Alright, so I had kind of forgotten to comment last week regarding "Celia's suddenly a giant bitch" but a friend of mine and I were talking about it (yes, we are that obsessed) and I came to the following conclusion.

It doesn't matter in the LEAST whether or not you want to be there. This competition is designed for modelling. If you're a good model, you'll stay. If you're a bad model, you'll go. That's the way it works.

Kortnie wasn't great. She may have wanted it more, but William Hung also wanted to be a singer...

Get my drift?

I can't understand why these girls don't just shut up and worry about themselves. They don't have to not make friends because it's a competition, but instead of worrying about everyone else's frame of mind, why not just worrying about taking a GOOD picture?

I don't get it. Common sense + modeling seems to be a terribly uncommmon mix.

I dunno, I still like Anime, even though she may be kinda backstabby, and her pictures are the same. Her and Fo are actually the only ones I can really stand this season. AmINuts was okay until this episode, but I couldn't handle the stupid incident; Jesus Freak is boring, which seems totally weird to me; and I can't even remember the rest of them right now.

This cycle is such a snoozefest.

I think that MeeMaw made a granny-ass out of herself for throwing Homegirl under the bus! And I think that Thalia handled their confrontation in just the right way - calmly and drama-free - I was impressed, especially that she is so young. I'm glad that they apparently found an understanding.

But I did have to laugh when you compared Gay Jay pushing the mannequin over to MeeMaw going down the stairs! Great comparison!

The doink-less hair undoubtedly wins on Homegirl. When will girls finally figure out that stupid-looking hairstyles are stupid-looking? Something different is OK, but come one, there are reasons that classic styles stay around for years, while the "avant garde" pass quickly.

If gray signifies maturity and wisdom, I must be really, really old, but also hella-intelligent! Yay for old farts!

Great recap (as always)!

Lots O' Love

I was a bit upset too to see that the house was divided by race. What's that all about?
I agree that Aminat and Tomboy (whatever her name is) was foolish for getting in the middle of not their fight. Thalia is a punk who could have have told them that they did not need to fight her battle.

Oh yeah, I forgot all about that stupid photo shoot. What was that all about? I love Tyra but even this was a bit much. The judging was completely random and I literally yelled, "What the hell?" when Jay M introduced the concept.

Great recap! Darn you though for the Prince reference! My filthy mind keeps bouncing around with "he got her with his purple rain" and breaking into song. Darn you!

Please get off your high horse. Like you've never 'shit-talked' in your entire life. It was pretty bitchy for Celia to step up at panel like that, but there is nothing wrong with talking about something if it bothers you. Have we reverted back to the old days when if you didn't have anything nice to say you wouldn't say it at all? I hope not. Allison was perfectly entitled to talk about her feelings (and she did it a lot less than Homegirl anyways).

I am actually liking this cycle. It may be because I have no effing clue who could win. Week to week it could be anyone for any reason. A few cycles ago I was in an ANTM pool (similar to basketball playoffs but you pick who gets sent home each week and the weeks are assigned points--it was confusing and hard and I didn't win)...ANYWAY I wish we had done it for this cycle. It's all so damn random! Would have been cool to see if I could tap into Tyra's 'inner fierceness'.

I think Tyra was talking about Naomi Campbell at the end. At least, that was my assumption when she ended her tirade.

Have to say I ah-dored Anime's "chicken soup for the teenage soul" observation. Very witty. There are brains behind those vacuous eyes.

Great recap!! Thank you for the abundance of screen caps and the captions. Love!

Ok, J-M0, you better lay off my girl Mee Maw or I am going to have to pull a razor out of my titties and cut your ass, you hear?! She made a mistake and will have to pay for it so give her a break. We have ALL said the wrong thing at the wrong time. And she had to make that mistake on national television. Plus, Mee Maw knows how to dress!

*ahem* Now that we have that out of the way, I can go back to being the charming lady you have come to know and love. *snort*

Great recap. Funny as always. I still think my favorite is Anime. I really hope she can spend some time in the mirror working on some other looks. But even if she got kicked off, I bet she could book quite a few jobs on that one look. She is super cute and seems genuinely sweet the majority of the time.

