¡Buenos Nachos, mijas y mijos! Can you believe we're halfway done with this cycle already? If you've been actually watching the show, I'm sure you've had a few moments here and there where you had to wonder to yourself "What in the blue fuck just happened? That shit made no sense!" (and like me, you probably said it to yourself most often during the completely insane critique sessions at the Judges Panel). Well, it's lucky for us they have some "unseen footage" to share with us that might shed some light on some things...
...and our favorite crazybitch Queenie is baaaaack!...
Normally I hate "clip-shows" that just recycle the cycle, but there are actually a few tidbits on this "rewind" episode of America's Next Top Model that you might find interesting, especially in regards to some of the editing that a few of these people received (Queenie herself has a royal revelation you won't want to miss) so let's take a brief journey back into time after the jump...
Already this cycle we've been privy to the Battle of the Go-Desses (I still miss you, Hood-Rat!), Wars of Walking the Runway, and who could forget the Big-Ass Backstabbing Bitchfest? Ahhh, good times.
Remember back in Las Vegas when we were first treated to Anime-Eyes' anime eyes?...

..."Bloooooood! I vaaaant your bloooooood!"...
*sigh* I had so many hopes for this girl to be a giant wack-job creeping out all the other girls in the house by stealing their used tampons for playtoys. Instead, she's become a (mostly) sweet nice girl whose wild ocularity has been totally tamed by makeup!
Ah, but someone who did deliver on their first impression was our beloved Hood-Rat Angelea, who definitely had no shortage of (seriously misplaced) self-assuredness, "Dese girls ain't bringin'! I've got dat confidence. Dey're skerd and dey're intimidatet by me! I woulbe too, if I was dem lookin' aa me, shoot!"...
...In Memory Of Hood-Rat: Episode 1 - Episode 1...
It seems as though Hood-Rat's feud with the O.G. (Original Go-Dess) Queenie really kicked into high gear right after they met with Tyra for the first time and Queenie jumped in front of her to get Ty-Ty's attention. Later on, most of the girls were sitting around chatting and getting to know one another when out of the blue Hood-Rat threw down her Ho-Length-Lee-Press-On Gauntletâ„¢! "I'm sittin' up here, right? Y'all sittin' here actin' like dis is juss buddy-buddy type-friend all-type, y'knowhaI'msayin'?" No, I don't have a fucking clue what you're sayin', but i loooove the way you say it, girl!
Queenie jumped in saying "It's not about friendships, sweetie.", which only served to put her in Hood-Rat's cross-weaves, "No, you rubbed me de wrong way when we wuz out there! You rubbed me de wrong way!" Oooh, Queenie had stood up and actually told Hood-Rat to "Talk. To. The. Hand." I didn't know anybody even said that anymore! How 90's! Even better, Hood-Rat actually slapped her hand down (instead of talking to it as directed)!
In one of her first interviews, Rich-Bitch calls them both catty, and says "I knew Angelea was gonna back herself up because she's definitely the girl I could kinda tell who doesn't take any stuff from anyone."...
...especially not hair and makeup tips...
For everyone who thought MeeMaw was unfairly branded a tattler, here's an intriguing scene that we never got to see. It seems her first time in front of the panel in Vegas she was very free with her opinions and judgments regarding the other girls. To be fair, Ty-Ty was totally egging her on, but here's what she had to say about her competition:
Hood-Rat: "She needs a makeover... starting here." [wiggles fingers] She goes on to interview that the first words out of Angelea's mouth to her were "If you cross me, I'll cut you." Well, why do you think she keeps them nails so long?
Anime-Eyes: "Doe eyes. Big lips. Not much personality, but we could work on that."
Rich-Bitch: "So tall, thin, beautiful... borrrr-ing!"
Queenie: "She gets up on that runway... I'm like, 'Girl, what are you doing? Have you not been practicing this since you were like, in the fetus? No? Really? I have!'"...
..."and I haven't been a fetus for fifty or sixty years!"...
I'm not saying that any of the shit she was talking was wrong... most of it was dead-on... but I think it sheds an interesting light on why she may have (mistakenly) felt that it she had carte-blanche to speak her mind to Tyra last week.
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Comments (12)
What, no comments yet?
Well, I almost didn't watch this one either, since it's a recap episode. But I had work to do, so I needed something on in the background. And this one had the merit of actually showing lots of new stuff--and especially scenes that are kind of important for the rest of the show (which makes you wonder why they didn't show them on the episodes themselves?).
Weird how there's practically nothing at all about Jesus Freak there. I'm guessing she's smart enough not to provide any reality tv material.
Fo's a very cute crier. She'd definitely win every argument we'd have together.
AnimeEyes seems to have the same vaguely absent personality as McGee. So I pick her to win this thing.
