Hey guys!

So I always refrain from reading any other site's ANTM recaps until after I've posted my own to a) avoid spoilers since I recap "live" as I watch the episode and b) avoid unintentionally lifting ideas/jokes from any other writers. That being said, I was reading EW.com's recap after posting my own this evening, and I saw something that made me die a little -- well actually, a lot -- inside.

Tyra has filed for trademarks for "smize", "smile with your eyes", "H2T" and "Ty-over."

My pain is now your pain.

Thanks for reading, you guys! I hope you enjoy it!

Wow, I thought Sundai's picture was the best of the lot. And when I looked at Brittany's I felt like she was about to hold up a liquor store. Asshatley's was no worse than hers.

I think Erin's a beautiful girl, but she really needs eyebrows. And she was a total bitch in the challenge.

You can see a preview here (take out the spaces):
www. atlantamagazine. com/insider/access/RHOA.aspx

Oops! That last comment was on the wrong recap. Darn me for having too many tabs open!

I didn't really mind the stuff with Erin during the race. I mean, it WAS a race. The fact that this is a competition gets lost on some people. Not that I think she should be a jerk all the time, but as far as I can remember, she hasn't done that other than during the race.

I didn't think it was time for Bianca to go. She was figuring things out, imo. It was just taking her awhile. I never really thought Asshat took very good pictures. I strongly suspect that Tyra's ego was the only reason Bianca went home instead of Asshat. As you mentioned in a previous recap, I hope that she isn't going to be another Silesha (or whatever that untalented hack who we haven't seen since was named). That would piss me right off.

Thanks for another great recap! And sorry for the boo-boo up there. Too bad we can't edit or delete comments here.

I would like to know if I was the only one completely grossed out by Brittany's photo shoot...where she looked like a Concentration Camp survivor. ALL of her bones were sticking out, and when they got the camera shot from behind her, you could not only see every vertebrae, but you could count her ribs. From the front, she was skeletal. Tyra and company were praising her as perfect, while I was ready to vomit from the horror of it.

It's no wonder so many of these models have eating disorders...and for all Tyra's claims to the contrary, she encourages it.

Are you kidding me? I KEPT the PAGE because you mentioned me! LOL.
I agree about Erin needing eyebrow definition; just a shape in a taupe hue would help so she a slightly less freakish face. The hair is too yellow as well, not like the gorgeous platinum they achieved with Anya in Cycle 10.
Kara lost some points with me too by gloating about how 'awesome' she is .. gag me. I hate hearing people brag.
My favourite of this show is BEN, hands-down. Her boredom toward many of the other girls seems justified, no?

While I think Erin taking all the photos until she found hers was fine, and maybe even when she shoved Ashley it could be called "incidental contact" but she really did step over the line and should have been disqualified from the challenge when she yanked Sundai backwards. That wasn't incidental, that was intentional, and no matter how minor the possibility, there was a chance that Sundai could have gotten injured.

But regardless, I agree with LoLo that once Erin acted like that, she should have owned her hyper-competitive nastiness instead of crying like a baby because the other girls were mean to her. Actions have consequences, and the consequences of bulldozing over/through people you have to live with is the chance that they won't like you anymore and will say mean things about you. Now Erin knows.

Heh, go figure, I just joined team VampirErin this episode.

As she explained it herself (in a cute way that also acknowledged that she might have gone a bit far): it was a race. Through a department store. Where, just like musical chairs, you HAVE to shove the other people out of the way in order to make it through.

Remember when you played that game as a kid? Tell you what, play it tomorrow with your co-workers: you WILL shove people out of your way in order to get a chair. Yes, you will. Because it's the part that makes the game so much fun.

The irony, of course, was that it was Assley, who has already proved herself to be the bitchy mean girl of the bunch, who complained the most.

And I thought Vampyrerin grabbed onto BananaSplit's arm in order to keep from falling, because they were coming around a turn--that's how it looked like to me. At any rate she didn't stop Cokefloatwithvanillaicecream from winning did she?

