Sometimes Modeling Is A Real Beach

antm5-10-06I have found a fairly comfortable place for myself during these latest episodes of America's Next Top Model. Of the girls that are left over, my favorites are Danielle and Joanie, and I am pretty sure that the two of them are going to be in the final two. Sara really hasn't been in the game long enough to be a threat and if Jade wins, I'll probably jump off of a building or something, so I don't like to talk about that. But I also have come to the realization that my favorite is not always going to win. And I think we all must come to the realization that sometimes the person with the most talent isn't always the person who finishes first in these competition reality shows. Sometimes the producers need a surprise near the end to keep people watching *cough*American Idol*cough*., and sometimes people just have bad days. This week, the Top Models went on their go-sees, and for the ladies and buck-toothed photographer fetishists all over the world, we finally got to see Nigel on the beach.

It was yet another close call for Jade last week. She has been in the bottom two four times and while those may not be Bre-like numbers, they are still pretty bad. Jade still can't figure out why the judges don't like her and can't understand why they think she thinks she knows more than the judges. Oh, I don't know, maybe because your ego is still about twice the size of that chip on your shoulder. You would think that all of those failures over the years, she would have grown slightly humble, but I guess whenever she was feeling down, she can always call on her mother for another fluffing session. When Jade's mom showed up and waved her hands around her daughter, I didn't think it looked like fluffing, but now I understand; it's all about inflating Jade's huge ego.

As nice it as it is to imagine Jade going home, she has shown a great ability to bounce back. The judges only need one thing to kick a girl out, and it may not necessarily be a bad photo. Danielle has been taking great photographs each week, but since part of this competition involves the winner's elevation from Plain Jane to Cover Girl, her thick accent is going to cause her some problems. I still think her look is strong enough to get her to the final two, and I think she has enough talent and personality to do as well as any other girl in this competition afterwards, but I am still a little worried.

The producers didn't really bother to try and make us think Joanie is worried about going home. Joanie's biggest problem, at least after the difficulty she has when she's trying to talk with her new teeth, is Sara. We haven't seen that mean streak from Joanie but she seems to get upset whenever she mentions Sara. She's upset because she believes that Sara doesn't really want to be a model, and it would be stupid if Sara won because the other girls actually care about modeling. I see Joanie's point, but if a girl was found in a mall and is able to win the competition even if she never thought about modeling before then she deserves to win. That being said, I don't think Sara is that girl, so Joanie shouldn't get herself all worked up about it.

I can tell you what I'll be getting worked up over. It's the go-see episode! Yay! It's always fun to watch the girls run around because the producers give them a deadline and a map and make the girls fend for themselves around this strange place. These girls would have a difficult enough time keeping it together if everybody around them was speaking English. Throw some foreign languages and customs at them, and it's sure to be a DISASTER.

antm5-10-06a

The girls met former Thai model Pichita Rucksajit, who was there to teach them some Thai customs. First she reminded the girls that they should take off their shoes when entering a person's house. Oh, big shocker there. I think it is pretty much assumed that if you are anywhere in Asia, just take off your shoes before entering a building. Hell, take off your shoes whenever possible, because you don't know if somebody just installed new carpet You're not going to offend people by keeping your shoes on, so just take them off. At worst they are going to laugh at you and think that you're stupid, but being an American, they will probably assume that anyway. What is there to lose? Nothing

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Comments (27)

antebellum Author Profile Page:

Jay's consistent product placements during the photo shoots make me cry, J-Unit. But thanks for the Jason Statham reference, yum.

