More insane praise, Sex-God thinks she took a daring risk by putting her armpits directly towards the camera, he says that "works" for him. The Schnozz agrees with Sex-God (natch!) and likes the "major strength" that MeeMaw is displaying in her pose. Of course, Miss J.Moe has to be the bitchy one and point out that while her face looks great, "It just doesn't look like a spring chicken!" I hope next week's bow-tie covers his entire face.
Tyra claims she chose this as MeeMaw's best shot because it reminded her of a fellow judge's bone-structure in the cheeks...
...which is weird, because the only similarity I see here in their cheek bones is the fact that they each have two of them...
I'm not sure if Tyra's trying to zing Porizkunty or what, but if she really wanted to piss her off she should have pulled out all the stops and said the two of them look like sisters. Anyhow, Ty-Ty once again crows about MeeMaw's newfound "fresh" factor, and says it was a pleasure to work with her. I bet MeeMaw brought cookies to the shoot and "accidentally" left them in Tyra's line of sight.
Last up today is our poor bridesmaid AmINuts, and her shot turned out very interesting as well...
...I had to play "Where's Waldonuts?" to even find her in it!...
Still more lavishly glowing reviews, Sex-God calls it exquisite and beautiful and transcendent and antidisestablishmentarianistic, Schnozzie says Nutsy used all of her strengths from the body to the face...
...she looks like she's reading the last line on the eye-exam chart at the DMV...
Of course, Porizkunty has to disagree, saying she doesn't think AmINuts' body looks all that hot in this picture. Miss J.Moe starts up with that cooing bullshit again and I refuse to transcribe it, so fuck him, his critiques are pointless anyways. Once the room has recovered from his comedy gold, Tyra says Nutsy surprised her... every week she's seen her have zero strength in the face, "But when I shot you, you came alive!" See? Tyra thinks she's Jesus again!
Time for deliberation, and Miss J.Moe says that because it's crunch-time they're going to "start nit-picking"! I thought they started that 11 weeks ago, but anyhow...
Anime-Eyes: "Looks fantastic as a baby bird!" and "She's figured out how to use her softness to stand out from the crowd!" and "She has that eternal youth feeling!"
Teyomboy: "She's getting a little complacent." and "There wasn't the magic and the fire that I wanted from her."
MeeMaw: "I love her style!" and "This girl knows her angles!" but "The mouth is dead-awkward!" and "I could see her becoming America's Next Top Mother!" (guess which bitch threw that one out there!)
AmINuts: "She doesn't just have a body, she is The Body!" but "The light doesn't hit the features in her face in a way that is photogenic."
And the best picture of the week belongs to... ANIME-EYES!!! But of course, because psychotic murderous owls beat out most other birds every time. In second place this week is Teyomboy, who makes her huge PoliDent grin again and breathes a sigh of relief, right before she starts crying. Affecting concern, Tyra wants to know why, and Teyomboy can barely choke out an answer that she felt like the other girls were stronger than her this week and she was afraid she was going to be in the Bottom Two.
Of course, in this week's Bottom Two are AmINuts (for the third time!) and MeeMaw (also for the third time!). Tyra says they both have "strength from the neck down". She spouts some more of that "mathematics of the face" crap in Nutsy's direction and tells MeeMaw the judges wonder if her face is "too mature for the modelling industry" stopping juuuuuust short of calling her The CryptKeeper.
So the girl going home this week... is MeeMaw! AmINuts is relieved and dutifully listens as Tyra blabs a bunch of gibberish about how she needs to "get in that mirror and figure out the angles of your face that hit the light in a way that makes magic!"...
...and while you're at it, Nutsy, why don't you also figure out how to create wormholes in the space-time continuum using only the power of thought, K?...
Meanwhile, Ty-Ty's basically doing everything in her power to steer MeeMaw out of modelling and into some other facet of the fashion industry, telling her she could be a designer or fashion editor or stylist (Porizkunty wants to hire her! Wouldn't it be fun to work for P'kunty?) but to her credit, MeeMaw handles it all like a pro and doesn't give in to what is surely an overwhelming urge to slap Tyra silly.
Of course, Anime is absolutely heartbroken...
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Comments (15)
Great recap, J-Mo!
I was so surprised AmINuts actually made it to the final 3. Really? She's mastered "one face" WAY more than Anime, not to mention she's been the least consistent contestant out of the bunch.
