So at this point, I'm pretty sure a higher being is keeping me from getting these recaps done on time. And no, it's not my local bartender. No, the greater force this week was my own idiot self when I locked myself out of my apartment for an entire afternoon with nothing on me except for a dying ipod. That's kind of a lie because it's not even my apartment since I'm busy training to be a Professional Couch Surfer. So I have no idea where the super's apartment even is and my hostesses aren't due back for another four hours. Fan-fucking-tastic. Did I piss off Tyra? Is this bad karma for making fun of her? I don't know, but I feel like the ANTM gods out there have something against me.
A visual representation of my last 24 hours. Thanks P-Dubs
The girls slink in post-panel and Clark waxes poetic about her awesome tiger eyes photo. After some lame showings, she decided to just go balls to the wall (RIP Isis) because she has confidence and that's how she got number one photo. The fact that her lame duck mouth was hidden underwater also helped, but maybe that's just me. And let's be serious for a moment, is it that difficult to eye-fuck the shit out of Nigel? Because I'm pretty sure that if I were to add a special skills section to my resume, "Expert at making bedroom eyes at one Nigel Barker" would be on the top of that list.
In the kitchen, Clark continues to gloat. "It's kinda lonely being on top!" she sarcastically teases. Sam's understandably concerned about being in the bottom two but thinks she just needs to think positive. Joslyn voices what was on everyone's mind about Sam's in. sult. ing. runway walk. She thinks Sam wasn't being hoochie, she was just having fun! Amen, sistah! If I was in the top model house, I'd totally try to be besties with Joslyn.
Meanwhile, Mopey Margie and Apathetic Analeigh are busy getting themselves all worked up over nothing. You see, Margie is SO perturbed by the other girl's positive mAAAAAn-tras that she can't handle it. She thinks she's the only one that's intimidated and blames it on a cultural difference.
You know on second thought, I do hear that those human/hobbit cultural differences are killer.
Cultural difference, my ass. Marjorie my darling, you are what we in the biz call "tightly wound." I've been on many a French beach and if there's one thing these people are not, it's inhibited. If anything, the laissez-faire attitude of the French is infectious, as evidenced by the time I returned to the States, went to lay out in Central Park with a friend and shocked the hell out of her when I nearly took off my top. Which, you know, good thing she stopped me because while I have been deported (see last season's recaps for that story), I have never managed to be arrested. That's something I'd like to continue to evade if at all possible. But still, damn you, America and your crazy puritanical laws that are designed to mess up my tan lines!
Awkward Tyra Mail shot of the week:
Aw, someone caught Tyra halfway through her 8 minute buns routine! Awk. Ward. These girls must have a combined IQ of 50 because the clues are laughably simple - something about a bad fit and being "clothes" minded. Still, the Mensa crew sits around trying to sort out this puzzle. Golly gee, whatever could it be?
Now, I have yet to comment on the random British phone booth that the girls have to use this season, but I don't like it. Is London a theme on the show? I mean, the phone booth is cool and all, and of course I'd kill to have one in my house. (Oh wait. I'm currently jobless and homeless, so maybe I should work on wishing for a place to live before I wish for a life-size phone booth.) But like, is London involved in this show? Are there other international things going on besides the trip at the end of the cycle? Which I know for a fact is not to London? There are a lot of flaws in Tyra's logic, but I just can't get behind this interior design decision.
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Comments (24)
My favorite picture was Sam’s. Didn’t show the dress, true… but she did a great job. Next favs are Lauren Cheese, Annaleigh (who would have been tops except that little bent finger is freakin’ me out) and AwkwardwierdMargie’s picture was great too (weird how well she photographs, especially considering how well, awkward she is).
Didn’t like Clark’s, Joslyn’s, or Mckey’s. Thought they showed better pictures but chose a particularly bad one for McKey.
LOVE how Confident Clark went from best to gone in one week. Hoolia, that should prove that the ANTM Gods are fair and just.
Thanks for the great recap!
1 of 24 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on October 8, 2008 10:21 AM
It's like wish fulfillment!!!! I was just saying if they could shit can Clark, then I could root for just about all of them . . . tada!
