Bianca lowers her voice (ooh, secret time!) and tells the other girls that she used to think Heather was a big threat. Now she thinks that Heather has an amazing face but... she has an amazing face. Her words. Now, I'm not sure what the logic is there, but I also don't think anyone had B pegged as the brightest bulb in the box (if you catch my drift). What she meant was that Heather doesn't really bring much else to the table. Ambreal agrees, saying that she fears for her when she opens her mouth. I hear ya, Ambreal, especially if you're thinking what I'm thinking will come out of it everytime, which is that creepy meow the boy in "The Grudge" makes.
The next morning the girls head back over to FIDM. Ann Shoket, the editor-in-chief of Seventeen, is there to announce the prize of today's runway challenge. The winner gets to appear in the Seventeen Holiday Jewelry spread! The girls all look really excited and go to get into their dresses.
Jenah is super sonic stoked because her dress is SO her. She knows she inspired it. Her, or Madonna a la "Like A Virgin", but let's not split hairs.
Bianca thinks her dress is boring and I guess she is kind of right. It's very Swan Lake and anyone who has seen more than a minute of Bianca knows that she's not all that delicate. If I were designing a dress for her I'd need glass shards, rusty nails and a whole lot of rubble.
Heather is whining about her dress not being 'her' enough and I feel really bad for her designer, who's desperately trying to come up with nice things to say to her. Incidentally, her dress is actually not bad and kind of cute, what's the problem?
Benny Ninja meets the girls backstage before they start and informs them that they will have to say a few lines about what they're wearing and what inspired it at the end of the runway. Bianca goes first and is throwing down all kinds of attitude, in a fabulous way. She announces that she is the 2007 remake of Cleopatra Jones and mentions something about the ladies needing to hold onto their men. For one thing, I don't know that that's the best way to gain votes. Plus, I'm not sure Yuki even knows who Cleopatra Jones is. I am fairly certain she was thinking of, oh I don't know, the Hellenistic ruler of Egypt?
A whole world of difference.
Heather is up next in her cute blue dress. She gets to the end of the runway and freezes when it comes time to speak, so instead just opens and shuts her mouth a few times.
What is it girl?! Saleisha stuck in a well? Bianca torturing kittens again?
Finally, she speaks. "With my timeless look... and [nervous laughter] amazing personality (and how!)... I was able to inspire the spirit of the ocean." Ouch.
Lisa also stumbles over her words when she gets on the runway and, as she rejoins the girls backstage, mumbles "no more Top Model for me." Well, certainly not with an attitude like that missy!
Saleisha WORKS it in her pixie dress and inspires the men in the audience to put a mental picture of her in their spank banks when she throws a sassy little wink over her shoulder.
"Tinkerbell ain't got shit on me"
After all the girls have gone, Neil and Ann give their critiques. Ambreal was too cheesy, Bianca had waaay too much attitude, Lisa needs more confidence and Heather was too bland. Heather is upset by this and tells us "I'm not the ocean." You don't say!
The winner of the challenge is Saleisha and she picks Lisa and Bianca to go with her to the shoot. Heather is still upset and Bianca tells her she needs a tougher skin. I think she meant thicker... oh hell. You know what? It would take far too long for me to correct everything this girl says.
The girls all head back to the house and, on their way in, Heather mumbles "I call shower" so lowly that, were it not for the subtitles, I wouldn't have even noticed it. Now, I'm pretty sure that this is just the beginning of Heather vs. the world, but I'm also an authority on calling dibs and if no one hears you, it 100% does not count.
Tyra Mail! The heat is on! The girls all seem to be pretty over TyraMail and don't react or try to figure it out.
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Comments (10)
Saleisha's haircut makes her look like she could be Dr. Bailey's (from Grey's Anatomy) little sister or daughter. It totally hit me after watching GA on Thursday.
1 of 10 | Posted by carol | Posted on November 17, 2007 1:38 PM
"I hope you're happy, Tyra. You've created a monster. And she wreaks havoc in the nude."
That was the line that made me snort. Seriously.