I knew it would be Sara's swan song this week after I saw Jade's picture. Hate to say it, but she really can step it up. And I knew Joanie and Danielle probably weren't going anywhere. The winner of the whole thing will be interesting to see, though.

zevonia Author Profile Page:

I'm glad Danielle didn't go home and I'm sorry it wasn't Jade. I'm hoping Danielle wins because she is better looking than Joanie. I think Joanie's nose is weird and her jaw isn't much better. Obviously not as bad as Brook's (how did she get on this show?!?)but still...
Personally, J-Unit, I do not find Nigel attractive. The man needs to grow some hair because the top of his head is so small especially with the large jaw. He's channeling Zippy the Pin Head as far as I'm concerned.

tj Author Profile Page:

Please tell me Tyra's "smiling with your eyes" lesson will be a Clipgasm.

I'm not sure why they're giving Danielle such a hard time lately. I think she's right up there with Joanie (the favorite), but maybe they want to make Danielle seem like an underdog in the finale.

Jason A Author Profile Page:

So Jades here for another week. Ive been wanting her gone since like the second episode as well as the rest of America Im sure, so I think my nerves are pretty numb right now. I mean you can only throw the remote at the T.V so many times before you give up. But she has been in the bottom two four times...that has to be a new ANTM record.
But it looks like Joanie and Danielle should make it to the top two. I really would like to see either win but I gotta say I dont understand the debate over Danielles accent. I mean Covergirl cant be ALL homogeneous. I think she would be unique and interesting as a spokesmodel if she just toned it down some. And that gives her something more to offer. As for the pictures this week my favorite was Saras, but I was fine to see her go she really wasnt offering anything. I feel Joanies starting to nudge over in that direction too and I agree with the whole dark horse Danielle "shocking" win at the end stated above. I think all three girls left are strong walkers so the finale stomping and sultry pouty runway faces should be fun to watch. Joanie I think has the edge walking however if it comes down to her and Danielle which is expected.

P.S- What ethnicity is Jade? I thought she was Black and Caucasian but she looks so Asian sometimes. Maybe its just her drag queen, skeleton, or alien ancestry. SKELETOOORRR.

Shollia Author Profile Page:

I wasn't really all that sad to see Sara go. She had taken some good photos, but I never got a model vibe from her at all.
What does suck though is that we are still stuck with the freakin tranny... *sigh*
Just get rid of her already!!!

JJ Author Profile Page:

I looove Joanie. Danielle is soo funny and Jade still has a penis. Anyway i want joanie/danielle final. i want joanie, but danielle would still be awesome!

KatiesHole Author Profile Page:

I think Joannie will win this. Jade is still too damn old, and Danielle can hardly speak.

Also, Nigel is a bathing suit = HOT!

KH

alienlips Author Profile Page:

Did anyone notice that when Tyra was telling Danielle that she needed to do her poses differently for mens and womens magazines, they show Tyra in a tight t-shirt with her boobs stuck out (for the male magazine), and then for the womens magazine, they show her in some swimsuit/lingerie thing with her LEGS WIDE OPEN! WTF? The very thing she was telling Danielle to watch out for! And Jade? Just go away already. I am tired.

gillian Author Profile Page:

I just wonder how they expect Danielle to lose her accent at the drop of a hat. They could at least provide a diction coach or something. Them ragging on and on about it bothers me.

Leah3t Author Profile Page:

Danielle was trying to lose the accent in panel and they gave her no credit. booooo.

Juicy Couture Gumby Pirate Collection J-lo tracksuit--- HAHAHAHAHAH. When she showed up in that I was like "now, this is a true test of j-unit's unconditional love."

nigel is a hottie.

Tati Author Profile Page:

#9) about Danielle's accent, i agree---how do they expect her to work/practice/drop the accent in THAILAND of all places??? Seriously, what are her chances of finding a perfectly accented English tutor there, of all places? no way she can change the way she talks at the drop of a dime-- even by practicing words, it's gonna take a long time to finesse the accent a bit all on her own. & like u said, at least offer a diction coach, FFS!

Like everyone else, I'm hoping it comes down to Joanie or Danielle---i admit that Jade takes some nice PICTURES, but in real life, she is neither pretty or even that nice a person 2 begin with. whatsmore, she looks OLD in real life, her hair all fried, etc.