Meanwhile, Vamparellerin's easily the prettiest--and most modelish (along with BEN) of the bunch, even with the ridiculous Ty-over.

I agree that Brittany looks like a skeleton. She'd be much prettier with an extra ten pounds.

Oh, and did anyone catch how clumsy BEN looked when she was racing? Funny as hell. Of course, there was no way in hell she'd ever win that race. Way too mature for that.

I think that we may all have figured out why Janice Dickinson, Twiglette and Paulina P. left the show and it has nothing to do with jealousy.

(What puzzles me is why is sexy, sexy photographer of note, Nigel, is still on the show. Unless he really isn't the super, fantastic, awesome phototog that Tyra claims him to be.)

But the reason I think they left the show is that they no longer felt like participating in the very surrealist structure of the show. Many times I feel like Tyra is basing the show, the model shoots, etc on dreams that she had. The show often takes on the feel of a combination of French New Wave film techniques and Salvador Dali and the surrealist films he would make. Nothing has any real meaning and just about symbols, so lets make the girls pose as milk maids in the dessert. And this would also explain why there is no consistency in judging or photo shoots because they are dictated by the whims of Tyra and her fantasy world.

I also think they bailed because they didn't want to be tied to a show that had no legitimacy. And they didn't want to be involved in a show that was not about modeling, but about stroking Tyra's ego and Tyra showcasing all the fabulous shit she knows about turning girls into models, the business of modeling, giving pointers, etc. Tyra's judgement of who stays and goes was also not allowed to be questioned, so the judges didn't get a fair say in it.

What was said at judging rarely made sense and what was wrong with one photo was rarely wrong in the second photo. Two girls doing to exact same thing in a photo- one would be praised and the other would be critiqued poorly.

Also they didn't want to be tied to a show that had no real impact in the modeling world. All this shit they would tell the girls about needing to start to grow a thick skin, be ready to travel, know how to go to go-sees is just ridiculous because a very select few have gone on to actually model.

The one thing that pisses me off about Tyra is how she points out to girls their physical "flaws" and it is generally about things that they can have no control over. One season she casted this girl and told her she was too short. So he advance to her was to think tall and then
she would appear tall. Well when the sage advice didn't work out the girl was cut. Or Jennifer with her wonky eye. She does it to one or two girls every season and it pisses me off. Then don't cast them if they have a physical imperfection that isn't fixable without extreme measures.

So that is my rant about the show. Can you tell that I have spent way too much time watching this show and thinking about it. That is fucking sad man.

Also why do you call VampirErin that name and why the name BEN? Just wondering.

And I thought the picture of Brittany with the scarf covering her face was my favorite. To me it was a beauty shot. Loved it.

VamirErin: because she looks like the living dead and is quite willing to suck the blood of the other girls if need be.

BEN: "Bloody-eye Nicole" --her own fault for telling a stupid story and allowing the producers to edit her as the 'weird girl' when really she appears to be somewhat shy, and definitely level-headed and fair of the bunch.

As for why the others left the show. You might be overthinking things a bit.

We ARE speaking of models here, after all. They might have left the show simply because a piece of glittery dust floated past them and they followed it and got lost along the way.

That should read "definitely the most level-headed and fairest of the bunch" ...erp.

The winners of this show never turn out to be the ones who have great careers. The only exception I can think of is Yoanna House who has made a job of hosting a lot of tv shows/series. Does Adrienne Curry count? I mean she has been successful as a reality tv person, but not as a model per se. The two who have been super successful who didn't win that immediately come to mind are Elyse from season 1 (the med student who would go off on these hysterical rants in the diary room) who is a super model over in hong kong and china and Lisa (the super weird one from a couple of seasons ago who I LOVED). She has booked some top campaigns.

I have a friend who works with a lot of tv shows and movies who also does the bryant park shows and she has worked with a couple of the girls when they were walking shows. They aren't stars. They are just walking like any other model in NYC. She did say that Jaslene was super sweet (surprising?) and she couldn't believe how tiny she was. Like... run around the shower to get wet tiny.

