Ben Stein says that VJ "burned this mother down." He then goes on to lavish praise on VJ. Male Jag exec says it was a grand slam for Angela, and Ben Stein agrees. Female Jag exec says she'd take both of them if she could. Everyone agrees that VJ and Angela should share the win for the challenge, so they tie for the win. I don't know. I think VJ had more eye contact with the audience than Angela, and my high school speech teacher, Mr. Scott, said that eye contact was very important. He also fell asleep during our speeches, so whatever.
Mr. Scott?
Andre is confused by the concept of a tie. There is no tie in Soviet Russia! No tie! VJ and Angela have made it to the finale. So now Mary Alice asks them whom they chose to be eliminated last night. She opens an envelope to reveal VJ's name. Brett has yet another case of verbal diarrhea and says that VJ is sneaky. VJ interviews that he "wiped my ass with their face." That's a real easy way to get an infection, VJ.
Andre and VJ argue and have a bleep-fest. When they arrive home, they find a bottle of champagne from Mary Alice for VJ and Angela. Wow, Mary Alice shares the love! Andre tells Brett that he's going home tonight. Aussie Rachael tells Brett he's not going anywhere. That's what we in the television industry call a bald-faced lie. That alliance is working out real well, eh?
Elimination, bitches! Andre, Aussie Rachael, and Brett walk down the runway to meet Ben and Mary Alice. VJ interviews that Andre is boiling inside and VJ is loving it. Mary Alice says she expected the three of them to be in the finale, but hasn't she been saying that for the last four episodes or something? Aussie Rachael perhaps put too much pressure on herself. What happened to Andre, they ask? Mary Alice says he's clearly not a spokesmodel. He interviews, "Why would I want to be a spokesmodel?" I have to say that I'm with him on this one.
And now Brett. Mary Alice once again brings up Pickel. She says that she knows that they joke about it, but he's clearly gone downhill since Pickel left. Mary Alice and Ben wanted more from him. Brett interviews that he wants to win, to "let the nice guy finish first, let the nice guy finish first." I'm sure that's supposed to be endearing, but I just find it annoying as hell. Oh, it's such a painful decision to make! Whatever Mary Alice and Ben. Ben tells Aussie Rachael that she must "vanish into oblivion." Um, I'm pretty sure that's going to happen to anyone involved with this show, Ben. The Alliance of Delusion is down one more person. Aussie Rachael interviews that she knows what she's capable of and that she feels like a real model now. I don't see how that's possible, but whatev, sweetie.
Eyeball model.
But wait . . . something weird is happening. Mary Alice asks Ben if he's ready and then makes the announcement that there is one more elimination tonight. Buh! Kuh! Chuh! Wha?! Andre is a good model but an asshole. Brett's not an asshole but he's not exactly a good model. Ben gives a metaphor about tooth whitening, and tells Brett that he must "vanish into history." Again - everyone involved with show. And now the Alliance of Delusion is just an Andre of Delusion. Brett says he has no regrets. Angela tries to shake Andre's hand but is shot down. Only one episode left! Kudos to you for making it this long.
Next Week: The leftovers go to Palm Springs. A photo shoot, with no farm animals or obstacle courses! Angela thinks VJ is a pathological liar. Takes one to know one! Only one person can be America's Most Smartest Model. And only four viewers care.
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Comments (7)
lol at eyeball model!
1 of 7 | Posted by amchess | Posted on December 5, 2007 5:13 AM
Thanks for the shoutout Hypnotoad!! You know I know ALL about the State Fair, and let me say that I absolutely love it because the cream of the Kansas crop come out for it every year. Love it!
Now on with the show! I really have nothing more to contribute because your recap was a)hilarious and b)exactly my thoughts put into your words. Perfect. Although I was kind of with VJ on the whole calling his friend thing. Yeah it was a little shiesty, but that's how VJ roles! Plus his fish comment absolutely killed me. I was kind of sad to see Brett and his teeth go, but then I remembered that he'd started to irritate me in recent weeks.
Loved the recap!
2 of 7 | Posted by lalia | Posted on December 5, 2007 10:15 AM
Maybe I'm a little naive in saying this, but doesn't anyone else get the feeling this show is completely rigged. VJ wins an Edge challenge, and gets to decide how long everyone will have for a photoshoot and the order for picking animals, meaning Daniel gets 30 seconds and the hardest animal. Essentially, VJ got to pick someone to go home when he won the edge challenge. Andre and Rachael win the Edge Challenge and they get a brochure and a ride in a car.
3 of 7 | Posted by Alafoss5 | Posted on December 5, 2007 12:31 PM
Another cheer for Kansas! Woo! Lalia, Hypnotoad, if you have never enjoyed the greatness that is Little Balkans Days in Pittsburg (where I am now), then please... just use your imagination.
As for AMSM, I loved the rise and fall of one of the least productive alliances ever, the Alliance of Delusion. Seriously, since they decided to join forces, three of their members have been voted out in a row. Well done, alliance. The surprise is that Andre has become amusing. I laughed when he shouted "Soviet!" as he crossed the finish line. I don't like VJ's arrogance or Angela's... existence. I don't particularly care if any of these three win, but I think I'll root for the Soviet, since he's actually become cheery lately rather than overbearing like the beginning of the season.
And as for rigged... I don't know. I do find VJ as very skeezy and skirting the edge of the rulebook, and when people call him out on it, they get portrayed as whiners. It seems like VJ is like the football player who elbows and trips people when the refs aren't looking.
4 of 7 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on December 5, 2007 12:36 PM
These recaps are the only reason I bother watching the show anymore...hilarious. Consistently.
What art school? I'm going to hit some up after national portfolio day in NOLA...not that I can afford it.
5 of 7 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on December 5, 2007 9:46 PM
Little Balkan Days? Hee. Ah, Kansas. I actually miss it. Well, sometimes.
Thanks for the compliment, dangerdarling. I go to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. It's freaking expensive and sort of pretentious. We got free cookies today though.
Wasn't there a topic I was supposed to talk about . . . oh yeah. The show. I don't think it's rigged, exactly. But this Edge prize was pretty lame. I mean, if they were all going to go to that Jag briefing in the first place, then how much could a brochure help them out? This is, quite literally perhaps, the first reality show that I've ever watched in which I haven't been cheering for one person to win the whole season. People are either completely devoid of personality (Aussie Rachael), or have too much of one (Andre). It's an odd show, this one. I'm so ready to recap the finale! As Ben Stein would say, I'm gonna burn that mother DOWN!
6 of 7 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on December 6, 2007 5:15 PM
Yeah...i think this show is total bullshit. None of them are REALLY model material. And the challenges are a joke.
But it makes for good recaps, I guess.
7 of 7 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:31 PM