I can't help liking MeeMaw...don't know why. I'm certain she was one of the popular girls who (tried to make) my life miserable in high school (didn't work, I was too wacked out). But I still can't help liking who she is...and if 15-year-olds can make a career modeling clothes for 30-year-old women, then a 25-year-old should be able to make a career for the 50-year-old set, right?
1 of 12 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 15, 2009 11:56 PM
I'm confused, when did this episode air???? I can't believe I missed it.
2 of 12 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on April 16, 2009 6:27 AM
LisaMay, I think this one aired right after the regular episode. I didn't watch it because it was up against Lost and (I think) Bones and there's only so much my DVR can handle, and enough already anyway, and in any case it will be a million times better when what I get is something that has been through J-Mo's wringer. More after I actually read it!
3 of 12 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on April 16, 2009 9:52 AM
I missed this too, in utter unawared's, but I'm oh so happy to see it all through J-mo's trusty eyes!!!
After last night's new epi, i'm more confused than ever . . . good to have Queenie back for a day, hee, I still think she was the most modelesque in look, maybe in the real world she'll get some work since she's not being edited into a stupid sounding biotch!!! I feel like I'm defending her, but alas, I'd have to care for that!
Have fun J-mo, we'll miss ya!!! xoxoxo and thanks for the tasty and witty bon mot!
4 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 16, 2009 3:39 PM
I tried to comment last night, Itchy, but I had an early onset senior moment and briefly couldn't remember my password.
I can understand why Tyra egged Meemaw on in trashing the other girls and then shut her down at the panel. The first time, it was general bitchery, which Tyra is always up for, where in the second instance, Meemaw was inserting herself into the 'sacred' judging process. Also, it's one thing to trash your competition behind their backs and another to do it in front of them. That's the whole basis of gossip!
Wow, Meemaw looked better with long hair. I thought that in the posing challenge but this picture just reinforces it.
I wish they'd shoot Anime-eyes in profile for a change; that might give her a different "look." Also, she should show more of that saucy bitchiness that she has in the interviews in her photo shoots.
I like Fo and Teyomboy. Fo is actually much prettier, but Teyomboy will probably win.
5 of 12 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 16, 2009 6:17 PM
Please to enjoy a tidbot from the internetz about Allison/Anime/Samara:
www DOT mamapop DOT com/mamapop/2009/03/a-love-letter-t DOT html#more
6 of 12 | Posted by TheVoiceOfReason | Posted on April 16, 2009 6:31 PM
Strangely enough, Rich Bitch actually makes the Great Wall look pretty comfy.
Moving on - I hadn't realized just how deep into her nose Queenie was until you slowed it down a little. Plus, the look on her face is pretty priceless. She's *loving* the nose-picking.
7 of 12 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on April 16, 2009 6:40 PM
Thanks for giving that link voiceofreason! Actually, the snarkier Anime gets the more I like her. She's definitely my favorite contestant.
8 of 12 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on April 16, 2009 6:45 PM
J-Mo: You do such a great job on these recaps!! I couldn't even get through eating my dessert b/c I was laughing so hard! And NOTHING comes in between me and my banana pudding!
I almost didn't watch this Cycle Rewind, but in the end I did. Did anyone else notice that when they recapped the elimination ceremonies, Tyra's opinion of different girls changed? Most noticeable was Anime Eyes. How many times have they complained she gives one face? Especially the last week with the pink paint all over her face. But in the cycle rewind, Tyra just said it came out beautiful. It seemed like she was re-writing history so that when the winner ends up being someone they previously trashed, viewers won't cry foul! But people will cry foul anyway b/c this show is rigged and most people probably didn't see the rewind since it aired right after a new episode.
9 of 12 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on April 16, 2009 6:48 PM
J-Mo you are awesome,
I loved the Anime Eyes cap!! Thanks for recapping the recap epi and managing to make it fun : )
What? No pics from Pride? Sigh!
Heart,
Yenta
10 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on April 17, 2009 1:45 PM
I didn't know this was on either! Well, it's a win/win for me. I didn't have to sit through it, and I didn't have to sit through it. We all know your recap was FAR better than watching it.
How lucky can a girl get?
J-Mo, I second Yenta's question - where are the pix from Pride? Puh-lease?
SWAK, Pottymouth
11 of 12 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on April 18, 2009 9:11 PM
Great recap J-Mo!
Although this epi was filled with a lot of what we already saw, it was nice to see some of the stuff that ended up on the cutting room floor - makes it easier to understand some of what we have seen.
Looking forward to the end of this train wreck!
By the way, for the non-Phoenicians, Pride is currently taking place (Sat 4/19-Sun 4/19) so after performing, J-Mo probably hasn't had time to come home from the bar yet. I am sure he'll post pics in the next few days. (I'm just taking a break from the sun and sweat to relax a bit in the A/C - this is Sun and the last I saw it was 96 degrees! Not the 115 we're used to in the summer, but still a bit too early to be that hot!
Lots O' Love
12 of 12 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on April 19, 2009 3:29 PM