Thanks for subbing, Lolo! Great recap. I wish the substitutes for my high school classes had half as much skill (and humor!) as you.

I pretty much agree with everything you said, but I really cannot stand Marjorie. I know she takes decent pictures (sometimes) but her ridiculous hunchback poses and whiny personality rule the day. I think this thing is Elina's to lose.

Yay that was awesome LoLo!

I can fix your confusion about the LC's top while tanning. It's a bra from Victoria's Secret that is lacy on the outside, but lined in a leopard print. That's why it looked like she was switching tops. I only know because I have the same bra. haha I am such a creeper for even noticing that though.

Loved the recap!!!

It's like you were reading my mind all the way through. Except for Marjorie, can't stand her or her hunchback. And please, give me a break, a leg hooked over the handicap handrail in a public restroom and she has the best picture?!

And McKey has got to go too. I agree, she does look like Paul McCartney.

And Elina is NOT Pretty!!!

Did anyone else notice the unfortunate angle of Elina's "Final Shot" signature pose picture? She appears to have some "danglies". See the screencap on Page 2 of this recap. Not even close to the Survivor accidentally NSFW shot of Marcus's escape from his boxer briefs, but still kinda weird. Unfortunate camera angle, I guess. Excellent recap, btw.

I had the feeling that Elina was going to be eliminated at some point because they have a challenge with fur and she won't wear it. But I guess she can put aside her "veganism" and wear leather shoes, silk, etc., so I guess she is good to go.

I have always thought Cheese was one of the strongest girls. It seems like they eliminated one of the best girls every season for lacking "personality"--last year it was Katarzyna.

I thought Joslyn was in the top two or three, so I'm puzzled as to why they called her so low.

I've been waiting for Elina to get eliminated when they have a challenge where they have to wear fur, or something, that she refuses to wear. But she seems to have no trouble modeling leather shoes and silk, so I guess she is good to go. Her "control issues" may get her, though.

I thought Cheese was one of the strongest girls, so I am surprised that she was eliminated on basically one bad picture. They always eliminate one of the best girls for not having "personality"--last year it was Katarzyna.

I thought that Joslyn was in the top two or three, so I totally don't get why they called her so low.

great recap...but I am continually confused by this show. The judges don't seem to consider anything Mr. Jay says during the actual shoots. And they disregard their own comments when ranking the girls.

I also will never understand the hideous shoulder slouching thing. I've never found scoliosis to be attractive or fashionable.

Of course Lauren Cheese went this week. They have two other blondes still in the running, but Sheena, Elina, and Joselyn are the only ethnic/exotic looks still in the running (to become America's Next Top Model.) Tyra insists on racial balance.

Lolo, you do in fact a far better job then Hoolia. She(or he) bores me to death with her recaps. I want you to stay. You made me laugh a couple of times, which is why I am watching ANTM...
I hate Marjorie... her depressed state is utterly depressing... Get her out of there, put her in a mental institution, so she can learn what real misery is...

lmao, that was soo good. thanks for the laugh
especially the
"holds her mouth like she's sucking dick"
i didnt know that could be a description. lol but you've used it!
this season is abit yawn. i wish majorie would be more crazy....

Heyy, it's one of my favourite recappers. COOL.
I was surprised to see Lauren go home, since she had consistently good photos before. Sam should have gone home... her mall girl perkiness is really starting to irk me.

I don't mind the hunchback look...it's a little weird, to say the least, but not bad.

I really don't mind Marjorie's awkwardness or her insecurity. it's kind of nice, actually, to see someone on television who isn't so incredibly narcissitic. Sam is a perfect example of this, as was Clark.

I never thought Lauren Cheese was a very strong contender. I think she got lucky with good hair and make-up the first couple of times but her hideous zombie eyes and giant alien forehead had to rear their ugly heads eventually. I think they finally realized how crazy ugly she actually is. That girl photographs completely different than how she looks on television. It's bizarre. Like Jekyll and Hyde.

Tyra showing up in her very own USPS costume, in the flesh, just proves how much ass they photoshop off of her in those Tyra Mail photos. Way to go Tyra. Normally I wouldn't be so bitchy, at least not out loud, but she just annoys me that much.

Hmm . . . why do I love this show so, it's like a crazy addiction, and it's the one show I almost always watch somewhat live (tivo pause and forward) . . . Guess I don't hate Tyra as much as you folks do, not that she's not ridiculous, the whole thing is completely over the top. I love the final pics, but find it frustrating when they don't pick the best one . . . Marj for example, had a ton of great shots, so I don't get the foot on the rail . . . the hunchback, well, not my pick, but I'm glad to see her stepping up a bit and getting more confidence. I do find whiners like her a bit draining, like black holes, there's never enough stuff to fill their aching neediness!!!

I thought McKey looked gorgeous in her pic, I'm surprised at the hate here, coz she seems kind and down to earth with smokin' bone structure, albiet, a tad masculine, which might be why I likey!

