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Finale time, everyone! Forget Edward and Jacob -- are you Team BEN or Team Laura?
Or Team Wet Bikini Orgy?
Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: America's Next Top Model: Team BEN or Team Laura?" »
This week on America's Next Top Model, Mr. Jay shocks the girls by announcing that not one, but two of them will be eliminated before the final runway. I'm assuming the designer they suckered into agreeing to do ANTM refused to ruin his/her show with more than two midgets.
Reason # 812,039 why I hope the rumors that he's off the Judges Panel next cycle are true.
Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: America's Next Top Model: And Then There Were Two..." »
This week on America's Next Top Model, I'm sad to report that no one drowns during an underwater photo shoot.
"Oh, so THAT'S the difference between the labia majora and the labia minora! Thanks, Marisa Miller!"
This week on America's Next Top Model, the girls travel to Hawaii, where Tyra finds the justification to offend as many racial and ethnic groups as possible within one hour.
"Yes, this should be inappropriate enough to earn me some extra Google Search Results this week!"
This week on America's Next Top Model, Tyra keeps speeding up the typical timeline of the challenges and throws the CoverGirl commercial at the girls, which prompts one of them to have a meltdown of epic proportions. Love it.
"BEN, this dress makes me look young and hip, right? Not to mention that it's totally flattering for my boobs, right?"
"Ummmm.... <blink>."
Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: America's Next Top Model: Not Very Easy or Breezy" »
This week on America's Next Top Model, Karl proves the only modeling job she should book is Mugatu's "Derelicte" collection, and two girls don't make it back on time from the go-see challenge. Place your bets now!
The editors mistake one of Brittany's protruding ribs for a nipple.
Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: America's Next Top Model: Kung Fu Fighting." »
This week on America's Next Top Model, the girls head off to Vegas where a fan favorite slips up a bit, and a dumb bitch thankfully goes home instead.
"HAHA, BEN, you've got to be kidding me! For the last time, I do not have any weed!"
This week on America's Next Top Model, we have to suffer through the CoverGirl makeup challenge (where unfortunately no one comes out looking like a clown whore), as well as through Tyra's annual delusion that she's a legitimate photographer.
I really would prefer her to spend the rest of the cycle this way...
Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: America's Next Top Model: Wrap Your Head Around That" »
This week on America's Next Top Model, the girls finally get catty and my friends can take a break from suicide watch as Tyra's big yapper takes a backseat for once. Instead, we get an impromptu performance from The Supremes.
"Stop! In the naaaaaame of Tyra!"
This week on America's Next Top Model, Tyra teaches us how to make up words. I can do it too! Let's see... I'm going to take "awful" "arrogant" and "hypocrite" and what do I get?! TYRA!
"She's a sucky person!"
Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: America's Next Top Model: Super Smeyes Needs to Die." »