@ Reckless Saturn, while I agree with the thesis of your post, I highly doubt that Janice can be seen as someone who truly cares about her legacy. After "I'm A Celebrity...," "JD Modeling Agency," and that show on VH-1 where she battled with Omarosa, those shows cannot be any worse than putting up with Queen Ty-Ty. As far as Twiggy, she had no personality. Twiggy sucked and really added nothing and always seemed like she was out of it or didn't want to be there. PP was just a raging bitch and didn't like anything.

The person who wins rarely has a long-lasting modeling career, but the runner-up usually succeeds (based on those where are they now segments). chantal, season 9 (who was way better than saleisha) and anya, season 10, (way better than whitney), have both gone on to strong careers abroad.

LoLo, honey, I feel your pain... last cycle I was constantly amazed at how random and bullshit everything was that came out of Ty-Ty's crazed mouth. Especially when Jay would tell the girls to do something during the photo shoot, and then Tyra would hate their picture because of it. Or, if it was Tyra's photo shoot, she would direct them and then claim later on that she was "trying to fix" whatever was wrong with them. Such a bitch. But great recap!

love, J-Mo :)

Hey LoLo, I also read about Tyra copyrighting her shitty terms and I also died a little inside. Now, what should we do? Vow to never ever use them (as if any normal human would, anyway), or repeat them about 50 times in any given post, and announce every time FUCK YOU TYRA, I'M USING YOUR TRADEMARKED NONSENSE AND NOT PAYING ROYALTIES FOR IT - MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! On re-reading this whole first paragraph, I am actually feeling rather pathetic overall...

Is it that I am fast-forwarding through commercials too quickly, or have they finally done away with the stupid "My life as a Covergirl" spots? I mean, they had been getting truly pathetic lately - I remember Whitney's were all about her riding bikes and walking around while spouting pseudo-poetry, no hint of any actual modeling work, so maybe they are not bothering any more? I have seen the "Super models in action" or "Cover girls in action", or whatever, and I'm thinking they are probably going to run out of those pretty soon too.

And I really am in the minority, but I think that Erin's albino, no-brow makeover is a million times better than Anya's albino, no-brow makeover. All you could see in Anya's washed-out face was her giant schnozz, and at least with Erin they seem to be trying to emphasize the eyes a little more. Not that albino, no-brow makeovers are ever a good idea. BEN for the win!

Yesterday I trademarked the words 'and' 'but' and 'motherfucker'.

Yes, I accept paypal.

Great recap Lolo!!! I don't hate VE as much as you, but she's just meh, as in Rae in a way, but I think she's still pretty good. I do think BEN is likely to win, and each week Laura climbs in my mind . . . she's a total dear, and I was howling over the Grandma Wanda Sue thing . . . too funny and charming. I imagine she will come across well in the spokes model part of this.

I liked lots of the pictures, Assleys face sucked, but the blue of the scarf was really cool. I liked Rae's, but it's kind of raw, loved Ben's, liked Britneys and VE except the head wrap is weird looking to me.

Poor Bianca . . . I would have rather had her stay, and I agree that Tyty must keep Ass to save face and prove they found a model--she seems like a plant to me, so if she suddenly improves, ka-hem, ala tooty, well, beware . . . .

Twiggy quit coz they moved to LA, PP was fired and rather vocal about it . . . I don't know why Linda Evangelista isn't involved with any of these muriad modeling shows, and she still looks fantastic, in her alien ice queeny way . . .

LIke most reality shows, there's a lot of skewing going on. I have seen many beautiful poses during the shooting segment, and then the final shot is for shit . . . suspicion . . .

I like the Cover girl what ev segments that feature non winners--really cool to see some of them in the real world.

@recklesssaturn:

Paulina didn't quit, she was fired, which speaks loudly to how dilusional and egotistical Tyra is. She dished on Craig Furguson on 5/12--can be seen on YouTube.

@ Snootchy I would consider Eva Pigford as a winner that has been pretty successful.

I personally can't stand Tyra, never liked her but love the show. With the wonderful DVR I just look at the photos and who was booted. Never really know the drama until I read this recap, which I am sure is much better.