The acting/commercial episode should be interesting, it's usually where the frontrunner will take the reins, which I would think is Elina, but in covergirl world (which I'd like to add now has Ellen commercials, and Queen (sexually ambiguous) Latifah--They may be hipper than we think) I would think Jos will do well here, in personality, and McKey has that crooked lip thing, so we'll see. I'm sure Elina will be cold, Sam too casual (loved the mall desc!) AnaL might have a leg up here . . . tee-hee!!!

So great to read you LO-LO!!! Thanks for stepping in and giving us a fix!!!

Ooh, it's like having a substitute teacher. A snarky substitute teacher.

I have to admit, when I saw Sam flying -- yep, flying--through that Rubik's cube, it kind of caught me short. I mean, who actually plays with one of those things. And she seemed to be flipping the thing with some degree of knowing what she's doing. Could it be that she's actually....gasp...a geek? I mean she's already shown that she's pretty creative all in all. Bet she was originally scouted for Beauty and the Geek.

But thanks for clearing up why I find myself so fascinated by Analeigh...okay, she may not be some exotic international top model, but she totally sells the sweet but sexy girl next door thing.

Fierce subbing, LoLo! Ab-so-lute-ly stunning.

You had me at screwing the British accent right out of Nigel (add that to the official Nigel Fantasies List).

I like Elina (she's this cycle's Eva the Diva to me). The judges get on my nerves with their same ol' criticism even when it's not accurate anymore. They're complaining about Elina's self control WHILE SHE'S CRYING. She got major points from me when she told them if that's not enough, then she doesn't know what else to do or something like that. Remember the days when Tyra would've given her a counseling session in the back room to make her cry some more? LOL

I Hate HAte HATe HATE Marjorie. Obviously, she's Tyra's fav. There's no other reason for her to still be here. Tyra loves the gawky, awkward girls. Marjorie is this cycle's Heather. Co-signing with you on calling her out on the "fake French insecurities".

It was time for LC to go. She's boring and looks like an alien. Tyra was waiting for one bad pic to justify booting her.

I agree with everyone who's confused about why they keep acting like Joslyn is mediocre. She's been blowing these girls away. Any woman who can photograph that much better than she looks in real life has what it takes to be a good (print) model. If she makes it to the international shoot, I bet she'll be a fav with the photographers cuz of her personality.

Analeigh needs to go. Every week, she's the red herring crying girl who we think is gonna get the boot but is saved with a "great" picture.

Oh yea, I forgot about McKey. I have a feeling she must be really beautiful in person because her pics are just ok to me lately, but the judges love her and the rest of the girls think she's tough competition.

Sam's another one that's been living on borrowed time.

Btw, I saw Tyra in person a little over a week ago and she's...not as big as she looks on TV next to the waifs, which makes me think of how small the models must be in person. Tyra looks to be about a size 8.

I agree absolutely with your assesment of the girls - and you endeared yourself to me forever by Tyra bashing. I can't stand that woman!!

Also, agree about McKey's makeover. I think her haircut is beyond awful.

But I'm over Marjorie. And I can't stand Sam. I liked her at first, but she's really annoying. And WTF was with those stupid fake accents this week? Lame.

And Lauren - I couldn't understand why she wouldn't just actually trip...

I loved the recap, LoLo. I wish the best of luck to Hoolia on her job search, too!

I really really really don't get the Elina love. I don't think she's that stunning, she takes average photos and she makes me think back fondly on crazy Natasha from cycle 8. Remember her? Man, was she a happy person. And anyone that willing to psychoanalize herself and tear her mother to shreds (like saying cool as a cucumber that she "hated her") in front of the cameras is a shameless famewhore. Down with Elina.

Marjorie is a total pill (and yeah, I don't buy the whole "European" thing because I'm a European woman living in the US and I swear I'm not a pain to be around) but she takes good photos. I do think she will be such a bundle of nerves in the commercial next week that she may be the one to go.

I like Analeigh and Joslyn and hope they stick around for a while (although Joslyn's voice, or her nerves about it, may bring her down come commercial time). I hate Samantha's constant look of agony when the photos start getting called out at the end of panel.

I thought McKey looked great in her shoot. I hope she wins it all.

And I can't wait to see Whitney in all her glorious beauty queen fakeness next week! It will be good for a laugh, yay!

LOLO!
You are awesome! And what a treat for you to fill in for Hoolia! I love your recaps! I was laughing out loud reading this!

Marjorie is annoying. She completely gets on my nerves!!! When will the judges see it?! I don't think she's any better than the other girls when it comes to pictures. And regarding her picture in the bathroom, wasn't she supposed to be having trouble getting out of her gown? While creative, the picture didn't really show that.

Anyhoo, I agree with lajane about that Tyra mail photo. When she actually showed up in the outfit, I was like "WHOA!" She looked huge! I, too, had suspected the pictures were photo-shopped. I just didn't realize how severely!

Anyway, I don't have a favorite to win. I think Elina stands out the most looks/photo-wise (she has this intensity in her eyes), but I can't see her winning b/c she comes across as really cold and unfriendly. We all know the bubbly girl gets the prize!

We'll see...

lolo, loved this recap, especially when you gave us your background stats. bang the accent off of nigel, hahaha.

hoolia, gl with the job search!

Hands down, favorite part of the recap, the caption "Elina will queef for the mute"...I'm still cracking up! Great recap!