserves?
So there's a summary of what happened last night (I know, AGT showing us something that already happened? Shocking!) and now it's the last night to decide the Top 40. Standard opening package, and then Nick welcomes us back to Vegas. We're ready to assume standard advertising mode with many shots of the names of casinos, and then we assume standard montage mode with MORE recap of last night.
Then the judges finally break the monotony and hey! It's video footage of your least favorite act and mine, Alicia, and Piers is talking about what an incredible personality she has. C'mon, Piers, I take your side in every clash with the Osbourne/Hoff Alliance and this is how you repay me? But wait, there's a quick cut to a chick on the piano. Oh, you crafty show, who is Piers defending? Piano kid talks about how nervous he is, chainsaw juggler talks about how nervous HE is, and Sharon pulls a leaf out of my book by refusing to watch that guy shove a hook up his nose again.

David tries to defend an act (which one? Only the editor knows for sure!) by, you guessed it, assuring Piers that America would love that act. Thanks, David, but you're absolutely incorrect. Piers counters by rightly pointing out that we'd be disgusted by that act (oh, they're talking about Alicia), and we quickly move on to more editing tricks. It's basically just a refresher course on the acts we're still waiting to learn about. Dog lady! Kelly from Idol! Dancing grocery lady! Hot triplets! Oh, dear readers, my heart is sinking as I realize how many good acts there still are left.

The judges decide that some more talking would be fun, so they call up that fat guy and his skinny wife that do the acrobatic dancing. They're nervous, which we already know about EVERYONE by now, AGT, and we get a reminder montage of them doing that act where she lifts the fat guy and carries him around. From now on, whenever I need to remind someone of something I'm going to use a montage instead of a note. A short VHS of my car breaking down to ask my dad to call the mechanic, some clips of me sobbing in the corner to get my friends to spend time with me. And then afterwards David can tell me that I'm what my life is all about.
So the two walk into that weird-ass room and David asks if they can even substain a show for an hour, and the guy rightly replies that that's what they will show them in the Top 40. After a brief confab, David gives them the good news: they're moving on! This is good news for me because despite their so-so talent I found them truly charming and endearing. Call it the Os/Hoff Effect, but damnit, I'm rooting for them. The two hug and kiss and they're off to LA for Round 3.

Up next are the dance team that did the routine to the Slumdog Millionaire theme, and because this was a show I missed I'm forced to root against them. They're hanging out at a school in their video looking very much like a new CW show, and then they're practicing and flipping each other around. Also waiting is the Chicago dance team from like the first show, and I gotta think that if either of these two stood a chance they'd be in the choreography challenge with the others. The Chicago team tells us that they have no jobs to fall back on, and so their life plan to escape the ghetto is literally "win a reality TV show." I have more in common with them than I'd like to admit.
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Comments (2)
I can't believe that obnoxious little shit went through and people like Ciana, Kelly, Guitar boy, and harp girl got cut. WTF, judges?
They're constantly telling the acts they cut that they don't think they can entertain for a whole hour in Vegas, which makes you wonder about the legitimacy of keeping a grocer who dances kind of entertainingly but without any real skill, and sending home a bunch of dance crews who can do flips and headspins and stuff.
Oh yeah, and did anyone else notice how many frikkin people from America's Best Dance Crew were in those failure montages? BreakS8 was in the top ten year before last, I saw a few members of Status Quo up there, and some more I recognized but who's groups I couldn't remember. Just bouncin' from reality show to reality show.
1 of 2 | Posted by TheMiki | Posted on August 1, 2009 2:20 PM
In defense of BreakSK8, they were easily one of the top 3 in their season of ABDC until they got blindsided by some slow song that they couldn't possibly "dance" to, being on roller skates and all. What they can do on those things is incredible!
I would comment on acts I didn't like going through but I also liked those inflatable characters from last season so my vote has kind of lost it's legitimacy at this point.
2 of 2 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on August 2, 2009 4:51 AM