Speaking of sweet, does anyone else sort of get the bitch vibe from Jesus Freak? Is it the hair, maybe? I never thought that about her at first but now it seems to come to mind immediately.

Lizzie-Borden-meets-Swiss-Miss! LOL! Perfect!

No one takes Mr. Jay seriously? Come on. He's seriously handsome (beautiful, actually), a skilled makeup artist, and uber creative director of all ANTM fashion shoots and runway shows. He's a force to be reckoned with. More people need to recognize him for his supreme talents. (And no, I'm NOT related, LOL)

Completely cracked up at your reaction to MeeMaw remaining in the competition. Too funny!

I thought Tyra was talking about Naomi, too.

J-Mo, You are so Funny!!! There were so many brillant one liners in this recap! Awesome!!! Seriously, I love your recaps!!

Okay now, did anyone notice that when Tyra was introducing the judges, when she was talking about Miss J. Moe's big tie, Keith Major was looking over at Miss J. Moe like W.T.F? (so funny)

I'm with you J-Mo, Rich-Bitch was NOT any better than anyone else in the challenge!!!

And when MeeMaw was telling Homegirl that she didn't mean to hurt her, I was thinking- what was it meant to do, make her feel good?!

And MeeMaw looked like an alien in her picture!! She has no upper lip!

Stupid and bitchy as it was for Celia to rat on Tahlia at Panel, the thing that pissed me off was when she tried to justify her actions. That "it wasn't meant to hurt you" was soooo hypocrital and disingenuous! Besides, she is UGLY. Someone compared her to Martha Plimpton and I agree. She is kinda like her, but not as pretty.

I think the front-runners right now are Fo, London, Teyomboy, and maybe Aminat. Anime (Allison) is too one-note and odd looking. Natalie has a great '30s look about her, but her face is too pie-like.

The ones who caused the rift in the house to be racial were the three backstabbin' white bitches. Kudoes to London and Fo (and even Queenie, to an extent) for staying out of it. Way to make Queenie look relatively sane, girls! That's probably why she got eliminated.

Queenie's a gorgeous girl but I think that she looks better in person than in photos, a fatal flaw for a model.

The rules on this show change from moment to moment depending on Tyra's whims...and I've never understood their criteria for judging.

For example, "Tyra calls her a chameleon." Tyra calls someone a chameleon EVERY year...but sometimes it's a good thing (this year) and sometimes she says being a chameleon means they can't tell what kind of a model someone will be, or can't tell what the model's true personality is. It all depends on whether or not Tyra wants to keep the person whether "chameleon" is a compliment or not.

What I noticed most about the paint shoot is how painfully thin these girls are. Their bones stick out (look at their collar bones) and MeeMaw looked fresh out of a concentration camp as she strolled up to be photographed. Get them each a donut to eat...then force them to sit at the dining table for an hour so they have a chance to actually digest it.

cattyfan, having the rules constantly changing and the mystifying criteria is probably good preparation for the fashion industry itself.

I'm more in line with alex_w's way of thinking: everyone shit-talks sometimes, and everyone risks saying something they shouldn't have, at least, if they have a bit of personality, that is.

So the girls were sitting around talking about how Homegirl said she didn't want to be there? Big deal.

It would have been weird if they said nothing about it. Especially since the only reason she IS there is because of her scars--otherwise, what about her makes her modelish? Sure, she's pretty, but what does pretty have to do with being a model?

I actually had the impression that MeeMaw's actions were of the 'noble if misguided' variety-- that is, she probably believed that she was righting a wrong, and was speaking about it. Wonder Woman vs Injustice, etc.

But as georgiababe points out, this isn't a competition about wanting to be there. So I'd say MeeMaw is more stupid than bitchy.

It doesn't matter, since she's frightful anyway. Although I can see her as a model.

I too was uncomfortable with the sudden shift into black vs white. At least Fo and Jesus Freak stayed out of it.