I do think they chose some lousy shots, esp of McKey, she looked like she was rocking it, and did so much more than lay there, Tyra wanted to demonstrate her melting poses at panel, so McKey suffers for it!!!!
I did like Sam's shot, and I thought if the challenge earlier was to modify the outfit to fit better and look like a model, she would have nailed it!!!
Jos, McKey and Elina are still my faves for tops, but I'm okay with the rest. Is Sheena still removed from the website? It's very curious . . . I smell porn pics in the past, and can't believe they haven't hit the internet yet . . . but maybe she just has to go . . . but if she just has to go, why remove the photos . . . okay, I'll stop arguing with myself, what does everyone else think?
Hollia, loved the coal diamond analogy, may I use it in the future!!! I could even modify it, like, Nigel is so hot, if you stuck a piece of coal in his ass it would melt into oil, black gold, texas tea!
2 of 24 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 8, 2008 10:52 AM
Forgot to mention, Clark looked like a pretty Amy Winehouse in her pic, me likey the beehive, but honey, if she paid money for a nose job, can't imagine what it was before. For myself, I find big noses interesting, and that look is usually more attractive to me, but honestly, the shave down the nose bone kind of nose job are usually the most natural looking, and are usually pretty worth doing, if you're unhappy with natures nostrils! Maybe the file broke while they were trying, or maybe the doctor wanted to screw her coz she's so ugly inside . . . (why do I feel so mean . . . )
3 of 24 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 8, 2008 11:07 AM
mrsc - Clark getting the boot does prove that there is justice after all. Your comment made me really think about who has gotten kicked off and I think thusfar this cycle - there's been justice every week. While some lame ducks may be sticking around, I think the judges are making the right calls on who to give the boot.
juddfan - Yes, Sheena's pics are still off the website. Last week her face wasn't up there - this week it is, but if you click on a picture all that comes up is text that says "Sheena photo 7" or whatever. I'm VERY curious and would not at all be surprised about porn. Did y'all see how she was sporting an absolute dumb-as-rocks look throughout the whole challenge? Every time the camera panned to her, she just stood there dumbfounded, mouth agape. Not the brightest crayon, that one.
Also - fantastic Nigel analogy! Seriously, he and Mizz Jay keep me watching!
4 of 24 | Posted by Hoolia | Posted on October 8, 2008 11:09 AM
I loved your recap and campaign against Clark. Did anyone else look at her headshot that you posted and think of The Dark Crystal?
5 of 24 | Posted by Lizard | Posted on October 8, 2008 11:51 AM
I disagree on the Marjorie issue. Why does EVERYONE in America have the melting pot mentality? She's obviously taking great pictures to be able to still be there... her ideology works for her, so why should she change her personality to be just another cockily perky American girl? This episode really made me lose some of my respect for Sam, and I was kind of half-hoping she'd have a bad photo this week and get kicked off.
Good recap, though.
6 of 24 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on October 8, 2008 1:01 PM
alex_w - I might not have written as clearly as I was thinking, so let me clarify.
1. I don't think that Marjorie should have to change to be peppy and perky. I was mostly frustrated that she was blaming it on "being European" instead of just being like "Hey I'm uptight and get nervous so deal with it."
2. Then of course on top of that, I didn't like how oversensitive she was and the fact that she spent so much of her time complaining to others. If you want to doubt yourself, be negative all the time, and reject others before they reject you, that's your choice. But don't sit around me and whine about it because you're just going to bring everyone else down.
Of course, that's just one recapper's opinion!
7 of 24 | Posted by Hoolia | Posted on October 8, 2008 1:11 PM
Well, I've lived in Europe (currently France) for many years, and yes, there's a definite cultural difference, and yes, they're very definitely more pessimistic if not downright negative. And I still haven't quite gotten used to it all these years. It's hard enough being an American over here-- but it has to be really excrutiating being a European surrounded by all that perky American optimism.
Regardless--didn't Marjorie say that, although she was born in France, she was raised in the States? In which case, the whole "I'm French, ooh, look at me" thing is indeed wearing thin.
But I'm thinking that a model's personality isn't necessarily the most important part of the job...hmm?
I got to say, I really enjoy Tyra's overthetoppedness, I'm actually quite surprised.
I kind of liked Clark (I'm a sucker for an icehearted Southern belle), but it's pretty clear she didn't have a model's face at all. She was just filler.
I can't stand Joselyn though, really annoying that one.
Oh, and Hoolia, these days pretty much the only women going topless are over the age of 60...kind of scary going to the beaches, to tell you the truth. And besides, the French are all porking up, just like in the States.
8 of 24 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 8, 2008 3:18 PM
Itchy, they must be eating too many freedom fries . . . just a thought!
9 of 24 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 8, 2008 4:09 PM
Great recap and I agree Josyln is my favorite personality wise, but I know she's not going to win. I read somewhere with the Jays saying that the winner of this cycle was obvious so my money is on Elina or Lauren Cheese.
I also agree that the right people are getting sent home, I thought Isis would go farther, but she really wasn't improving. This might be the first season where the judges are making all the right calls as to who goes home and all the girls I didn't like are gone.
Prediction time - Sheena or Sam will be the next ones eliminated, their not going to eliminate Josyln anytime soon because lets face it she's the only black girl left.
10 of 24 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on October 8, 2008 4:50 PM
I never figured Sheena for a contender because of the Cover Girl connection. She is just too hoochie for that and the Seventeen gig. And I don't think she has the face for a model (bone structure, I mean). Plus she's too curvaceous (not just the breasts, hips and thighs, too.) Isis could never have gone to the end, either, since she is not PG rated.
I think Marjorie's negative attitude will catch up with her. She'll look about to hurl at the wrong time and poof. Besides, all that whining would get annoying IMO. Too bad because she has a lot of potential.
I think she has been in the U.S. for 10 years, but if she has lived with her parents,it would be hard to shed that negative way of thinking.
Since it was two blondes last cycle, I figured a black girl would win this time around. Isn't that the pattern? But there just weren't any really strong black girls.
11 of 24 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 8, 2008 8:15 PM
I'm sorry, but I am soooo tired of Marjorie. She has NEVER lived in France. She is NOT European. She grew up in the States and just because her parents were originally from France, that doesn't make her world any different from anyone else in ANTM. I think this whole "I'm French, I'm from a different culture" thing is a big pose. Pullll-eze. She's from the same type of whitebread towns that everyone else on ANTM is from. Stop with the pretentious crap - she wouldn't know a loaf of french bread from a hotdog bun. End rant. Apologies to actual French Citizens.
12 of 24 | Posted by sillygrrl | Posted on October 8, 2008 9:54 PM
I disagree.
I am an American living in Europe. The attitudes toward self here are MUCH different. So I can see what Margorie and Paulina are talking about. Also, just because she didn't grow up in France, she was raised in that culture because her parents are like that. For example, I grew up in America and am imbued with American culture. Even though I live in Europe, my children would be raised more American than European because of the way I would raise them.
13 of 24 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 9, 2008 4:49 AM
I for one like Marjorie, yeah she can be a bit blue at times and kind of negative, but she takes stunning photos.
I agree with Snootchy Bootches- she was raised and homeschooled by 2 French parents. And many of the people I've met who were homeschooled weren't very socially adept. So I think it is a combination of things that makes her the way she is, and I don't really think it is a bad thing. I just think the other girls aren't used to someone being a realist w/ slight pessimism
14 of 24 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on October 9, 2008 9:09 AM
Ah she was home-schooled, I forgot that point. That explains everything.
But in terms of what makes a model a model -- she's definitely at the top. No doubt they're playing up this 'crisis' so we can see her blossoming as the show goes on.
Or watch her implode.
Maybe the difference is that my kids have a French mom, so they're gettng my American work ethic with the French ability to complain even when they're happy. Grumpiest people on earth. But damn, we eat well.
15 of 24 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 9, 2008 9:44 AM
WILL EVERYONE PLEASE GET BACK ON TOPIC ALREADY????
NIGEL FANTASY LIST
A long, leisurely stroll on the beach with Nigel and then back to the beach house for a shower with Nigel would precede a tickle fight with Nigel.
Did I mention that the man elicits the lady wood in me?
16 of 24 | Posted by TheVoiceOfReason | Posted on October 9, 2008 1:25 PM
And one more thing:
If you PhotoShopped some glasses into that screencap of Paulina she would look an awful lot like a certain VP-candidate, doncha know, bless her heart.
