Tonight on America's Most Smartest Model: Daniel is partnered with Blonde Rachel for a make-your-own-fashion show (could that decision come back to haunt him?), Santino Rice of Project Runway, some hairstylist from VO5, and someone else you've never heard of before guest-star, and not one, but TWO surprise eliminations leave everyone . . . well, surprised.
Uh-oh, I think this is a trick question.
Are y'all glad that Blonde Rachel is still here? I am. Who else can we make fun of? Andre may be a commie jerk, but is he stupid? Da. He is. But he is not on the same level as Blonde Rachel. Blonde Rachel is not on the same level as the fetal pig she dissected last week. Chelsea, nooooo! All right. Let's get stupid!
Blonde Rachel is SO happy that she's still here. Mary Alice told Blonde Rachel that she is lacking in the smarts department, thus once again giving someone obvious advice. Mary Alice would also like everyone to know that if you cut off your legs, they won't grow back. She's a sage one, she is. Blonde Rachel says that she is going to partner up with Daniel because he's the smartest. And he wears scrunchies. Now, Blonde Rachel may not be smart, but I'm willing to bet she would totally veto the man scrunchie. She is demanding that Daniel be her partner, and he finally gives in. Andre appears to keep all the name tags of people who have been sent home in his room. You know, like how serial killers keep parts of victims' bodies as trophies. He says he's so close to the $100,000 prize and does that silly Dr. Evil pinky to the mouth thing as he says "$100,000." And you know what? He can't get away with that. He has the sense of humor of a Russian Jehovah's Witness.
You, sir, are no doctor.
Morning. Note du jour. The note says something about fashion, and being outside in an hour. Oh - and being square if you're not there. I bet that's Ben Stein's joke. And I bet it's not funny. Oh man, Blonde Rachel asks if they will have to know their "squares and rectangulars and circles and stuff." First of all - rectangulars? Second, what are "their" squares and circles and rectangles and stuff? Does Blonde Rachel actually think they're going to be tested on shapes? If so, she's in big trouble.
Angela says, "It's probably geometry, guys," as she lords her intelligence over the peons that sit around her. Shut up, Angela. They partner up. Andre and Angela, Pickel and Brett again. Aw, I hope they get a romantic dinner if they win. That would be so cute! I bet Brett is going to buy a couple of those half-penny best friend necklaces and give one to Pickel at dinner. And then they'll raise their glasses to the age-old traditional toast of, "Bros before hos, dude!" Blonde Rachel and Daniel are paired up. Daniel has second thoughts about being with Blonde Rachel, but he's too nice to tell her that when it comes to brains, she thought they were handing out trains and asked for a slow one.
Choo choos are scary.
They van over to Central State University Los Angeles (heretofore referred to as CSULA if I ever have to type it again). The sign says that the school mascot is the Golden Eagle. You may think that's lame, but my high school mascot was the Purple Buffalo. I understand the buffalo part, cuz it was Kansas and the entire town smelled like cow and/or buffalo poo, but purple? That ain't right.
They head to a fashion room, which looks like something from Project Runway, and I'm hoping that the fabulous Tim Gunn will show up and breathe some life into this show. I'm sure that dream won't blow up in my face! Ben Stein says they're using geometry to make clothes. How thrilling, and yet not. Oh, dude, I totally called it! Sort of! Santino Rice of Project Runway season . . . something (I haven't watched past season 1 with the delicious Wendy Pepper) . . . is going to help them out. I Wikipedia-ed Santino and found that he came in third in season 2 of Project Runway, in case you didn't know. Anyhoo. Santino has a deep voice. Pickel voice-overs that Santino makes "killer" something. It's bleeped out, so I'm assuming the next word would have been "shit." I'm sure Pickel has worn Santino's gowns many a time.
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Comments (10)
Hypnotoad, I must say I'm a little disappointed with this recap. It looks like you have pretty much stolen two jokes from a recap by C. Brian Devinney at Reality News Online. The two jokes that I noticed were the "Andre collecting mementoes from his victims like serial killers" joke and the "Santino wearing chain mail" observation.
However, I will admit that it could be just a coincidence, since you did point out some things that Devinney failed to mention.
For instance, he completely missed Andre's comment about Angela being on her period, which I found surprizing.
Anyway, I really hope that you haven't resorted to stealing jokes from other recappers. I definitely think that you are a better comic writer than that!
1 of 10 | Posted by Philemon307 | Posted on November 14, 2007 3:41 PM
Hypnotoad, I must say I'm a little disappointed with this recap. It looks like you have pretty much stolen two jokes from a recap by C. Brian Devinney at Reality News Online. The two jokes that I noticed were the "Andre collecting mementoes from his victims like serial killers" joke and the "Santino wearing chain mail" observation.
However, I will admit that it could be just a coincidence, since you did point out some things that Devinney failed to mention.