They show very little of Jesus Freak, which I continue to find weird. And they seem to gloss over the obvious fact that she definitely does not have a model's body -- unless she's going for the plus size business too?

Fo Ho's my favorite--they're starting to show her personality too, which seems to be pretty sharp.

But the only girl I can see making a career at this is AnimeEyes. At least, she's memorable.

This episode was weird. It was a disaster of a challenge. Thank you for pointing out the complete randomness of it. I guess they were trying to see which of the girls worshipped Tyra soooo much that they had studied her photos from the past 15 years. Ridiculous.

Okay, so I researched the Tyra v. Naomi debacle and apparently (according to Tyra, so who knows?), Naomi had Tyra "dismissed" from a few photo shoots that they were supposed to do together. Naomi hated that they were prepping Tyra for "her position" in the modeling world.

Tyra sure can hold a grudge (damn, even after the hug-fest on her show). Watch your back, MeeMaw.

Dear J-Mo,

I'm so glad you called out Tyra on the uber-narcissistic dimension to that first challenge. Seriously WTF? The girls could have been posing at one of the cutout photo booths found at most state fairs.

Normally, I have one or two definite choices that I'm rooting for by now, but this season it feels like none of the women are defined enough to get a clear sense of them.

Your recaps totally make my day : )

Hugs,
Yenta

Pixielated, I'm sorry but I am going to have to call you out on using the term "white bitches" while bemoaning the fact that the house got (temporarily methinks) divided by race. If someone had called AmINuts and Teyomboy "black bitches" there would be accusations of racism all over this comment section. You can't have it both ways.

J-Mo, you have done it again. I got to the picture of MeeMaw's scribbled out face and spit coffee all over my keyboard and monitor. One day my computer's going to run away from home.

I like Anime Eyes the best. I agree that she needs to find more to do with her face, but it's kinda hard to downplay those ginormous eyes! I was really hoping they'd give her red. I think she would have done so much better - she could have imagined it was Bloooooood.

SWAK, PottyMouth

J-Mo,

I have seriously been trying to avoid watching this trainwreck for the past few seasons, but you have brought me back. And I must say, I COMPLETELY agree with every point that you have made!

MeeMaw was totally out-of-line in the last panel and it is disturbing to see how completely delusional some people can be in justifying their behavior. It did not matter what Homegirl was complaining about - it is not Meemaw's call on who goes and stays and who wants to be there. That is Miss Tyra's job. She was not doing it to rectify some great wrong - she was doing it in hopes of getting rid of someone she doesn’t like. If you're so worried about someone winning who you feel doesn't deserve it - TRY TAKING BETTER PICTURES! That’s how you get rid of the competition.

The fighting in the house ended up divided on racial lines because I believe the people that MeeMaw discussed her "plan" with were all one color (except Queenie who really didn't seem to agree with it). And just as she felt that she was justified in making that poorly thought out statement in front of the panel - the other girls felt that it was backstabbing and that they were justified in saying something as well. Except instead of "tattle-telling" to Tyra about it - they took it straight to the source. Which is something MeeMaw probably should have considered first. And kudos to Homegirl for handling it in such a surprisingly mature way. I found it funny that the youngest member of the group acted in the most mature manner while the oldest (and several others) felt that she had to resort to behaviors that most of us stopped after middle school.

Also, that challenge was completely random and stupid and close to impossible to get right.

Wow, snootchy, I find this is the one place in the world where all the races are subject to mockery without it involving prejudice, which is one thing that I'm extremely sensitive about, and white bitches just slid by me like nothing.

I confess, I did miss the beginning of this epi, and forgot till I read this, so I'll have to go back. There's been worse racial stuff on past cycles for me . . . who was it, Hannah!?

Wow, that apple face on Rich Bitch . . . and here I thought she was the one they were gonna stuff down our throats, oh well, and Queenie, once again, physically she's gorgeous and the most modelesque, but I think she's short in the thinking deeply dept, and grossly over confident to her detriment! Hope she watches and comes down a notch, and works on her chops . . . but can I say, "SHOCKED" that she's gone . . . utterly "SHOCKED"

It may have been me who said Martha Plimpton, coz I've been thinking it and who knows what ends up blathered here, but she is no way near as pretty as Queenie, tho she seems to have good model chops . . . oh hell, whatta I know . . . I ain't no model. . .

