This week on America's Most Smartest Model, the alliance continues, another ridiculously pathetic attempt at a runway show occurs (which Angela excels at, much to the audience's annoyance), Andre works well with a team for once, and the Brokebackian relationship of Pickel and Brett is put to the test.
Get me a DumDum. I'm bored.
Disco-y credits, over which we hear Blonde Rachel say "Umbrella tree...?" And some other sound bites. House. Morning. Angela is upset that Daniel went home. Andre is glad Daniel went home and is happy about his alliance with Aussie Rachael and the power-couple: Pickel and Brett. They're all laying out poolside, and Pickel looks kinda hot all stretched out with his hands behind his head, exposing his slightly hairy armpits and nice biceps, a tattoo on the right one. Too bad he has the personality of a hummingbird on crack. They all hate VJ. Pickel says the alliance is unbeatable. Uh huh. Famous last words, lameass. Go make out with your chicken. Or Brett.
Or me. Whatever.
Note du jour. It comes with tennis shoes and t-shirts and workout gear. Um, didn't they already do something like this in the second or third episode? I swear, this show has no self-esteem. Kind of like Angela, who has to hide behind a veneer of confidence, which lies behind a mask of assurance, which is wrapped in a turban of bitchiness.
Angela reads the note, which says they need to be in teams of two, put on the workout gear, and meet Mary Alice in the living room in an hour, where she'll be laying on the couch with a glass of Cristal and a bowl of baked Lays lounging while everyone else works. VJ asks Andre to be his partner, and seriously 5 awkward, silent seconds go by while everyone stares vacantly into space, trying to grasp the concept of human conversation. Andre finally says that everyone should take a moment, breathe, and then talk about picking partners. I think I'll follow his advice and take a moment, breathe, and wonder why the hell I'm watching this crap.
Oh, yeah! Cuz this job's making me RICH! RICH I TELL YOU!!!
VJ interviews that he thought he would take this opportunity to get to know Andre, while Andre interviews that VJ is a "snaky bastard." Well. If that isn't the sexual assaulter calling the kettle black, I don't know what is. Angela says VJ has been strong in the last few challenges, and she decides to make him her ally. They think they're a good team.
There's an alliance meeting in the purple bathroom. They do the usual alliance talk, all, "We're better blah blah blah, it's us vs. them blah blah blah, we're so pretty blah blah blah Pickel and Brett are registered at Pottery Barn blah blah blah." Pickel and Brett are partners in the challenge. And will be life-partners after the competition is through. That leaves Aussie Rachael and Andre. Thrilling, thrilling stuff.
The "models" meet Mary Alice and Ben Stein in the living room. Ben Stein explains that one "model" has to answer questions quickly, while the other is on a treadmill. How quickly the "model" answers questions will determine how fast the treadmill will go. Brett, Andre, and VJ are running. All of the teams get the same questions, so Angela and Aussie Rachael have to leave so they won't hear the questions. Ben fires questions at Pickel who does okay. Angela does pretty well, but Mary Alice is upset that she passed on the question, "Name a top designer from Italy."
Really, Mary Alice? Upset and surprised? Because yes, you truly are grooming these people to be real models by making them act in workout videos with Gilad and answering questions so they don't have to eat chocolate cake. And having one freaking runway show throughout the entire series, which wasn't even a real runway show in the first place. If you want people to act like models, Mary Alice, maybe you should start training them to be models instead of circus freaks. Like Jesse. And Mandy Lynn. And Blonde Rachel.
Two bottoms don't make a top. Don't say I never taught you anything.
Aussie Rachael is next. She does pretty well. Pickel got 10 right, Angela got 13, and Aussie Rachael got 13 as well. Ooh, it's a tie for first. Brett has to run at level 9; Andre and VJ have to run at level 6. I'm running at level 0, as I'm sitting on my ass with a glass of shiraz and a mystery-flavored Dum Dum sucker. Oooh! I'm Mary Alice!
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Comments (7)
Pickel noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Aw man, why couldn't it be Angela? or VJ? I kinda like Pickel :( Ah well, hopefully next week either of them will go home, they are so annoying.
1 of 7 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on November 28, 2007 12:13 AM
I'm kind of saddened by the loss of Pickel, like I was saddened by the loss of my canker sore last week. Nah, I think Pickel's a nice guy (and he was sexy in this ep), but a model? Not so sure. He's cute though. But I bet he's annoying in bed. He seems like the kind of guy who would roll over and stare at you after sex and say, "Watcha thinkin'?" Just saying.
And why do I like VJ now? I think it's because he no longer has Blonde Rachel to drag him down. So to speak. Don't get me wrong - everyone on this show is annoying me, but VJ seems to have a good head on his shoulders, and a good set of pecs on his . . . never mind.
I really, really hope Angela doesn't win. She's so full of herself - she makes Britney Spears look like Mother freakin' Theresa. If, you know, Mother Theresa didn't wear underpants and ran over people in her car. And wasn't dead.
2 of 7 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 28, 2007 1:11 AM
PICKEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i loved loved pickel!!!! he was soo funny. cant help it but i thought his chicago accent was so cute. anywho angela sucks and needs to go. and Hypnotoad lay off-the shows not that bad, its on VH1 what do you expect- grammy winning material. anywho andre's awesome too-he's fkin funny!
3 of 7 | Posted by sassybella11 | Posted on November 28, 2007 10:27 AM
I admit that I watched this show. The first step is admitting you have a problem...
Apparently VJ and Ivan the Unbearable are the only straight men... so I'm surprised they haven't at least formed a temporary defensive aliance.
If being grossed out by the thought of gay sex makes you a "homophobe", then would most gay men be considered "heterophobes"? (I'm just throwing that out there.)
4 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 28, 2007 10:43 AM
First things first, I love when you throw in random references to Kansas because I'm also from the good ol Sunflower state.
Now on to business, as much as I loved the bromance that was Brett and Pickle, I have to say that I am on team VJ. Not only is he crazy hot, he is the only one that has grasped the fact that this is a competition (as lame as it is...prizes and all). Even in the previews for next week, he was the only one with sense enough to step off the moving platform since they all just seemed to stand on it and get turned right along with the car.
That all being said, I still loved Pickle even if he was slightly annoying in opposite way that Angela is annoying. Maybe I just liked him because I like Brett. But I think I like Brett because I kinda want to have relations with him. But that can't be right because I would take VJ, Brett, and Pickle. I digress...
5 of 7 | Posted by lalia | Posted on November 28, 2007 11:23 AM
I just watched an episode of Kimora's Life in the Fab Lane ("The Devil Wears Baby Phat") and Mary Alice was definitely in it...except she was listed as a stylist to Kimora. So what exactly does Mary Alice do because I thought she was involved in some magazine? I seriously never pay attention as to what she does when I watch AMSM. Well if Kimora trusts her to dress her, she's gotta be on her game.
6 of 7 | Posted by lalia | Posted on November 29, 2007 12:01 PM
I actually like Pickle, Andre, and Brett. VJ bugs the crap out of me, and I swear Mary Alice is in love with him. She praises absolutely everything he does.
I'm bummed to see Pickle go--and I'm afraid that we're going to lose my boy Brett next week :(
7 of 7 | Posted by bonash | Posted on November 30, 2007 10:27 PM