Sex God or not, I would be SCARED if I saw Nigel walking toward me looking like that screencap.

Wonderful recap as always,it totally made up for having to get up at an inhuman hour on a Sunday.

Classic J-Mo!!
I totally laughed my way through this recap!!

I have to say that I'm going to miss Am I nuts fro. I kind of felt like her new makeover left her looking cheesy and sort of ordinary. Or maybe that was just her personality leaking through this week. Sigh!

Massive fricking hugs,
Yenta

Great recap, as always, J-Mo. That line about Chink really made me laugh. Do you ever go to Sonic and get their coconut creme pie milkshake? It is the OmNomNom.

Oh and did you see the one chick when she described the limo? She said something like... it had colorful stripes. Yeah, honey, it's called PLAID!

Is it just me, or was Jessica not that pretty? She was just attractive and ordinary-looking.
I hope Fo gets over herself, because she looks adorable.

Great recap J-Mo!

When I started reading this there weren't any comments, but by the time I got my old ass through it, there were already four in the queue! I guess I need to re-visit that speed-reading stuff that they tried to teach us in eight grade.

For one, I am glad to see La Flaca go home - her attidute annoyed me and she just didn't have enough shit to back it up. As she was walking out, all I could think of was "jour beeyootiful", thinking how pretty she looked now that she was LEAVING! Woot!

Now let's concentrate on getting rid of Queenie! If all of us clap our hands and say "I believe, I believe" that dream really can come true!

Thanks again for slogging through the shit for us!

Lots O' Love

Ok, I love Tyra and I love ANTM; but, I stopped watching the show after the Whitney cycle. I felt the was losing its energy and hoped Tyra would restrict herself to 1 show a year to retain the magic (while getting a better contestant pool).

But, I feel I have to comment on this cycle. Is it just me or do these women seem slightly unattractive? In the past, I felt the women were still pretty with or without the makeover. However, this season, I couldn't wait until they received one; but, now, I feel the makeovers have made the contestants look worse i.e. poorly executed weaves & dye jobs.

If the women had talent, I'd be fine with it. But, now, I can't wait until the final 5 who will, hopefully, possess a slightly aesthetic appearance and the ability to pose with energy.

I thought Fo's makeover was the most successful one. She must really have some insecurity issues, which is too bad, because she LOOKS better than the rest of the girls now. But I don't foresee her winning this thing when she clearly has to work on her self-confidence.

There's no doubt that La Flaca was sabotaged--probably she brought the same uppity attitude to the makeup and hair people, and the made her PAY.

I agree about the randomness of the judging. I get the same feeling when I'm forced to listen to jazz and the interminable succession of solos that sound pretty much exactly the same. And then people clap and I'm like: "Huh?"

I really hope they'll start letting Anime-Eyes' personality through soon. I get the feeling they're keeping her on the down-low for the moment.

And I like the Jesus Freak's look...as long as they don't let her speak...

I had to look up the phrase 'jump the shark' (hey, I've been out of the country since...well...Fonzie jumped the shark...). Thanks to Wikipedia, I know more than I'll ever need to know about that one.

Who says reality tv isn't edumacational?

I've been thinking that there's not a real talented crop of girls competing for this cycle. Half the girls have such poor or marginal ability that this season is going to be a dud (except for Tyra and Co's quips of how horrible the girls are).

I'm looking forward to the next cycle's 5'7 and under. Maybe that will add some fresh blood to this show.

I laughed so much again, thanks J-Mo. your recaps are awesome.

highlight for me was your sarcastic, "She's right, someone else could have gotten to wear jeans for pre-teens on Wal-Mart.com... that was a close one!"

and your caption to Queenie's "dont get drunk you guys"
"I have crystal-meth in my purse instead, and it'll keep your weight down..."
i laughed so much there, and still am.

and btw, La Flaca in those poses, totally trashy. god i dont even think she is pretty and im glad she got eliminated.

and you transcribe ty-ty crazy speech during makeover was also good. you do it so well, i can even talk like ty-ty.

and FO... god im over her, what a dick. you sign up for the show, ty-ty the head queen cuts your hair, get the fuck over it already.

I actually thought Tyra said "jank" about the weave and I was reminded of Korto.

Did anyone else see the video of ANTM NYC casting that someone said bomb and the whole mass of girls went nuts?

I think Jesus Freak's new makeover makes her look like Duckie... the one who 50 cent pushed in the pool. I think Fo is the prettiest there, but this crying mess has to stop! Anime eyes does take really awesome pictures. I want to not like her, but I can't help it.

And Sandra, let your competition drink... maybe they'll get really hung over and take crappy photos the next day. Or they'll be all raging alky and Tyra will send them home for not being a good role model or something. Plus, it's not like you guys have to drive anywhere, as long as you're of age who cares? I think Sandra's just jealous cause she's 19 and couldn't order a drink herself.

oh and one last thing... Fo gets chewed out for crying over her hair, but they don't say anything to Rich Bitch and flipping out at the idea that they were going to cut hers? Hmm, maybe it was *gasp* staged.