For instance, he completely missed Andre's comment about Angela being on her period, which I found surprizing.
Anyway, I really hope that you haven't resorted to stealing jokes from other recappers. I definitely think that you are a better comic writer than that!
2 of 10 | Posted by Philemon307 | Posted on November 14, 2007 3:42 PM
The jokes could have been coincidental, because they both have pretty obvious punchlines. I mean, come on- that shirt was begging for a chain mail comment, and Andre reminded me of a violent serial killer WAY before the creepy collecting.
Still, the rest of the recap is too fucking hilarious, so I don't care either way.
3 of 10 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on November 14, 2007 10:03 PM
I quite enjoyed the recap, but I'm definitely sad Blonde Rachel is gone. As dumb as she was, I really kinda loved her. As long as Angela goes next, I will be happy. At least I can still look at Brett and Pickle. Is there anyway I can have those two personally entertain me???
4 of 10 | Posted by lalia | Posted on November 15, 2007 11:09 AM
Philemon -
The only thing I've ever stolen was a pack of condoms from a convenient store on a dare in 7th grade. It's 100% coincidence. Like dangerdarling said, Santino's shirt practically screams chain mail, and Andre? Always been a serial killer. Even my friends who watch the show have stated that, without any prodding from me. My recaps are 100% Hypnotoad, made fresh (never frozen) for your enjoyment.
I too am saddened by the loss of Blonde Rachel. Are there any truly dumb "models" left? *sigh* Thank god for Daniel (potentially) going psycho next week. I can't wait for that ep!
Thanks for all the nice comments, guys! I'll try to continue to do you proud!
5 of 10 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 15, 2007 11:45 AM
Philemon -
The only thing I've ever stolen was a pack of condoms from a convenient store on a dare in 7th grade. It's 100% coincidence. Like dangerdarling said, Santino's shirt practically screams chain mail, and Andre? Always been a serial killer. Even my friends who watch the show have stated that, without any prodding from me. My recaps are 100% Hypnotoad, made fresh (never frozen) for your enjoyment.
I too am saddened by the loss of Blonde Rachel. Are there any truly dumb "models" left? *sigh* Thank god for Daniel (potentially) going psycho next week. I can't wait for that ep!
Thanks for all the nice comments, guys! I'll try to continue to do you proud!
6 of 10 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 15, 2007 11:46 AM
Philemon -
The only thing I've ever stolen was a pack of condoms from a convenience store on a dare in 7th grade. It's 100% coincidence. Like dangerdarling said, Santino's shirt practically screams chain mail, and Andre? Always been a serial killer. Even my friends who watch the show have stated that, without any prodding from me. My recaps are 100% Hypnotoad, made fresh (never frozen) for your enjoyment.
I too am saddened by the loss of Blonde Rachel. Are there any truly dumb "models" left? *sigh* Thank god for Daniel (potentially) going psycho next week. I can't wait for that ep!
Thanks for all the nice comments, guys! I'll try to continue to do you proud!
7 of 10 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 15, 2007 11:48 AM
Philemon -
The only thing I've ever stolen was a pack of condoms from a convenience store on a dare in 7th grade. It's 100% coincidence. Like dangerdarling said, Santino's shirt practically screams chain mail, and Andre? Always been a serial killer. Even my friends who watch the show have stated that, without any prodding from me. My recaps are 100% Hypnotoad, made fresh (never frozen) for your enjoyment.
I too am saddened by the loss of Blonde Rachel. Are there any truly dumb "models" left? *sigh* Thank god for Daniel (potentially) going psycho next week. I can't wait for that ep!
Thanks for all the nice comments, guys! I'll try to continue to do you proud!
8 of 10 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 15, 2007 11:51 AM
As much as they annoyed me, I may miss Blonde Rachel's crazy facial expressions and googly eyes. Those things are out of control! I wish someone told her she was too fat to be a model (not because she's too frail, sun damaged, or all-around trashneck looking). I've come to terms knowing that I'll never see Jesse's big fat gut again; so alas, I guess this too shall pass.
One thing I'll never miss is Ivan Drago. Please deport him or something. Anything. With a lifetime supply of his Soviet Moisturizing Body Wash from the last episode. I totally hope one of the dudes peed in it.
On a lighter note, lets keep seeing Brett in his skirt and robe. Hooootttt!
9 of 10 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on November 15, 2007 1:12 PM
Hypnotoad, I apologize to you and withdraw my earlier statement. Since I've thought about it a little more, I've realized that it's definitely a coincidence. I apologize if I offended you at all.
But what the heck were you doing steal condoms from a convenience store in the 7th grade, anyway? When I was that age, I got mine for free from the strip clubs, just like every other 12 year old!
10 of 10 | Posted by Philemon | Posted on November 16, 2007 11:44 AM