All the girls are sitting around and Bianca tells Heather she needs to stop being so serious all the time. She brings up Showergate again and I pop a handful of Excedrins. Saleisha starts in with "I've had to shower with every girl here" (eew) and Heather counters with "I wasn't upset about the SHO-WER! I just have a problem with someone butting me out even though I called it" So... your problem was with the shower. Glad we settled that.
Heather then takes her holier-than-though attitude a step further and says "if you guys had what I had happen to you you'd have acted the same way."
Finally Ambreal says (to us, unfortunately, not the other girls) that she thinks Heather's been babied. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, AMBREAL. She's been babied from day one because of her disability and now its gone to her head. I hope you're happy, Tyra. You've created a monster. And she wreaks havoc in the nude.
Tyra Mail! Tomorrow the girls meet with the judges and only 6 will continue on.... woot woot!
Panel time! Tyra greets the girls and starts off by telling them their prizes. She begins to announce their judges; the lovely Nigel Bar- holy shit, I just shot coffee through my nose. Did you see that? Please tell me that Excedrin wasn't straight from the Chinese black market because I think I'm hallucinating.
Okay, creepy dragon thing is not going away but the girls seem to be noticing it too so I can rule out poltergeist. Tyra does not miss a beat and keeps talking when HOLY MOTHER OF PACHITA a freaking dragon 10 times the size of the first one comes running out. Seriously, Tyra, are you trying to give me a heart attack? Because it's kind working. Holy crap, I'm jumpier than I was that time I had to drive a bus full of people with a bomb that would detonate if I went slower that 50 mph...
Tyra starts talking to the dragon who moves it mouth but no sound comes out and I go touch the dogs to see if they're real and make sure I haven't somehow been transported into a parallel universe full of dragons and stinging nostrils (because, ouch).
The dragon continues to make nonsensical facial movements at Tyra when finally Tyra turns to the girls and goes "Ladies, this lion just informed me that you are going to CHINAAAAAAA!" WOAH, hold the phones. T-Bo, that is NOT a lion. That doesn't even kind of look like a lion. In fact, I think you just offended the entirety of China by thinking their trademark dragon is anything but.
Yes, honey, I know what sound a lion makes. The question is, do you know what one looks like?
The girls all start freaking out and dragons and Chinamen come out of nowhere and start dancing. This is exciting! Tyra even opens a fan and smiles! Oh, wait a second ladies, there's still a cut tonight, they've only got 6 tickets on the Orient Express. Wow, T-Bo, that is low, even for you.
Oops! Not so fast, Ambreal!
Score! Gratuitous dragon banging!
Okay, enough of that nonsense, its time for the individual evaluations. Jenah is up first. Her best shot is, as per usual, great. Very damsel-in-distress. The judges love her body language and Tyra tells her she was all over the place in a fantastic way
Up next is Heather. Her best shot is interesting, but there's not much to see of Heather because of her pose. Can't see the garment, can't see her face...Twiggy and Nigel love it, Tyra tells her that it was her weakest shoot to date and asks her what she was feeling. She gives some random answer about "one of those days" and I pray that Tyra says something along the lines of "tough titties." Tell me that's not something you think she would say!
Up next is Saleisha. I really like her best shot, mainly because her hair is the antithesis of a Beatle bob. Twigs loves the attitude, Nigel doesn't think it's striking, and Tyra likes that she took a lot of different chances but wishes she had done it for all her film, not just two frames.
Chantal is up next and I really like her best shot. The judges agree, Nigel thinks its almost her best picture to date and Twigs thinks its just beautiful.
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Comments (10)
Saleisha's haircut makes her look like she could be Dr. Bailey's (from Grey's Anatomy) little sister or daughter. It totally hit me after watching GA on Thursday.
1 of 10 | Posted by carol | Posted on November 17, 2007 1:38 PM
"I hope you're happy, Tyra. You've created a monster. And she wreaks havoc in the nude."
That was the line that made me snort. Seriously.
Oh Pachita, your recaps rock my socks!
