Even Greg Kinnear Loves Top Model!

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I say this every year, and since I am a creature of habit, I will say it again. America's Next Top Model doesn't really get started until after the makeover episode. As the Tyra and the rest like to say, these girls are blank canvases, and so you can't really judge their potential. The early rounds are devoted to weeding out the people that somehow slipped through the cracks and into the finals. It is also the time when the producers piss us off by getting rid of some of the unique and attractive girls in favor of drama queens and the judges pet favorites. And sometimes your favorites just fail to be fierce. This week's episode was devoted to walking the runway, and as we saw from yesterday's clipgasm, that is not always an easy task.

I was really pissed off losing Megan last week, but it didn't look like the other girls shared my outrage. Sure, they were all pissed off because Monique was really living up to her Blacula moniker by sucking the life out of everything she came in contact with. But when somebody gets on your nerves, you have to fight back. Or you could make a slide on your stairs, using mattresses, which is what the girls of the house decided to do. It didn't look like it was all that crazy to me, but the girls were screaming like they had just spent the day at Magic Mountain, a couple hours between the sheets with EdHill, or a few minutes with me listening as I talk about why they should release a new version of Chrono Trigger for the PS3.

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Wheee!!!

Jaeda was also pissed off, but not because of Megan or Monique, but because of her new hair. Seriously, she threw down the gauntlet when she said that she didn't care if she was shaved bald, so she should stop complaining about it now. She even said that her hair grew back quickly, so, uh, what are we complaining about again? It is not often that I would tell models to follow Jade's example, but she did get an awful makeover last year. She hated it, but in the end she rocked on with what she had, and it got her all the way to the final three.

The only person who even mentioned that she missed Megan was AJ, but that was only because she thought that Monique and Eugenia were bitches. Monique is a huge bitch, but I don't think Eugenia is all that bad. Sure she may have come into the semi-finals talking shit about the girls from cycle six, but I think she realizes that the competition is tougher than it looks and she doesn't appear to have a big attitude at the moment, although perhaps the producers just aren't showing it. I think Eugenia has become a bitch by association because she is Monique's only friend in the house, which probably should warrant giving her a medal. And don't forget, Monique was the one who dumped water on Eugenia's bed when they first moved in! How do you let that happen? Who decides to become friends with the people that just attacked you? Did we learn nothing from the treaty of Versailles?

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Random Jaeda cleavage shot of the week

The first Tyra Mail of the episode told the models to watch their step because their butts are on the line. When they arrived at their challenge that night, Miss J was ready to give them their lesson. To me, Miss J is OK. The problem with the judging panel these days is that it has become Tyra plus three boring people. I think Nigel knows his stuff, but Twiggy is there for name recognition only, not because of her personality. Miss J is outrageous and fabulous and likes to dress up, but her delivery is dry. I am not sure what Tyra owes to Miss J, but it has to be a lot because she is totally over her head at panel. That being said, I am kind of happy that panel sucks because I am tired of writing by the time I get to the end of these recaps and that would only make things harder.

Since the girls were learning how to walk, the producers decided to ramp up the difficulty a little bit. Given two legs, an average sense of balance, and no more than one drink every hour or so, most people can walk in a straight line. Then again, models aren't most people, so we have to ramp up the difficulty a little bit. Therefore, the contestants were going to have to walk a tight rope back and forth while trying to look like a model the whole time.

Even Greg Kinnear Loves Top Model! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

« Clipgasm: Can I Get A Witness? Edition | | Clipgasm: Will Kirby Tarantino Style Edition »

Comments (18)

GnomeCorp [TypeKey Profile Page]:

So funny! Read more about this episode of Top Model here

biancaneve [TypeKey Profile Page]:

So glad Monique went home! She was one crazy BIATCH! I think all the drama she was creating in the house, plus the fact that she didn't do the challenge contributed to her demise. You have to wonder if the producers were afraid her behavior would get more vicious and dangerous. Rubbing her panties on Melrose's bed was just crazy - though I agree with you, J-Unit, that the idea of it is a lot more gross than the reality of it. Even if they were panties she'd been wearing for the past two days, she rubbed them on the foot of the comforter. Gross and crazy, yes, but hardly a health hazard. Anyway, she may be gone, but I'm sure someone else will fill the drama void.

georgiababe [TypeKey Profile Page]:

You got Michelle and Amanda's pictures mixed up again. Amanda was in the black, and Michelle had the fur.

SO GLAD that Monique is gone! I like basically everyone who is left, except for Eugena and Megg. (Who I agree is so fake). My current favorites are AJ, Anchal, Brooke and Melrose but I like them all.

~Georgia~

antebellum [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I didn't really like the twins' pictures, nor did I like Melrose's (it just wasn't attractive). But the rest of them were pretty good. I have to say I had my doubts about the girls this season, but I think overall they are better than the ones from last year, though I can't picture any Joanie or Danielle just yet.

Glad Monique is gone. I actually think she's prettier than Eugena, but she's crazy and her drama got annoying.

Samboomba [TypeKey Profile Page]:

What is up with all the "dehydration" sicknesses on this show? Somebody get these bitches some water!

This season seems pretty average so far, but I'll hold my judgement until later in the season. I do like the twins though, they're definitely awkward looking, but they're model-awkward. If only they could walk...