I thot it was sweet how upset Danielle was about thinking of the tsunami, that shows compassion. Jade prolly felt she had 2 say s'in about how torn up she felt inside b/c she prolly ddn't really care about it, one way or anthr. she's abt as genuine as a snake.

k37744 Author Profile Page:

nigel = tool


jade probably didn't even know that nelson mandela's cell was destroyed in that tsunami.

Jimbo Author Profile Page:

Here’s my prediction:

As I stated last week, Sarah was sent packing this episode. Was it fair? No. But life isn’t fair. Modeling isn’t fair. And reality TV is light years from fairiness.

From the highlights for the upcoming episode, we already see Danielle cracking. For whatever reason, during a photo shoot, she yells at someone – either the photographer, or, worse, Jay Manuel. We all know that JM rats out anyone to Tyra, who brings it up during the judging. So, Danielle is gone.

Danielle will be a model somewhere. I hope it’s not just laddie magazines, because she’s too good for that. In the best of all possible worlds, she and Molly Sue will be friends.

This leaves Joanie and Jade.

Not. One. Single. Judge. Likes. Jade.

Who has Tivo or has illegally downloaded the episode and played it over and over? We know Twiggy can’t stand Jade so it’s safe to assume she points to Jade’s photo in that climactic scene near the end where each judge fingers the photo of the person who should go. Two other judges finger another photo and one other judge fingers the same one Twiggy touches (CSI ANTM). The two judges who apparently point to Sarah’s photo also say uncomplimentary things about Jade.

Danielle’s out because she hasn’t worked on her accent, which Tyra has criticized.
Assuming you haven’t fast-forwarded through the commercials, Nicole from last season is doing 30-second TV spots, that, unfortunately, require her to talk. With her nasal voice. Tyra needs those spots from this season’s winner for next season. Danielle’s accent will not sell eyeliner. Or mascara. Or whatever Nicole is pimping while I’m in the kitchen.

So it comes down to Joanie, who most of the judges seem to like, and Jade, who every single judge has, in the last couple of episodes, specifically stated that they wouldn’t trust to give them the time of day.

Ergo, Joanie wins. I’m willing to put money on my prediction.

Jimbo the Greek

lucy823 Author Profile Page:

Jade is probably the scariest in the history of top-model finalists. As Nigel said about "America's next top trout," I would also add "America's Next Top Alien/Skeletor/Drag Queen."
If she wins, I may have to stop watching the show. I would be happy for either Joanie or Danielle.

Aries Author Profile Page:

Without speech lessons, it takes years to lose a Southern accent, even when you really concentrate on it. Trust me, I know of what I speak. So for Tyra and the judges to criticize Danielle about her accent is BS. If the accent bothered them that much, it should have been a consideration loooong before now. Maybe when they were picking out the final 20 or 13. But nooooo, the producers were dead set on having THE UGLIEST SEASON EVER. So the judges are down to a girl with a mile wide gap in her teeth and a twangy accent. Since Danielle got the gap fixed, now the judges want to penalize her for the accent. Whatever. I think they just didn't want to put Jade in the final two AGAIN because there would have been no excuse for them not to give her the boot this time, and it was really Sara's time to go. I believe Sara when she said she wanted to succeed and had a passion for modeling, but that's because she's probably a Type A and doesn't like to fail at anything. Hopefully, she will decide to go on to law school and leave the modeling gigs to people who are more graceful and less self-conscious.

JJ Author Profile Page:

how dare jade say joanie doesnt have a lingerie body. i mean joanie's body is crazy sexy. Jade doesnt realize that the object of lingerie is not show off your body, not your cellulite

Terence Author Profile Page:

I would like Danielle to win. I too am annoyed by Tyra trying to banish her accent. Just toning it down would be fine. Having Jade win would be a nightmare. My TV will explode or have tons of static if I see her face on a Cover Girl chermercial. Its bad enough hearing Nicole being SOOOO enthusiatic about being a CoverGirl And to the person who asked about her Ethnicity. I read on I think Wikipedia Jade is Caucasian, African-American, AND Indian.

