Did Somebody Say.... Makeover?? - 
by J-Unit
Before I get into the heart of my recap, let me take a little time to talk about the new intro. As I mentioned last week, Tyra admitted that it was her own voice belting out the lyrics to the ANTM theme song. I don't what to say about the actual quality of the song or anything, but if you're anything like me, you have absolutely no problem hearing Tyra say "You wanna be on top?" over and over again. Week after week. Year after year. It's almost as if she was right there on the couch next to me when I'm watching... ahhh... Oh where were we? Anybody else need a cold shower?
As far as first episode eliminations go, Chrisitan is probably among the top three, but let's be honest, we are pretty much used to this shit by now, aren't we? Melrose was very happy, as you would expect, but being so close to elimination put her in tears. I think that most of the girls were just happy that they didn't have to face elimination, but Monique was not buying into this whole "tears" thing. She said that Melrose's tears weren't real and that overall Melrose was very fake. Melrose might not be one of my favorites, but I don't think that she has come off as fake. Monique, on the other hand, is just piling up the bitchy stats. If ANTM was a football game, her helmet would have a bunch of those merit stickers, as long as they gave merit stickers for being a huge bitch.
Our first Tyra mail of the day informed the girls that Tyra needs two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice every morning to get her through the day. Looking at Tyra these days, I think she is washing that OJ down with some bacon, but overall, pretty good words to live by. The rest of the message informed the girls that they would be going somewhere for breakfast early in the morning. I am sure that there are many out there enlist the aid of an alarm clock to make sure they get up with enough time to look their best, and for the most part society has learned to live with the minor drawbacks of alarm clocks because we would rather not be late for work, dentist visits, or mystic tan appointments. Monique is not one of those people.
What the hell is Melrose looking at?
I will admit, there are things that suck about an alarm clock. Anybody who has had to share a wall with somebody who A) turns the volume on the alarm clock way up or B) likes to listen to that annoying buzzer for thirty minutes straight without hitting the snooze button knows the feeling of waking up before you were ready and then thinking how difficult it would be to fashion a device to wake said neighbor with a ball peen hammer. Monique was quite upset that some of the girls were using alarm clocks, but what is the big deal? You are going to the exact same place AND NEED TO LEAVE AT THE EXACT SAME. Besides, wasn't she the one that said she needed to take over an hour in the shower? Would it not be a good idea to wake up before everybody else so you have enough time?
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