But the funny thing is...there's thoughts that she might actually win the competition. Why? Because she's most likely to bring something to Covergirl among herself, Anime, and Teyomboy, and because she'll be a knockout on the runway if she makes it that far. And, since many people have agreed that recent winners have sucked, it would only follow suit that AmINuts would take the cake. Does anyone else think it's an actual possiblity? Because the whole cycle I thought Teyomboy had this in the bag, but now? It might just happen...lol.
1 of 15 | Posted by Phlip | Posted on May 10, 2009 6:30 PM
I think Aminuts is awesome. So what if she has just one face? It worked for Tyra and many others.
I think Meemaw had a better shot than Teyomboy this week. Actually, so did Aminuts.
I still think it'll be Anime. Do you notice how when Anne "The Schnozz" is a judge, the little gal does better? She is sure fire gold for Seventeen--she is all soulful and vampire-y like the teenage girls love. Don't most teenage girls want to have huge eyes and be all "alas fair maiden-y"? That's my take, anyway.
Mr. Jay should be on the panel instead of Miss Jay. BTW I loved Mr. Jay's seen-it-all attitude with Tyra. That guy is used to working with models!
2 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on May 10, 2009 7:37 PM
gosh you guys got in earlier!
Thanks j-mo for the recap, awesome again.
i laughed all the way through.
specially the moth scene, if you watch the gif over and over again, it looks like tyty is opening mouth to bite of gay-jay's mini gay-jay.
thats the close a girl has ever gotten to his crotch.
second, fuck porizcunty wow, that critique of celia at the class, omg harsh..i actually felt really really bad for celia at that point.
and dont worry about the man boobs thing last week, it was funny and i liked the caps. especially when nigel put his hand on the guy's man boobs and you highlighted the extra excited penis bump. ROFL
i have a feeling teyona will win, but i dont think she is that special. i still dont see it. i actually think aminuts is amazing looking in person, but somehow in photos she just doesnt look good. but she is amazing, stunning body, perfect boobs, omg i cant believe i said that! LOL
alison is cute and it was really the best exit ive ever seen, alison was crying awwww....
and the prizes?! hahaha i laughed too, they look like the stuff i can get at my saturday crafts market where hippy women sell stuff from the trunk of their car.
and i love schozzie... she is the love of my life! oh ... she really makes a gay guy's day! she does.. the schozz..oh the beauty and the urban dance hip moves.
but seriously though, the challenges are becoming more ridiculous. samba dance moves = bird colorful photoshoot? aaahhh ok....? and why did they go with all that makeup only to tone it down to dull tones?
but hay do you notice most of tyra's photographer shoots in most cycles she does with girls are BLACK and WHITe or DULL TONES and she always gives them dark eye makeup???
its cuz bitch cant shoot in color!!! she can't capture shit on color, so she dulls it and gives dark eye makeup to make it look edgy. ill try to remember all the shoots for.
1. caridee cycle, it was just Eye makeup and face shot. 2. jaslene cycle, same thing again. 3. whitney cycle, the over the top shoot where dominique looked like cruella deville. 4. mykey cycle.
anyway i cant be fucked remembering them all..but yeah tyra doesn't shoot in color!
3 of 15 | Posted by loopygorilla | Posted on May 10, 2009 8:42 PM
Does anyone else think that Alison's photo had the EXACT SAME FACE as she always does?
And not a peep from the judges!(haha, birds) But I mean, what else have we come to expect? Urgh.
I don't think Aminat deserves to be the top three - I thought Celia has been more consistent. However, I don't think either of them could/will win. I think it's definitely between Teyona and Alison and I think Teyona might take it, but I'm not sure.
I honestly do not even care.
4 of 15 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 10, 2009 10:47 PM
I'm not sure why anyone would expect consistency from a fashion-oriented tv program. I mean, isn't fashion all about fickleness?
I always enjoy watching my wife run to catch up with the latest 'style trends' (here in France, it's de rigeur).
My favorite was from a couple years back when they convinced the entire female population here that wearing slacks cut off just above the ankles was 'in.' Of course, it only confirms my suspicion that the fashion industry is run by misogynists.
This year they're packing the French gals (who are starting to resemble American women more and more every year, and not in a good way) into skin tight stretchy pants. Ha!