Jimbo Author Profile Page:

Did I actually see Jay Manuel wearing a sarong with shorts underneath?

That's the equivalent of a woman wearing jeans under a dress.

I'm nominating that screen cap for Go Fug Yourself.

ATCmurph Author Profile Page:

What's with all of the beautiful accomodations they keep getting to stay in? Used to be when they sent them on their trip they'd put them up in those shoebox-sized "model apartments." That was always fun watching them crammed in like sardines.

I vote for anyone but Jade. Still hate her, but really liked this week's picture.

I vote Nigel is HOT.

georgiababe Author Profile Page:

Did anyone notice that tunic that Jay was wearing? Anyway, it shifted over a little bit so his nipple was exposed and they blurred it out!!! I thought that was hilarious!! Hello!! It doesn't matter if you see a guy's nipple!! Although maybe since he's gay, his nipples work like women's do. Or something. Whatever.

Go Joanie!! (Although I will be fine with Danielle too.) Boo! Hiss! for Jade

Keyser Soze Author Profile Page:

I call bullshit on Tyra Banks, with her faux pro-woman talk show, demanding Danielle lose her accent. How about providing her with a speech therapist if you really expect it to happen? You can't lose an accent overnight or even in a few weeks. Actors take a great deal of training to learn an accent for a role. You are expecting this girl to basically talk differently for the rest of her life. Or how about this Tyra? How about you allow a girl with a southern accent, like a MILLION other southerners, to win as a representative of people FROM HER REGION OF THE COUNTRY, instead of trying to make her into some generic milquetoast. Close the gap, fix the accent. You knew how she was coming in, then you demand these huge last minute changes. Tyra you are bullshit.
Nigel, you are hot.

BethW Author Profile Page:

Eh, I know Sara isn't exactly a model
but she was the only pretty one left.
Jade's head looks detached from her body and I can't get over the fact that it looks like she's had more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers. She looks fake, an ugly doll that everybody let's the dogs chew on.
And Joanie, Joanie's picture just didn't appeal to me at all this time. Her body looks odd and her bellybutton ring looks worse. Then the closeup shows off her rectangle face.
I'm not going to say anything about Danielle because I've been extremely negative in this comment. In all honesty though, I know I'm not perfect, but I guess I expect 'models' to at least be good looking or at least be strangely pretty the way Naima was.
I'm disappointed with this season.

Mira Author Profile Page:

I love both Joanie and Danielle. Let's just hope that Jade gets cut in the finale.

I'm rooting for Joanie. I think Danielle is gorgeous and so unique. She's down to earth, the gap makes her even more beautiful and I don't even mind her accent. But I am biased. I have a southern accent, as well. haha

I'm really pushing for Joanie, though. She's such a sweetheart.

G-Money Author Profile Page:

Keyser Soze :

"...I call bullshit...".

At last! Someone who
s played the cardgame
Bullshit. Great game, izn't it?

stacyrocks Author Profile Page:

Jade for another week? Ouch! If she makes it to final 2 over my girl Danielle, I will seriously lose my mind. I think Tyra just wants Danielle to stop mashing 3-4 words all together and enunciate. I don't think that's grounds to eliminate her though! I understand Danielle most of the time and I'd rather hear her in those CoverGirl spots than nasal whiner Naima & booooooring Nicole ANY DAY.

I think Jade is only there for ratings, and I think that for whatever reason Tyra is the only one keeping her on the show. She's ugly. Although I laughed my ass off when she said she doesn't have an ounce of arrogance in her body 2 weeks ago.

I think that, unfortunately, Danielle is going to get the boot this week. They will keep Jade on just to stump everyone but America's sweetheart Joanie is going to win, and rightfully so.

Keyser Soze,

I couldn't have said it better.

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