End of Auditons or the End of the World? - 
by Umnata
This week was the last week of auditions on America's Got Talent, and unlike American Idol, or even America's Next Top Model, that doesn't mean that we're done wading through the crap. Oh no. For every Bianca Ryan who made it through there are 5 Rapping Grannies. And yet, I can't stop watching. And even worse, I can't stop loving every minute! I believe there must be a special place in TVgasm hell for people like me, but I don't care. This week, there was no super huge talent mixed in with the puddles of crap, and no Leonid the Magnificent to keep me lauging with unintenional glee. So yes, I'm damning my immortal soul over a subpar episode of America's Got Talent, but this guy dances with a blow up doll. It's totally worth it.
You know it's going to be a good night on America's Got Talent when Brandy's hair is straight and The Hoff's face is looking extra plasticy.
1. Chicago Matadors
Fat guys dancing to "Can't Touch This". No, really that's it. That's there talent. It makes me happy because I didn't realize that I had such a marketable talent, since I'm a fat guy who dances to early 90's rap in my underwear all the time. My song choice is "Ice, Ice Baby", however. Piers says no, Brandy deflects to The Hoff, and he says no. So now, Brandy doesn't have to be the bad guy. I love her, she's a genius. But I think they should rethink things and vote these guys through, because causing people to make this face, should be considered a talent in of itself:
2. The Passing Zone
The Passing Zone looks like two of the best accountants at any mid-level firm on Long Island. Dressed business casual, they first psych out the judges by throwing a bowling ball into Yuppy #1's face. Don't worry kids; it's just a rubber ball. ZING! They are actually kind of funny, in a more clever way than say, Penn & Teller, and their big trick is Yuppy #2 gets on Yuppy #1's shoulders and they juggle flaming torches while balancing on a rolling pin. It's impressive, and they are quippy, and I like them in spite of myself. I don't know if they are America's next superstar, but I abandoned that dream about 5 minutes into the first episode. Piers doesn't like their outfits ("What's with the clothes?" "Uhh, we thought the act would be better with clothes."), but votes them through. The Hoff still hates jugglers and says NO, but Brandy gives them the okay to go to the next round. I wonder what the Juggling CPAs will do next!?!?
|
| | Next Page... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums |