Testimonials

Both of the Ugly But Smart judges liked that Andre had someone else do his presentation for him. Mr. Psychologist says that it was nice because English is not Andre's first language. Oh, come on! He speaks English perfectly fine - he's just a turd! Dr. Rocket Scientist says it was "thinking outside of the box." Cameron McPretention, one of the Pretty But Dumb judges, says that he prefers Andre because he's "groovier" and put on an "edgy" presentation. The other lady says she prefers VJ because he's chic and polished. Once again, Mary Alice and Ben are all, "Oh, this is a tough one!" The words sound hollow and pointless to me now, having lost all credibility when they said the exact same things when it came down to Jesse and Mandy Lynn.

Would you rather be burned alive or skinned alive?

Ben thought VJ's performance was professional and polished. Agreed, Mr. Stein. Ben suggests bringing them back out for a model-off debate thingy. Mary Alice likes the idea. Ben posits that Andre and VJ discuss why modeling is not just about faces and figures, but also about strength of character. VJ pretty much spews the same crap that he did in his presentation. Andre interrupts VJ to accuse him of cheating. It's the same old song and dance, without singing and dancing, which would be so much more amusing.

Mary Alice says, "Andre, do me a favor and don't interrupt." Oh yeah! Soviet just got served! Ben says that they're not supposed to be yelling, they're supposed to be discussing. Well, that sucks for Andre because those two things are one and the same to him. VJ represents himself well, as usual. Andre says he was fair, and that VJ's message, "God forbid he wins, is a message that I do not want my children to see." Oh man, that's a scary thought, isn't it? Little Andres running around in diapers, yelling "Soviet!" in a tiny voice and allegedly assaulting women?

Andre spirals into this whole tired "VJ cheats!" diatribe. VJ just laughs, because he knows that Andre is just handing this competition over to him on a silver platter. Mary Alice and Ben write furiously on pieces of paper. Mary Alice writes: "Buy more champagne!" and underlines it twice. Ben writes: "Call agent!" and circles it, draws stars around it, and then doodles a picture of himself hanging from a tree, with a caption that reads, "What this show makes me want to do to myself," before passing it over to Dr. Rocket Scientist who nods in agreement. Ben and Mary Alice thank Andre and VJ and say they'll meet them back at the mansion.

Come on, guys, you can do it. It's almost over!

Final elimination, bitches! Andre walks on the runway, and then VJ walks out. Intense. Mary Alice says VJ had the least experience and she was concerned that he wasn't model enough. But he got better and used his smarts to watch and learn. Mary Alice says he's now a model. Ben says that he was impressed by Andre's energy, and he was annoying at the beginning. But he made friends and gave up his antagonizing ways, which worked in his favor. Did it? Did it, Ben Stein?! Yeah, that Alliance of Delusion worked REAL well.

Mary Alice asks Ben about the PowerPoint presentation. He says VJ's was like a sales presentation, but a good one. Andre's was more daring. He rolled the dice and took a gamble. Choosing Pickel was a "stroke of genius." Mary Alice asks VJ what he thinks about Andre using Pickel for the presentation. VJ says it was "almost cowardly." Word, dude. Word. Andre is shocked, and the VH1 editor takes about a million facial expression shots out of context and splices them here to give us what feels like 20 seconds of Andre's reaction to this statement. VJ goes on to say that Andre did what he did because "he knows that he cannot beat me himself," and he didn't "have the ability to present like I do." Word again, man. Word. Mary Alice says, "clearly, Andre is the best model." Clearly, Mary Alice is crazy, cuz Russian dude is unattractive as hell.

Mary Alice is a crack addict.

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Posted in America's Most Smartest Model by Hypnotoad at 12:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: smolls on Dec 28, 2007 11:11 AM.