No doubt they gave the win and the jewelry to MeeMaw to soften the blow of calling her a dried-up old hag and sending her home.
I like Aminuts though, at least her personality wise. But keeping her in the final four is the same thing as automatically assuming that a tall black guy is going to be good at basketball.
And AnimeEyes is looking awful pale n' pasty n' puffy lately.
Oh yeah, I started watching the Australian version of this show (yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a reality show addict, go on witcha), and I have to say that all of the girls on that show are actually pretty and look like models - even the ones they kick off are even more model-pretty than these four. Maybe girls are just healthier down under?
5 of 15 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 11, 2009 12:21 AM
What Paulina said to MeeMaw at the challenge was terrible!! We can talk about her here behind her back, but DON'T be ugly to her face!!
And AmINuts photo was hideous!! She looked like a monster! An alien monster.
Did anyone notice that Teyomboy did NOT say "I thought I was going home" at panel. She just said "I thought I would be in the bottom two".
I think it's pretty evident now that Teyomboy is winning this. I mean, no way can they give it to Anime Eyes with her runway walk being what it is. By the way, why isn't Anime trying to learn to walk in her spare time? Mee Maw could have been trying to help her......
6 of 15 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on May 11, 2009 7:45 AM
I gave up when Rich-Bitch got kicked off...no more ANTM for me but I will definitely read the recaps! LOVE YOU J-Mo.
It's the same shit every "cycle", someone is too old, too short, too one-note but they still make it far enough until their "issue" makes it convenient to kick them off. Aminat has been in the bottom two at least 4 times so that is total BS that she is still there. And what was the point of putting their nests in completely different places when all you saw was the nest and not the surrounding area. And, wow, loopygorilla, I never noticed it before but I totally see about the Tyra shoots. Only in B/W!
7 of 15 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on May 11, 2009 10:39 AM
" What's even more disheartening to me is that she understands the definition of a complex word like "dichotomy", but doesn't seem to get that "second runner-up" is actually third place."
J-Mo this one had me laughing for the rest of the post, thank you.
8 of 15 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on May 11, 2009 1:07 PM
J-Mo, as usual you had me rolling on the floor. It started with Chicky, chicky tomb = a visit to the McNugget Factory. And quite frankly never stopped. Holy Shit!
Loved the Clueless reference - I love that movie so much.
I can't believe it all ends this week. **single tear**
SWAK, PottyMouth
9 of 15 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on May 11, 2009 1:13 PM
J-mo, OMG, Hysterical!!! The whole thing is great, and too many to quote, but I died at this: ..."Why couldn't it be a soulless staring contest, instead?"...
So, seeing you apologize (isn't that unheard of here!? ) for capping the Brazilian Bear made me go and re-read the comments, and I didn't see anyone complain . . . hmm . . . since I mentioned it favorably, I hope you didn't misread what I said, you know I loves me some men with girth, and heck, it may not be for everyone, but how many times do you even have the chance to indulge . . . BE YOURSELF
Good point about Aminuts, itchy, and frankly, I'd have never guessed these 3 at all . . . but the winner is always the one who pulls off the close up cover girl shot . . . if it looks hot--like Whitney's or Mckey's, then we'll know--the walk is secondary, I think, coz that pic will be published. I imagine the commercial is also crucial, but if that was the case, Fo would be in and last season the chick with the best commercial ever (anna somthing?) would have won. Call me crazy, but Teyona's got this one-and second, who knows . . .
Can't believe this is ending either--what's next for you J-mo?
10 of 15 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 11, 2009 2:33 PM
hurray Itchy! yes you are watching AusNTM.
yeah our girls are more modelesque and tonight is Make OVER NIGHT! yay..cant wait.
11 of 15 | Posted by loopygorilla | Posted on May 11, 2009 7:34 PM
"Are the stupid antics of Miss J. annoying you as much as they are me?" Why yes, yes they are. I kind of wanted to strangle him with his stupid bow-tie mid-chirp.
And has Teyona always spoken solely in choppy ghetto-speak? Did I just not notice it?