Heather was so creepy looking this episode, oy. I'm kind of over her. But I still love Lisa!!
2 of 10 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on November 17, 2007 2:10 PM
Why didn't you say anything about the Elite Agency guy being a total Tim Gunn rip off?
3 of 10 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on November 18, 2007 2:58 AM
i loved when the judges told heather that her picture looked like she was taking a dump.
also, how awesome was it that jaslenes cover girl commercial was in a WALMART??? her spiral back to anonimity is nearly complete.
i hope the editors dont start being tricky with the opening scene = girl going home thing. antm is formulaic, but thats what i love about it!
4 of 10 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 18, 2007 7:34 AM
Great recap!
But as a Chinese, I need to clarify that the thing they showed during panel was really supposed to be a lion. The one that's supposed to be a dragon would be much longer (and really looks like a Chinese dragon) carried by about 20 people.
5 of 10 | Posted by adrian1023 | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:03 AM
Great recap!
But as a Chinese, I think I need to clarify that the thing they showed in panel was indeed supposed to be a lion. The dragon one looks like a traditional Chinese dragon, and will be much longer and carried by around 20 people.
6 of 10 | Posted by adrian1023 | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:06 AM
carol - oh my gosh why did I not see that before?! You are so right.
You know, I did not watch this live and fast forwarded through all the commercials, so I had completely missed Jaslene in Walmart the first time around. I heard about it from someone else and had to go find it because I had to see it to believe it.
What can I even say about that?! It is the most ghetto-fabulous CoverGirl commercial I have ever seen. Why would they even want to air something that humiliating? She didn't even look that good, it looked as though maybe 2 people stopped to talk to her (and probably didn't even know who she was), and it's WALMART. I mean, nothing wrong with shopping there, but not exactly the place I would think to set up a 'model' sponsored cosmetics counter. Next thing you know she'll be holding wine tastings at Taco Bell.
Thanks, georgiababe!
Adrian - thanks for the clarification, sorry for the mistake. I guess I should have looked into that one...
7 of 10 | Posted by pachita | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:08 AM
Great recap!
But as a Chinese, I think I need to clarify that the thing they showed in panel was indeed supposed to be a lion. The dragon one looks like a traditional Chinese dragon, and will be much longer and carried by around 20 people.
8 of 10 | Posted by adrian1023 | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:08 AM
Awesome Recap!! Sooo Funny! I especially loved: "If I were designing a dress for her I'd need glass shards, rusty nails and a whole lot of rubble." So true! I wish I could lock Tranny Vanny from Tila Tequila in a room with Bianca for like 10 mins, and see which one comes out alive - or covered in hickeys!
Oh - also sort of off-subject - one of my freshman year roomies packed all her shit and left college because I used her shower shoes - honestly, I am so not kidding!
I am so over Heather and her whining too - I completely agree that unless Miss Jay can seriously work miracles on the runway - there is no way she can win.
My problem with this episode was their nasty attitudes with the fashion design students - look I get that this outfit was supposed to be "inspired" by the model - but models are supposed to show off the clothes - not bitch about whether they like them or not - I'm just sayin....
Oh - and I used to not completely hate Tyra - but why the F did she have to announce the trip to China BEFORE kicking off Ambreal - that was sooo unnecessary! Whatev -
9 of 10 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on November 19, 2007 9:31 AM
Thanks Pachita!!!! Great recap, if you're going to wreak havoc, much better to do so in the nude . . . and what's this whole calling dibs thing, I go to the bank and say, "I call the first million dollars" but do they give it to me . . . . no . . . . they don't even care and laugh in my face, so if I got naked and ran behind their glass I'm sure they'd be laughing even harder at me . . .
I do think Heather's asbergers shows in believing in a dib system, and that's she's a fire sign . . . granted, when I played sea nymphs as a child, it had a whole other meaning . . .
Painful to watch them flub on the runway though, but nice for them to do a faux PR episode! Happy turkey day all!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 19, 2007 1:16 PM