17 of 24 | Posted by TheVoiceOfReason | Posted on October 9, 2008 1:33 PM
And here I was thinking the topic was ogling pretty girls...
18 of 24 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 9, 2008 2:38 PM
"ogling pretty girls"? You're watching the wrong cycle for that...Nigel is the prettiest one in the bunch.
Anywayyyy, LOVE YOU HOOLIA! You're ANTM recaps are always awesome, but this one had me cracking up even more. Maybe I'm still giddy from the Clarke elimination (happily ever afters DO come true!).
I'm with you about Marjorie's neurotic personality being annoying. She reminds me of women who constantly make self-deprecating jokes in order to get everyone around them to prop up their self-esteem with some "Nooo, you're wonderfuls!" It can get tiring.
The judges seem to really love McKey and Lauren Brie. Since blondes have won recently, that gives McKey a good shot at winning.
I agree with the other posters who said the judges are getting it right this cycle. Maybe they've learned how to eliminate based on actual top model potential and not just what makes good TV??
A few questions/thoughts that ran through my head as I watched this episode:
Why does Paulina jump to Marjorie's defense all the time? Is it because she looks like a younger version of her hubby?
Speaking of Paulina's husband, her spouse choice makes so much more sense now that she explains her extreme fear of rejection. (He looks like Howard Stern's older brother.)
Does Paulina hate perky "All-American" Sam? She didn't like anything Sam did in this episode...or ever.
Why is Nigel so damn sexy?
Joslyn's still awesome. Hope she does well next week! The judges have short memories of past greatness. :(
Who do ya'll think will be the REAL standout model to come out of this cycle (despite whomever wins) the contest?
19 of 24 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 10, 2008 6:56 AM
Oops...(despite whomever wins the contest)?
20 of 24 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 10, 2008 6:58 AM
Yes, I was surprised to see Lauren Brie take a picture the judges didn't like.
I'm starting to think it's better strategy for the girls to start out mediocre in the beginning and improve over time. They hate when someone starts out good and goes south. It's like saying you have learned nothing from the incredibly insightful advice the judges give you from week to week (or whatever the timeline is between panels).
I believe a "Tickle Fight with Nigel" falls just below "Massage from Nigel" and way above "Watch Nigel Flirt with Tyra" on the Nigel Fantasies List. ;)
21 of 24 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 10, 2008 7:07 AM
Sorry to keep harping, but Marg is getting on my nerves too. I agree that she may have a different viewpoint because of the French parents, but I think the real issues is that she was home-schooled, is maladjusted and full of neurosis.
You don't hear Elina bitch about being European all the time - and she's not from France, she's from the Ukraine (Slavic soul anyone?). Talk about dark and depressing attitudes.
I moved to the States when I was almost 17, and even though I retained a lot of my birth country's sensibilities, I'm way better adjusted than Marg. And I have the Jewish negativity in my DNA for good measure. Yay me!
Nigel is yummy.
22 of 24 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on October 10, 2008 9:56 AM
We all know where Marjorie is going to get the axe-the cover girl commercial. She can barely speak when she is talking to her peers let alone in front of a commercial crew when she has to memorize lines.
I love little old Joselyn. I know she won't win but she is just so adorable.
23 of 24 | Posted by Baxter | Posted on October 10, 2008 10:13 AM
Blahblah, as long as Analee is still in the contest, I'm good.
The rest don't do much for me, I'll admit. McKee is even more manly than whatshernameagain...oh yeah, Isis. How soon we forget.
Madge is way too skinny, she ought to be booted for that reason alone (the neurosis makes for good tv...like watching a timebomb tick tick tick).
The others are all pretty forgettable...Sheena has no place there, she's a Maxim model, maybe. Or a Tina Tequila replacement.
Elina is strikingly beautiful, reminds me too much of the ultra-serious girls I went to school with. The pretty ones were always cutting themselves and ending up in the psych ward. I remember one girl who developed an obsessive masturbation compulsion, ended up doing it for hours on end, until they finally hauled her off....but I digress.
Nigel who?
24 of 24 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 10, 2008 12:20 PM