12 of 15 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on May 12, 2009 7:11 AM
Phlip... you might be right, it wouldn't be out of the range of possibility for Nutsy to take the whole thing. I'm going to be curious to see if she's still besties with Teyomboy if she doesn't win, though! *snicker* xoxo :)
pixielated... I think you're right, too, Schnozzie loooooves her some weird-ass Anime-Eyes. But seriously? How many Halloween issues can Seventeen Magazine, do in one year? xoxo :)
loopygorilla... LOL, I'm glad you like manboobs, too! And I wasn't aware that Tyra doesn't shoot in color on her turns, I thought it was a waste of makeup and feathers (way to be green Miz Banks!) but it makes more sense, she probably doesn't have the skills to carry off taking color pictures, and B/W or sepia would forgive a lot of that. Also loved the "saturday crafts market where hippy women sell stuff from the trunk of their car" thing, that's a great visual! xoxo :)
georgiababe... THANK YOU, that's EXACTLY what has been making me feel stabby this entire cycle, Anime trots out that same damned face in every picture... or they pick the same damned face in every picture, and it's just insane! I'm with you, I'm kinda meh on whoever wins this cycle. xoxo :)
itchy... I totally know what you mean about fashion being fickle, and I'm used to that, however, my consistency complaint is in regards to the non-fashion related-aspects of this show... such as people who don't seem to remember the things that have come out of their own mouths. That's mostly related to the judges and their insane critiques, but for MeeMaw to suddenly claim that she "loved" her beach photo after she almost got sent home for it (and she agreed with them that she fucked it to pieces) just rubbed me the wrong way, I don't like when people try to rewrite history like that, especially when it's caught on video. I wish I could get the Australian version here, but I can't afford satellite TV on what I make. :( xoxo :)
LisaMay... that's exactly why Paulina immediately became Porizkunty. That was just plain mean of her to say (especially when she was looking so haglike that day herself). I dunno why Anime doesn't practice walking more, but if she's one of those people with no natural grace then those skills may ALWAYS elude her. xoxo :)
Yanksfan24 Awww, well shucks, love you too! Sorry your favorite got booted, but I'm sure Rich-Bitch will be visible soon... standing next to cars in your local AutoTrader ads... xoxo :)
waffleboy09... honeychile, I must confess, the only reason *I* know that second-runner-up is third place is because I go to a lot of drag-queen pageants and I'm familiar with placings, LOL! love to you! xoxo :)
PottyMouth... sugarpie, I'm going to cry exactly one tear at 8pm tonight as well, and then I'll be doing the happy dance cuz this will be the last recap on this cycle! P.S. "Oooooh, Snickers!" xoxo :)
juddfan... LOL, truthfully, the apology was just my lead-in to this week's episode... let's face it, fat people are funny, and fat people in speedos are comedy gold so there was no way I wasn't using BrazilloBear as much as possible last week (I wonder if he was related to the Schnozz, though, he had a helluva honker on him, didn't he?). I'm proud to be a chubby-chaser (mostly) so I will always screengrab the fat guys when they come along, never fear! xoxo :)
LAjane... sweetiedarlin', I am SO glad that I'm not the only one who is completely and totally and utterly through with Miss J and her fucked up pseudo-asian wig and the fucking bow ties and the bitchy weight/age comments and the fucking cooing bullshit. Other than the ONE episode where he worked with the girls on their walks, he's been completely useless this entire cycle, and personally I think the fact that Anime still can't walk worth a fuck should be directly blamed on him for not taking time out to work with her intensely on it. He's been too busy throwing old and fat and ugly stones from inside his glass fucking house. That bitch. HATE. But I love you for sharing with me. xoxo :)
Thanks again guys for all the commentary, tonight's the final episode, and then I'll be taking a break from recapping for a bit, but I'll be back, you just never know where...
love, J-Mo :)
13 of 15 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on May 13, 2009 12:37 PM
This is the first episode I watched this cycle, and if I bring up a question that's been mentione 1,000 times, please forgive me.
But does anyone else think that Animat is the SPITTING image of Danielle Evans, C6? But with less personality & one basic look.
I would think that would harm her chances.
14 of 15 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 13, 2009 6:48 PM
hutchlover, I am not versed enough in this show to respond off the top of my head, so I did a trusty google search for Danielle Evans and looked closely at a few pictures... and I DO see some similarity with Aminat, but actually I think Danielle is far prettier... I'll have the finale recap posted soon!
15 of 15 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on May 15, 2009 10:57 AM