Anyhoo, I can't tell whose gonna win this one, but I think Fo's got a huge shot. I'd say Animat, but I just don't feel it with her look, the body is great tho. I also like London, and I don't think they give her enough credit, that wasn't the same face as she did before, she kinda looked like a dead frozen Charlize in her shot, is it me!?

One thing I do know is I loves me some J-mo!!! Sorry to hear about Granny, it's sad how backward the older generations are when it comes to us sistahs! Hope she saw your show from heaven and has realized her mistakes . . . hope that came out right . . . xoxoxoxo

Well, while the white girls were doing their bitchy white girl thing, the black girls were doing their bitchy black girl thing, so I'd say they're pretty much even on the reality show stereotyping level....the only one who came out looking good was Homegirl.

Even though, let's face it, she's this year's pre-op transexual. There's no way she can or should win this.

And Queenie is definitely guilty of stirring the pot. She knew what she was doing. Oh yes she did.

Personally, I'd prefer more time with the Spunky Fo Ho. In red, of course.

georgiababe... Let me add something to your equation: "Common sense + Modeling = Unicorns" Hopefully this helps demystify things (a teensy bit). xoxo :)

LAjane... sadly, I think you're right, maybe the Cycle Of The Little People will prove more intriguing. xoxo :)

arizonatom... it still amazes me how tenacious some hairstyles hang on (like that damned fauxhawk!) Then again, remember in the 70's when lots of white people had afros? When are they going to bring those back? xoxo :)

rungirl73... I too was disappointed that Homegirl didn't tell Nutsy and Teyomboy to take a step back, but perhaps she was intrigued to see them go off as well. xoxo :)

kizarny... having grown up in Minneapolis during the 80's I pretty much think of Prince whenever I see anything purple. At least she wasn't wearing a Raspberry Beret! xoxo :)

alex_w... But I love my high horse, her name is Picklez and I ride her everywhere! And of course I shit-talk, that's kind of the whole point of TVgasm... but rest-assured, if I were to ever be confronted on the street by any one of these people I've said shit about I would at least own up to it... and then I would run away as fast as my fat legs could carry me. Thanks for weighing in, though. xoxo :)

silver... Thanks, I'm glad you like the myriad of pictures, that's part of the reason why this show takes me a while to put out. xoxo :)

Snootchy Bootches... You're right, MeeMaw knows how to dress, and if she backs off the bitchy behavior and keeps her head low, I may be able to leave her be... at least I'll try... however, you know I really can't promise anything... If Jesus-Freak were living up to her promise and attempting to hold a revival in the Runway Room and preaching incessantly I'd be all over her, but she's been strangely absent. We'll see what happens this week. xoxo :)

xqzmoi... You'll get no argument from me about Gay-Jay's beauty, but... ever notice how often he will say someone does a good job at their photo shoot and then the Judges all hate the outcomes? And vice-versa (some of the girls he hates wind up near or at the top)? Plus, silver-purple hair? That right there is kinda cred-killing. But he shore is a pretty pretty man! xoxo :)

LisaMay... being of an alien race might explain a lot about MeeMaw. Perhaps she's Tenctonese or something. I could totally see her bald with a spotty scalp! xoxo :)

pixielated... I hadn't heard the Martha Plimpton comparison! Or maybe I just missed it. I think Martha is prettier, though. xoxo :)

cattyfan... I think your examples of Tyra's inconsistencies are right on! And amen on the stick-thinness of this group, seeing most of them looking so emaciated is making me hungry and I think I'm gaining weight from watching this show! xoxo :)

itchy... I'm with you on loving Fo Ho, that red picture was at least interesting, and now that she seems to have gotten over her hair trauma perhaps she might make it far after all. xoxo :)

texasgal75 (and silver and xqzmoi)... thanks for the info on the Tyra vs. Naomi thing. Ty-Ty must still be a tad bitter about it if she's still bringing that shit up (and I'm sure it's not like shitty stuff like that doesn't happen in the modelling world every day, I bet Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford and Janice Dickinson had their share of threatening upstarts kicked off of various shoots, too!) xoxo :)

yentapatrol... honey, you called it, they're all just kinda boring, I can't really say for sure who might win, either. At least there was a bitchfight to watch this week! xoxo :)