...and welcome to the CW's brand new spin-off series...

Too funny, J-mo, it's exactly what the pic looks like!!! I'm kinda likin' the bitch fest between the two "godesses" I do think Queenie's prettier outside, and Imsonut's is not just prettier,but cooler and down to earth-ier inside.

Trivia . . . who's haircut is on London, exactly the same . . . dun-dun-dun, actually, I bet Tyra has a set of hairstyles with the faces cut out so she can hold them over the headshots and decide--glad she dumped the "tooty" one!!!! I'm tired of the long weaves . . . and Home Girl looks like a tranny . . .

Rich Bitch is invisible to me . . . I'm wondering if she's this years winner who stood out as a model from head to toe--I don't see it, her pic was meh, but I could appreciate her bone structure more in it, and it's haughty like the models always look . . .

Anyhoo, I so agree about this years crop, not really standing out to me. I also think going on this show w/out living in stilettos for two months straight, and strutting your hallway like a mad stalker, and making all your friends shoot you while you play "model" is stupider than going on Survivor w/out studying how to make a fire . . .

Lastly, Prom Queen in that photo was soooo ugly, she looked like miss Jay, I just can't believe she could look that bad, but I did like the barbie arms . . . hee . . .

J-Mo, you've done it again!

****purrrrrrrr*****Nigel******purrrrr*****

Sorry, I was lost in a moment for a minute there!

I used to LOVE watching Star Search! Not the stupid remake version, the original with Ed McMahon. Remember back when Rosie was funny? Ahhhh. The olden days.

SWAK, PottyMouth

La Flaca looked just like Jaslene in her photo and we all remember how everyone on the panel creamed their pants over HER.

Hypocrisy, thy name is Tyra.

I almost forgot!!!

THANK YOU, J-Mo for the Lady Wood-inducing screen cap of Nigel!

"and pee all over everything"

lmfao

anicho01 - totally agree. this season is busted, low-budget and ghetto, and so are the girls. boring.

and nigel will always be the sexiest beast ive ever seen. anyone else have the theory that he picks a favorite girl to bang every season...? jealous.

Lady Wood?

Is that what I think it is?

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHO LOVES YOU J-MO? I DO, I DO! (And yes, it looks like you've made a few Nigelettes very happy indeed.) In return, here's where you can find some video of one of YOUR Sex Gods (if I remember correctly): http:// www.getinstyler.com/ howitworks.html

I think I'll have to demote Blonda Generalísimo from my drag queen to my Star Wars name, and take Fierceling Nigelette for DQ instead...

Boy, was that Wal-Mart spokesmodel challenge sad sad sad. It's like they're not even pretending to be looking for an actual fashion model anymore. Next week they'll put them in bikinis and bus them to the Hoboken Car Show to be "spokesmodels".

Every year I think the makeovers couldn't get any more busted than the year before, and every year they prove me wroooong. Couple of albino barbies? Check. Rosemary's Baby Mia? Check. I love the idea of the hair cutouts, juddfan. You are so right.

Well, we have already had the very predictable "she gave us nothing but pretty" elimination. What a shocker. How long before we get the "she looks too old" elimination (buh-bye, MeeMaw,) the "does she really want this enough" elimination (um... Fo?) and the "she started so strong, but she's backsliding" elimination (GAWD, I hope it will be AnimeEyes - she really does nothing for me, especially now that she looks more than ever like a creepy plastic doll.)

Oh my god the video of all the girls stampeding at the casting is a good time. What actually happened was a car was on fire and someone thought the driver had a gun. At that point someone yelled gun and everyone hit panic. Oh those brainy models.

Ty-ty always makes the girls look worse or older with the makeovers. She does this for the same reason that bride's pick out awful bride maid dresses. So that no one will look better than her.

And I think that Anime eyes, who I want to call Am-I-Nuts eyes, has a future in modeling. Because there is this famous model from Yugoslavia that looks exactly like her.

Oh and some ANTM facts. Why do I know this? Because I am loser with a tv. But there has been a model before that Tyra didn't change their hair. I can't remember which cycle but her name was Heather and she autistic.

Also Miss J always has some zany way of symbolizing the girls that get eliminated. That explains the excitement over the bow tie. One season he wore this jacket that made him look like a general in the army. He had all the girls names written in glittery letters and he would rip them off as the girls were axed.

Nope, nope I don't watch this show religiously or anything.

Great recap, J-Mo! Certainly brought life to this rather boring episode.

They are hardly bothering with the makeovers anymore, are they? These girls needed all the help they could get and what do we have? Jheri curls? Barbie doll wigs, circa 1980? More Mia Farrow hair, complete with weepy idiot crying about losing their locks (and it was the best of the cuts!) And then everyone else was given supermodel-on-the-cheap haircuts. From 1990.

Yikes.

And the Wal-Mart wall? Squeals or delight? These girls need to get out more.

