Before Taye or Japan could have their way with the ladies, important body-image conerns needed to be addressed. Specifically, Norelle noted that she wanted collagen, or as she calls it: "Colla- colla- collgin?" This declaration jumpstarted a round table discussion about which body parts each girl wanted — thighs, breasts, shoulders, brains. Oh wait, scratch that last one. It should be noted that Yaya only wanted a proper, respectable Kente hat that was NOT made of cheap fabric.

Apparently somewhere along the way Nicole cracked a joke or at least said something because the girls suddenly all marvelled at her personality - as in "Wow, you have a personality!" Nicole then confessed that she likes to keep her personalitly away from the judges because she doesn't want to act like a "tard" in front of the panel. Yeah, why show your personality when you're being judged on, you know, your personality?

Perfectly unafraid to showcase her personality was Yaya, who's made quite the inroads in the Pontification Sciences (or "Pontifi... Pontif... Pont-whaa?" as Norelle would say). "It's easy to sit back and get big headed," Yaya said big headedly. Little did she know that Tyra Banks would be prescribing her an overwrought metaphor to take care of that. But more on that later...

Anyway, the best Tyra mail of all time arrived with a cryptic message that simply read "Prepare to die." YES! The moment we've all been waiting for! Oh wait, it was only a coy tease, not the harbinger of a Tyra Banks slaughterfest. Sigh. The gals all gussied themselves up and headed to what appeared to be a Christian Publications Bookshop. No, seriously. It said that on the sign of the building. Alas, the Big Tent Revival I was momentarily excited for turned out to be a wrinkly acting diva slouched in a chair. Seeing this old bag scowl at the ladies made me wonder if the "prepare to die" note would preface some sort of beat down with pickled herring from Zabars. Instead of a bagel & lox inspired melee though, the woman (Sande Shurin - not related to Sandy Duncan) subjected the would-be models to a method-acting crash course. First they were ordered to close their eyes and access their emotional bodies, an excercise even Sande had to proclaim sounded "airy fairy." Of course, that caused Norelle to open her eyes and squeal "Fairies!! Yay!"