Oh Pachita, your recaps rock my socks!
Heather was so creepy looking this episode, oy. I'm kind of over her. But I still love Lisa!!
2 of 10 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on November 17, 2007 2:10 PM
Why didn't you say anything about the Elite Agency guy being a total Tim Gunn rip off?
3 of 10 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on November 18, 2007 2:58 AM
i loved when the judges told heather that her picture looked like she was taking a dump.
also, how awesome was it that jaslenes cover girl commercial was in a WALMART??? her spiral back to anonimity is nearly complete.
i hope the editors dont start being tricky with the opening scene = girl going home thing. antm is formulaic, but thats what i love about it!
4 of 10 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 18, 2007 7:34 AM
Great recap!
But as a Chinese, I need to clarify that the thing they showed during panel was really supposed to be a lion. The one that's supposed to be a dragon would be much longer (and really looks like a Chinese dragon) carried by about 20 people.
5 of 10 | Posted by adrian1023 | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:03 AM
Great recap!
But as a Chinese, I think I need to clarify that the thing they showed in panel was indeed supposed to be a lion. The dragon one looks like a traditional Chinese dragon, and will be much longer and carried by around 20 people.
6 of 10 | Posted by adrian1023 | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:06 AM
carol - oh my gosh why did I not see that before?! You are so right.
You know, I did not watch this live and fast forwarded through all the commercials, so I had completely missed Jaslene in Walmart the first time around. I heard about it from someone else and had to go find it because I had to see it to believe it.
What can I even say about that?! It is the most ghetto-fabulous CoverGirl commercial I have ever seen. Why would they even want to air something that humiliating? She didn't even look that good, it looked as though maybe 2 people stopped to talk to her (and probably didn't even know who she was), and it's WALMART. I mean, nothing wrong with shopping there, but not exactly the place I would think to set up a 'model' sponsored cosmetics counter. Next thing you know she'll be holding wine tastings at Taco Bell.
Thanks, georgiababe!
Adrian - thanks for the clarification, sorry for the mistake. I guess I should have looked into that one...
7 of 10 | Posted by pachita | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:08 AM
Great recap!
But as a Chinese, I think I need to clarify that the thing they showed in panel was indeed supposed to be a lion. The dragon one looks like a traditional Chinese dragon, and will be much longer and carried by around 20 people.
8 of 10 | Posted by adrian1023 | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:08 AM
Awesome Recap!! Sooo Funny! I especially loved: "If I were designing a dress for her I'd need glass shards, rusty nails and a whole lot of rubble." So true! I wish I could lock Tranny Vanny from Tila Tequila in a room with Bianca for like 10 mins, and see which one comes out alive - or covered in hickeys!
Oh - also sort of off-subject - one of my freshman year roomies packed all her shit and left college because I used her shower shoes - honestly, I am so not kidding!
I am so over Heather and her whining too - I completely agree that unless Miss Jay can seriously work miracles on the runway - there is no way she can win.
My problem with this episode was their nasty attitudes with the fashion design students - look I get that this outfit was supposed to be "inspired" by the model - but models are supposed to show off the clothes - not bitch about whether they like them or not - I'm just sayin....
Oh - and I used to not completely hate Tyra - but why the F did she have to announce the trip to China BEFORE kicking off Ambreal - that was sooo unnecessary! Whatev -
9 of 10 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on November 19, 2007 9:31 AM
Thanks Pachita!!!! Great recap, if you're going to wreak havoc, much better to do so in the nude . . . and what's this whole calling dibs thing, I go to the bank and say, "I call the first million dollars" but do they give it to me . . . . no . . . . they don't even care and laugh in my face, so if I got naked and ran behind their glass I'm sure they'd be laughing even harder at me . . .
I do think Heather's asbergers shows in believing in a dib system, and that's she's a fire sign . . . granted, when I played sea nymphs as a child, it had a whole other meaning . . .
Painful to watch them flub on the runway though, but nice for them to do a faux PR episode! Happy turkey day all!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 19, 2007 1:16 PM