Now... we get to Cas Haley and in his intro, he speaks of his wife and says he wants to win "so that Cassie won't have to work as hard to be the great mother that she is." Is it possible that this couple is named Cas and Cassie? How hilarious is that? He sets off singing a nice blues song, and does a wonderful job but really, how much can a 20-something who's married to his high school sweetheart know about the blues? I don't care though. He still sounds better than anybody else still in this competition.
Looks like a baby who grew a patch of facial hair.
Next we've got Terry Fator. What celebrity impression will he do tonight? Liza Minelli? Xtina? Tom Cochran? Nope, he does "Unforgettable," and actually is pretty unbelievable in his skill. He's not perfect, but as good as anybody could hope to be while singing through clenched teeth. I am not a fan, per se, of ventriloquism, but I've gotta admit this guy is amazing. He tries to make it all look so effortless, but this sort of thing probably takes an immense amount of patience and practice. I can only imagine the kind of patience his wife must have to let him sit in front of the mirror everyday with a goddamn puppet and do celebrity impersonations. Can you imagine her giving a house tour? "And this is where Terry sits with his puppets and does silly voices..."
"Kiss me, you fool!"
Then there's our little Julienne Irwin, who's looking good with that new makeover and actually not making me hate her. That is, until she dramatically gestures to the beat with the mic. But, overall, she's less annoying than ever before!
Blah, blah, mediocre singing... now give me that dress.
We've saved the best for last: Sideswipe! I rub my hands together maniacally in anticipation to some nice kicking of ass, possibly some shirt ripping, maybe even some sweat beads and primal roars thrown in for good measure. I can't wait! In their backstory, one of the dudes says they live by many of the philosophies of the martial arts: discipline, respect, honor, humility. I say, add muscles to that list and you've got yourself the philosophies of hotness. Now fast forward through the bullshit and give me some shirt-ripping already.
Wait, what?
The second they bring out the little kids they lose me. I signed up for hot dudes, not Tai Kwon Do kiddies! Piers says, "When an act thinks it's a good idea to bring out a load of cutesy kids, it always makes me want to puke." TOTES, Piersy! TOTES. The lead hot dude insists that these are children they teach, and they are damn proud of them, and then goes on to literally quiver with anger and held-back tears while Jerry tells us which number to dial to vote for the kids.
It's okay, buddy... just calm down.
That's the final ten, y'all. Personally, I voted for Butterscotch, as usual, because I think that little elfin princess is the only one with truly original yet mass marketable talent in this bunch. Gone are the days of the truly outrageous talentless ones; who can we laugh at now?
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Comments (2)
When mean ol' Piers hurt the feelings of those cute kids on Sideswipe and then made Hottie Sideswipe nearly cry, I had to stop voting for Butterscotch and give the rest of my votes to them.... then I went to my cell phone and gave them ten more votes. Then my daughter saw what I was doing and whipped out HER cell phone and gave them 10 more votes. Take that Piers! Poopy head.
1 of 2 | Posted by Clair
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Posted on August 3, 2007 3:05 PM
As soon as I saw your recap listed, I said to myself "Wow! THAT lame show is STILL on??"
Thanks for taking another long, painful bullet so the rest of us don't have to!
2 of 2 | Posted by NightWalker
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Posted on August 4, 2007 9:55 AM