Tonight on America's Most Smartest Model, Brett tries to pick up the pieces after the elimination of Pickel, go-karts are built rather shabbily and then raced in a medium-speed, minimal-tension race, a rotating car throws everyone off their game, and a surprise elimination decision surprises people. Because that's what it's supposed to do.
Surprise! The mullet's back!
Yay! Finals (or my school's equivalent of finals, "Critique Week") are over! Forget about art school - I want to see some half-naked dummies!
Pickel is gone now, and with him go multiple double entendre jokes, like, "I'll take a VJ and Brett sandwich, hold the Pickel." "Oh, I'll hold the Pickel all right!" And . . . something with Pickel juice that you can make up yourself because I'm too much of a gentleman to go there.
Morning at the house. Andre lays a dill pickle slice on a note in memory of Pickel. Clever, Andre. Aussie Rachael and Brett laugh, although Brett is crying on the inside, comforting himself by singing Melissa Manchester's "Don't Cry Out Loud" in his head. Keep it inside, Brett. Learn how to hide your feelings.
The dumber the Pickel the sweeter the juice.
Aussie Rachael says that there are 5 left and she's been in the bottom 3 three times now. Brett interviews that he will miss his buddy Pickel. Not his buddy's pickle, mind you. But I guess that's a possibility. Dammit. Where are we going to get our man-on-man kicks now, huh? I'm not holding my breath for another Boy Meets Boy, that's for sure. Andre interviews that even without Pickel, the Alliance of Delusion is strong.
Note du jour. It says something about "drive for success" and to divide into teams of two. And just as I scream at my television, "There are five effing people, Mary Alice!" I am cut short by an extension of the note, which says that the "models" get to decide who will be the odd person out. I hope it's Angela. Ooh, VJ has his shirt off and he looks very dreamy. Brett volunteers to be the odd man out and interviews that Pickel will be with him in spirit today. Taste that? Yeah, that's the taste of you throwing up in your mouth a little. Aussie Rachael and Andre pair up. So VJ and Angela are together. Easy peasy.
The "models" arrive at a garage. Like a mechanic's garage, not the one at my parent's house that holds a mini fridge filled with Diet Coke and an old Pong console. In the garage are go-karts. I should also mention that Andre and Aussie Rachael are wearing the same type of shirt. I should also mention that that is so very, very lame.
Mary Alice welcomes the "models," and introduces Carter Oosterhouse, whom you may recognize from Trading Spaces. I believe he replaced the coked-out ferret that is Ty Pennington, but I'm not sure. I think Carter has a mullet. Ben Stein says they'll be tested on engineering by building go-karts. The first 2 teams to build the karts (in racing condition) will get to race each other, and the winner(s) of that race will win the edge challenge. For the love of pete!
Angela interviews that she loves cars and has been working on cars with her dad since she was a little girl. Infuriating! Expert on everything, that girl is. Especially on being a snotty jerk. She's been working on that ever since she was a little girl. Carter tells them what to do, which basically boils down to building a go-kart. Mary Alice asks if Brett misses Pickel and Brett says that Pickel's there in spirit. Awkward, uncomfortable laughter ensues.
No really. Don't you guys see him?
To add further stupid-ness, the teams pick colors and get lycra outfits in those colors. Andre picks red, and interviews that he's happy to be wearing red: "Back to Soviet Union, baby!" Ben Stein tells them to begin. He and Mary Alice go out for a light lunch of pinot grigio and a fruit and cheese plate at The Ivy while the "models" get to work.
Angela immediately throws herself under the go-kart because she's an expert! Aussie Rachael interviews that Andre has to know something about cars because he's a man. Therefore, Aussie Rachael must know about baking cakes, dusting the living room, and making a nice pot roast for her husband when he comes back from a hard day at the office. Way to set us back 60 years, Aussie Rachael.
« Friday Night Lights: Is That A Cabo In Your Pants? | | Desperate Housewives: There's a Twister A Comin'! »
Comments (7)
lol at eyeball model!
1 of 7 | Posted by amchess | Posted on December 5, 2007 5:13 AM
Thanks for the shoutout Hypnotoad!! You know I know ALL about the State Fair, and let me say that I absolutely love it because the cream of the Kansas crop come out for it every year. Love it!
Now on with the show! I really have nothing more to contribute because your recap was a)hilarious and b)exactly my thoughts put into your words. Perfect. Although I was kind of with VJ on the whole calling his friend thing. Yeah it was a little shiesty, but that's how VJ roles! Plus his fish comment absolutely killed me. I was kind of sad to see Brett and his teeth go, but then I remembered that he'd started to irritate me in recent weeks.
Loved the recap!
2 of 7 | Posted by lalia | Posted on December 5, 2007 10:15 AM
Maybe I'm a little naive in saying this, but doesn't anyone else get the feeling this show is completely rigged. VJ wins an Edge challenge, and gets to decide how long everyone will have for a photoshoot and the order for picking animals, meaning Daniel gets 30 seconds and the hardest animal. Essentially, VJ got to pick someone to go home when he won the edge challenge. Andre and Rachael win the Edge Challenge and they get a brochure and a ride in a car.
3 of 7 | Posted by Alafoss5 | Posted on December 5, 2007 12:31 PM
Another cheer for Kansas! Woo! Lalia, Hypnotoad, if you have never enjoyed the greatness that is Little Balkans Days in Pittsburg (where I am now), then please... just use your imagination.
As for AMSM, I loved the rise and fall of one of the least productive alliances ever, the Alliance of Delusion. Seriously, since they decided to join forces, three of their members have been voted out in a row. Well done, alliance. The surprise is that Andre has become amusing. I laughed when he shouted "Soviet!" as he crossed the finish line. I don't like VJ's arrogance or Angela's... existence. I don't particularly care if any of these three win, but I think I'll root for the Soviet, since he's actually become cheery lately rather than overbearing like the beginning of the season.
And as for rigged... I don't know. I do find VJ as very skeezy and skirting the edge of the rulebook, and when people call him out on it, they get portrayed as whiners. It seems like VJ is like the football player who elbows and trips people when the refs aren't looking.
4 of 7 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on December 5, 2007 12:36 PM
These recaps are the only reason I bother watching the show anymore...hilarious. Consistently.
What art school? I'm going to hit some up after national portfolio day in NOLA...not that I can afford it.
5 of 7 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on December 5, 2007 9:46 PM
Little Balkan Days? Hee. Ah, Kansas. I actually miss it. Well, sometimes.
Thanks for the compliment, dangerdarling. I go to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. It's freaking expensive and sort of pretentious. We got free cookies today though.
Wasn't there a topic I was supposed to talk about . . . oh yeah. The show. I don't think it's rigged, exactly. But this Edge prize was pretty lame. I mean, if they were all going to go to that Jag briefing in the first place, then how much could a brochure help them out? This is, quite literally perhaps, the first reality show that I've ever watched in which I haven't been cheering for one person to win the whole season. People are either completely devoid of personality (Aussie Rachael), or have too much of one (Andre). It's an odd show, this one. I'm so ready to recap the finale! As Ben Stein would say, I'm gonna burn that mother DOWN!
6 of 7 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on December 6, 2007 5:15 PM
Yeah...i think this show is total bullshit. None of them are REALLY model material. And the challenges are a joke.
But it makes for good recaps, I guess.
7 of 7 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:31 PM