And I agree re:the Monique/underwear theory. You don't really want to piss someone off in way that relies on the fact that people think you've got a filthy cooter. That's just sort of embarrassing for her really. I really took issue with Monique's weird, detached personality, it smacks of "sociopath", so I'm glad she's gone. We need some Jade-Brand of crazy instead.

zevonia [TypeKey Profile Page]:

My guess would be that any dehydration these girls have is caused by eating habits. You lose fluids and electrolytes when you puke. Just 'cause it's not shown on camera doesn't mean it's not happening.
Love the recap as always, J-Unit. I was a little offended by the line "These are girls, after all, and cattiness will eventually creep in until the next girl goes crazy as well". I mean that was a bit rude. Just because women can be bitchy, catty, nasty, skanky, mean, hateful, psycho... wait a minute, what was my point? Oh, never mind.

Leah3t [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I thought it was unecessarily mean not to let texas girl model in her own town. It's not like they've all forged these really strong friendships at this point and if its kind of a draw who you pick, why not let one person have a chance and getting a leg up in their hometown? Most of these girls are only destined for local fame anyway.

c-wise [TypeKey Profile Page]:

AJ is awesome. Melrose's expressions are just awkward.

I don't fault AJ one bit for not taking Brooke. Why should Brooke get to go "home" when no one else does? And apparently Brooke's actual hometown is hours away from Austin... so she just wanted to go to her home state for a night? Whatever. Still, she is one of my favorites.

zoobabe [TypeKey Profile Page]:

yes Brooke is very cute and Anchal is stunningly beautiful, but are they FIERCE? They are my two faves, so I want to see them bring it.

Happy Homemaker [TypeKey Profile Page]:

DListed has clained Monique was busted at O'Hare Airport Thursday morning for pot possession. I can't find anything through google with her full name. Maybe someone in the Chicago local area can find it offline and can post confirmation? That girl ain't right in the head. I knew that the day she put her hands down her pants and flung "it" at Melrose, I think it was. Ugh. Skanky. My favorites are Anchal, AJ, Jaeda, Brooke, Caridee, the Twins I love but I think they need to work on their runway walk more, especially Michelle. Their pictures are powerful though. I see their pictures and all I think are dayum! I'm just so glad to see the Wicked Witch of the East gone I'm doing the happy dance here. LOL

zoo keeper [TypeKey Profile Page]:

J-Unit... I love your trashing on Monique & your colostomy bag comment. I'm with you and was NOT feeling sorry for that girl at all. She has some weird obsession w/things that come out of her cooter -- "peeing" on Eugena's bed, flinging her juices at Melrose, and wiping her draw's on the bed. Someone needs to help her, and I hope it will not be televised.

And I don't think you should feel bad for bashing Melrose -- she's strange looking, and I thought she looked possessed in her picture, not fierce. Fiercely possessed, maybe.

A.J. does look great in her photos this week, but has anyone else noticed how she gets a little pigeon-toed when she tries to stand like she's bad-ass?

mcsquared65 [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I couldn't say good riddance to her fast enough. As psycho bitches go, she wasn't even entertaining.

WTH do they see in Megg?? She looks/sounds like an extra in Dazed and Confused.

Btw I remember when I thought Greg Kinnear was a hunk. The pic here just ended that era.

Court_Love [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Ugh.

Every single episode Tyra gets more full of herself.

"When I was seventeen, I walked this catwalk. When I was seventeen, I modeled for this photographer. When I was seventeen, I smoked crank and whored myself out"

Pulease.

Anyway, I do like twins' pictures. But they need to work on that runway walk, gurl.

It seems to me that Melrose only has one look. I don't know if "fierce" is the word to use. I'd go with indigestion.

hardly@work [TypeKey Profile Page]:

they need to end the antm writer's strike, tyra should not be allowed to adlib or torture us with her lame anecdotes about the fashion industry...

meg sucks- she has chin issues, way more than brooke from last season, she annoys me just being on the screen- and whoever said she looked like the stoned brother from don't tell mom the babysitters dead is so right that is all I see when I look at her

love aj and caridee

Shaz [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Wow! I'm surprised that I was wrong. I assumed Monique would be staying on for a while, considering how TV worthy her "I am Queen inside my own head" bitchiness is. Yet, I am glad to see her go. Besides, I agree with the fact that it'll only be a matter of time before the girls start ganging up on someone else. These shows are always like a pressure cooker, a breeding ground for steam and blowing up! But for now, "Ding-Dong the bitch is dead". Huzzah!

Shaz [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Court_Love, you are so right. I can't stand watching how concieded Tyra Banks is. Beautiful as she may be, she's way too drunk on her (imagined) importance. All those pics of her gracing every available wall space in the house reminds me of Bette Midler's comment in 'The First Wives Club': "Is this where your fan club meets? Do you hold ritual sacrifices here?!?"

juddfan [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Another episode of campy fun, sans Blacula . . . I did hear she was arrested for pot, just as she was flying in for her press junket . . . girl seems destined to fail--or rather than plain fail, she was sick . . .

what was up with that final walk--reediculous!

I'm hoping Jaeda pulls it out this week, I'd like to see her in the finals, but she's just a notch above Eugena, which is bottom feeding . . .

BION, I did pick Monique for elimination after the first episode, eventhough I thought they'd keep her for drama . . . and hey, no mention of Tyra's little riff at the end of the "she don't wanna be here" song . . . I found it so uplifting that she wanted to lift her up . . . even Twiggy couldn't hide that look.

Tyra still doesn't totally bug me, but she seems so amped up and over excited . . . take a breath girl!

hollabackboy [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I had a feeling that Monique would be going home because they really respect when people are really sick/hospitalized (which has happened about every other season now) and still do what they have to do ( ex: Adrienne is season 1, Rebecca in season 4...). And I didn't really get the humor in her rubbing her panties on someone's bed. Did she pee in them 5 minutes prior? Really it just made her look stupid.

P.S. The girls look much better after their makeovers, except for those twins. Ugh.

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