Pottymouth... I've done the same thing with some of your screencaps of Prettygirl and Robert over at Hell's Kitchen! xoxo :)

Y3KPhenom... you know, I think you might be right about the racial division... it just seemed kinda weird that that was how things ended up (and I'm not saying that's right, I only commented on it because of it's oddity). xoxo :)

juddfan... well, thanks, sugarpie... see, my MeeMaw liked to talk shit behind my back, too! It must run in the family. xoxo :)

Thanks for all the feedback, I appreciate everyone taking time to comment, even if you disagree with me, that's the beauty of the interwebs in America!

love, J-Mo :)

OMG, i am one of the few who side with meemaw on this. lol
but yeah look homegirl handled it well, but lets face it she isnt a model...
and um when are they gonna do a swimsuit photoshoot ?? shit last cycle when tyra was trying to get rid of isis, there were three swimsuit photoshoot?
the thing about meemaw, i agree with itchy, she wasnt bitchy probably just stupid. hello episode one, he said Tyra is an entity, she is an Extra Terrestial!! then flips her head like she just had an orgasm! the woman is crazy and me likes crazy!
but what is with teyomboy climbing the stairs? lol bitch looked stupid and aminuts is fucking nuts! if it wasnt for the camera, you know she would have torn rich bitch limb to limb. AND LOL at the gloryhole face.
and jesusfreak is not a model, she fucking pulls the same face and they dont say anything about cuz her eyes are huge like anime.
and i love anime, chicken soup for the teenage soul, can we be best friends? lol
i got nothing on fo, shes pretty but yeah ... nothing else..meh
um queenie! im SAD..awww i liked the weekly serve of all bran delusional-ness.
and gay jay says keith major and him go way back, wonder what that means?
and finally Clay next week! he is probably picking another surrogate for his babey!
and is it just me, or nigel barker is getting more annoying and can they replace paulina already, she is sooo dull.
oh by the way, australia's next top model is starting this month. and all our girls are twigs! and our shit is uncensored and bitchyness is prerequisite.

and finally THANKS J-MO even if we are split about Meemaw, i still love ya :P cuz ure on fi-ya-ah and your my di-za-yaH.

Please to enjoy a tidbot from the internetz about Allison/Anime/Samara:

www (DOT)mamapop (DOT)com/mamapop/2009/03/a-love-letter-t (DOT) html#more

Hey is it too late to get in on this one, because this espisode was a gigantic fudgesicle of quality crap TV.

First of all god bless MeeMaw for her selfless dedication at poop stiring last week to give us something to talk about this week. If for no other reason then it gave the long overdue Aminuts tirade the shred of dignity it wouldn't have had if she'd gone off on someone for taking that Tic Tac she was saving for breakfast.

And gold stars to all the producers for coming up for the most arbitray competition yet. I say they go with it and next week have the girl's try to make whatever facial expression Tye-Tye is at that very moment across town. (Note to MeeMaw, just stick with bowel movement, she's bound to be doing it at least once in the segment.)

And yea again for arbitray competetions because they're easy to rig so Rich Bitch can keep winning them. Does her dad own Bravo? That's the only explanation I can see for a model who looks like she's barely awake at all times.

And a super sad panda face for Queenie, who got totally jacked when the judges kept MeeMaw's Zippy the Pinhead butt around for her much needed poop stiring abilities. Well at least Queenie can return to her steady day job, being the Go-dess of her own mind.

Loved the lucha libre reference J-Mo but can't help noticing what this show is lacking, midgets wrestling in masks.

Great Job, keep them coming!