Mandy Lynn is gone! Are you sad? Next time, eat the cake, boobalicious. What will Ben Stein do without Mandy Lynn's breasts to show him the truth and the light? Also, what will I do without Mandy Lynn boob jokes?! They were a gold mine of material.

National Endowment for the Tarts

Mousetrap credits. The house, night, after the elimination (which to us was last week, but to the contestants was like 5 minutes ago). Andre has a problem: He has a pink room and no roommates. That ain't your only problem, Ruskie, as we've seen in the news that you may be a sex offender. At the very least a serial date rapist. Maybe that's how they do things in Russia, but . . . actually, I highly doubt that's how they do things in Russia.

Wow, all of Andre's roommates have gone home. That room is cursed, y'all. Daniel talks about the fight he had Andre last week (or yesterday, if you live in the house), and his voice sounds like he sucked down a balloon of helium before talking. Has his voice always been that high? His hotness factor is fading, fading away. Daniel says Andre never apologized and that he should take responsibility. Dude. I don't even live in the house and I can tell you that that will never, ever happen. Why the heck aren't these people learning? Are they stupid? Oh, wait - yes. Yes they are.

Blonde Rachel and Jesse are talking. Or rather, Jesse is talking about himself and Blonde Rachel is feigning interest and really just thinking about the next opportunity she'll have to rub her toothpick body all over VJ. Remember last week when Mary Alice rightfully said that Jesse was fatty fat fat and that he wasn't really a model? So does Jesse. He also says he's mad at himself for crying during elimination. He shouldn't take himself so seriously. He should laugh at himself, along with the rest of America.

Blonde Rachel says that crying is good, and says something about her being on her period. Again. We get it, Blonde Rachel. I don't see why she would keep bringing it up unless she just got it for the first time ever. I imagine Mary Alice pulling her aside, sitting the two of them on the couch, glass of champagne in hand, telling Blonde Rachel that today she is a woman, and she should start acting like one, instead of a boozy whore.

That bedspread makes you look fat.

Pickel and VJ discuss Jesse as Andre mumbles in the background, most likely trying to memorize the speech his lawyers have prepared for him. VJ says Jesse's done extremely well in all the intellectual challenges. Uh-huh. Like when he said Luther Vandross wrote "The Star Spangled Banner." Pickel says Jesse's a funny guy. I say Pickel's an idiot. Then Pickel says, "...nature is taking its course. I mean, he's gay, he's black, he's overweight, he has insecurities about one of those things, at least." Andre: "He's not insecure because he's gay or black, he's insecure because he's fucking fat." Okay, that was kind of funny. And no, Andre, just because I gave you a compliment does not mean you have the right to touch me inappropriately.

Morning. Stupid morning oboe music plays. A new code on the bathroom door, which is "Independence Day." Methinks Mary Alice and Ben Stein have just given up all hope of these people becoming intelligent. What's next - "the number after 1 (hint: it's not 3!)?"

Note du jour. Something about science class, which makes me immediately want to fall asleep. Blonde Rachel interviews that she did well in science class, but she cheated off someone. They have to divide up into teams of two. VJ and Jesse pair up. VJ interviews that people may be surprised he didn't pick Blonde Rachel, but I think he's giving everyone way too much credit. No one cares, dipshit. Only Blonde Rachel, Aussie Rachael, Lisa, and Andre remain.

Stop making fun of Jesse!

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Posted in America's Most Smartest Model by Hypnotoad at 3:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: alimae on Nov 2, 2007 11:34 AM.