I nearly died when Nigel came out holding the two lighted dildos for their photoshoot. Where were the squeals of delight then? Oh ANTM, you have reached a new low, I thought, shaking my head.

And then they stooped lower and put some of the girls in oh-so-fashionable neon furry vests.

Joy. Adore. My eyes are too scarred to be scared of Anime Eyes this week. Which is a good thing because she came out of her makeover looking like the Bride of Chucky.

Queenie looked like a pint of Guinness, so Happy St Paddy's Day, girl! You get to stick around and drive AmINuts more nuts! Cheers!

LOL, you guy's are all over this stuff! I love it!

kizarny... Shhhhhh! I was trying to sneak in an "unsexy" picture of Nigel, LOL. Glad to help Sunday pass by... xoxo :)

yentapatrol... wouldn't it be awesome if there was a cross-over episode of Real Housewives and ANTM? Sheer heaven on earth. And I totally agree with you, AmINuts' 'fro was fun, now she just looks like a budget version of Naomi Campbell (without the killer cell-phone aim, natch!)... xoxo :)

Snootchy Bootches... OMG, "It is the OmNomNom." is now my new favorite phrase! I will have to try that delight at Sonic, there's one about a mile from my house... xoxo :)

alex_w... I agree with you, I didn't find anything particularly incredibly gorgeous about La Flaca... and I live in a part of the country that is jam packed with pretty Latinas, you really have to have something striking to stand out from the scores of just pretty girls, and I don't believe La Flaca had that quality. And Fo betta pull her head out her ass!... xoxo :)

arizonatom... LOL, yes, I agree, La Flaca looks more and more beautiful as we see the back of her head moving further and further away from us... xoxo :)

anicho01... I can't comment on this cycle's level of beauty in relation to others as I've only casually watched other cycles and immediately forgotten all of the girls... but it's possible this bunch may not measure up looks-wise. For me, though, it really isn't important what they look like, but how wack-job they're going to get, therein lies my fun. Thanks for your insight, though! xoxo :)

Allison... I actually agree with you, I thought they did a good job on Fo Ho, there's a lot they can do with that new style, she just needs to learn to shut her yap a little more... xoxo :)

itchy... LOL, don't feel bad, I didn't know what "jumping the shark" was for a long time, either. I only use it to make it sound like I know something about television (besides how to watch it) otherwise I'm pretty clueless, too. Who knew TVGasm could help us all learn something? LOL! xoxo :)

slutty_whore... aaaaugh, don't give up on the bitches just yet, I'm certain that there is talent for dipshittiness in this group somewheres! We'll find it together! xoxo :)

loopygorilla... LOL, glad you enjoyed the recap, and now we can all impress our friends by speaking like Tyra... except we'll run the risk of being committed to mental institutions for it... be careful! xoxo :)

newcastlefan... You might be right about it being "jank!", although I listened to the clip a zillion times and could have sworn it sounded like "chink!" but I was not aware that Tyra apparently uses "jank" to describe everything and everybody in every situation, how I missed this fact is a tribute to my incredible ignorance of Ty-Ty. Thanks for setting me straight (and the Asian community thanks you as well!)... xoxo :)

cansnuts... right on! Fo needs to shut it! And I agree with you, Rich-Bitch's Bitch-Rich was so totally staged and scripted! xoxo :)

juddfan... chile, I'm hoping for a smackdown between the Queen and the Nuts! Pray it comes to pass! xoxo :)

PottyMouth... Yes, Star Search used to be so much fun to watch, especially the soft-core porn of the "spokesmodels", you know Ed McMahon was having some fierce fantasization going on there! You're welcome for the Nigelpix... xoxo :)

TheVoiceOfReason... Oh. My. I didn't know that such a thing as "Lady Wood" existed (I apologize for my ignorance of the female hoo-hah region, the last time I touched one was on my way out of the birth canal) and I think it's great that the ladies have their own version! xoxo :)

winebag... wouldn't it be funny if Nigel was a BBW/chubby-chaser and all these stick-thin chicas didn't do a thing to arouse him?!?! xoxo :)

sayhuh... OMG, Dean Fuckin' Banowetz! I'm still waiting for Charlie Price to hook me up with him! Thanks for the video link. I also agree with you, things are looking quite sad already, I only hope the girls pull out the crazy when they realize that their dreams are not going to come true even if they "win" on this show!... xoxo :)

areyoucliff... ROTFLMAO, I knew somebody would be able to tell me whether or not someone else was granted the supreme compliment of being told they didn't have to change anything in their look... thank you for that (and LOL at the autistic comment!) OH, and BTW, I totally remember that glitter-name thing! Weird. Thanks for watching obsessively so I can be properly schooled! xoxo :)

jennaboa... LOL, I thought those furry acrylic-fuzz neon vests were pretty rotted, too! The girls just looked like demonic muppets in them! xoxo :)

Thanks guys for all the comments, I love you guys, and a new episode airs tonight, we'll see if they can't make things easier for me and do something more fun than a Wal-Mart challenge, right?

love, J-Mo :)