My sincere apologies for the late recap guys, but you just wouldn't believe what happened. I had just finished spreading cheer to terminally ill children at local hospitals and rawhides at the animal shelter when a van pulled up beside me and masked men threw a burlap sack over my head and tossed me into the car. They held me for a week for no reason at all. It was strange, we played a lot of poker. I tried my best to get on the internet but my captors weren't too keen on the "I swear, I just need to post me recap!" bit. Ah well, on with the show!
Now just put my head on the cat and that was my weekend.
This week the girls head to China and ni hao their way around town. Seriously, they say it constantly. It gets really annoying. Not annoying in an "okay, that was fun the first few times, but stop now" kind of way, but more in a "wow, really guys? Because if you say that one more time I will 100% bitch-slap you in the mouth and sick Chinese dragons on you" sorta way.
Anyway, the girls are all super excited to be going, and Heather says it is the one place she has always wanted to visit. I'm so sure. We see the obligatory girls-faces-in-animated-plane-windows-while-plane-traverses-the-world montage, and once in China (wow, that was fast!) they hop into a van and head out.
Chantal tells us she had no idea China was so futuristic and she feels like she's in The Jetsons. Maybe I wasn't watching closely enough but I am 96% sure I didn't see any flying cars, robot maids, or Space Needle-esque houses.
Oh, I take that back. Mr. Spacely had a boat just like that...
The van takes the girls to meet Jay1 and Jay2 for no reason at all before they head to the hotel where they will be residing. What kind of shabby digs are they put up in this time? The freaking penthouse suite. The only way I will ever get into a penthouse suite is if I dress as a bellboy and fake a room service delivery to execute one of my crazy schemes. Tee-hee! Me and my antics...
Oops, there's a catch. Because why wouldn't there be? Those zany producers only put 5 beds in the suite. 5 beds! 6 girls! The horror! All the girls run and dive for a bed and Heather is left standing. Ouch, I remember the burn of losing musical chairs well. Heather gets herself all worked up and demands that someone share with her. The other girls kind of laugh this off and tease that she sleep on the couch and I giggle because, come on, I would say the same thing to any of my friends before ultimately scooching over and sharing. Sharing is caring, folks.
Heather doesn't like the taunting and starts crying. Anyone who has ever worked with mean-spirited pre-schoolers knows that is not a smart move as the other girls start circling like sharks to blood and insisting its not a big deal, why is she so upset, its just a bed, etc etc. Chantal in the big-girl pants finally steps in and tells everyone to lay off, and says two girls will have to share, prompting Bianca and Jenah to offer. I LOVE YOU CHANTAL!
Bianca tells us "I know that Heather has a disability but its really annoying that she's 21 years old and needs other people to stand up for her." This may be true, but don't you also think (as a super mature 19 year old) that you could have been the bigger person from the beginning, Bianca? Nonsense, that would be ever so droll!
Tyra Mail! The girls will be kicking some ass the next day, woot!
The girls are brought to some big film studio where they are greeted by a tour guide. He is walking them around the facility when he is attacked by silk pajama clad Chinamen!
Ni hao. I challenge you to a pillowfight!
Silly tour guide, he's actually a martial arts artist! He tells the girls they will be learning about fight movement or something and they learn a few moves in the middle of the street.
After the lesson, the girls all change into robes and are led into a courtyard where two people are fighting! And then the are airlifted by invisible cords so it looks like they're fly-fighting! Wow, China is awesome. People are just Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon-ing all the livelong day.
The girls are informed that they will be paired off and will have to go into the poses they were taught while being lifted into the air.
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Comments (12)
Heather stays and Lisa goes?????
What are they smokin'? Lisa is amazing, and i hope she goes on to have a career that eclipses every winner this two-bit hsow has ever had...and Tyra's, too.
Jenah is hideous, Bianca is a bitch, and Heather is a spoiled child (disregarding the disability which renders her unable to relate to other humans...which I believe she exploits to get a free pass.) Chantal and Saleisha are too nice to be in such a shallow cut-throat business.
This, like Sarah's being cut, was completely arbitrary...not based on total performance through the weeks.
This show lost all credibility with me last year when the transexual Jaslene won.
1 of 12 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on November 27, 2007 1:30 PM
Bianca looks like Terrell Owens.
2 of 12 | Posted by tsl1000 | Posted on November 27, 2007 5:58 PM
First of all, Saleisha is not nice...she's buddies with Bianca so she's a bitch by-proxy. I love Heather, even if she is annoying sometimes...I like her look, and she takes good pictures. I know her Cover Girl ad sucked, but seriously? The only time we ever see those is during ANTM!! And to tsl1000: hahahahaha!!!!!!! great comment...but TO sucks, GO PACKERS!! (big game Thursday night, we should have NFL recaps...ok maybe not, just some photos of Brett Favre and all his hotness)
3 of 12 | Posted by spreadhead | Posted on November 27, 2007 6:14 PM
Okay, spreadhead. I'll have to agree with the bitchy-by-proxy comment.
And I'm totally with you on the Packers rally and the call for photos of my favorite future hall-of-famer Brett Favre!!!
4 of 12 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on November 27, 2007 8:20 PM
UGH... Saleisha is NOT nice, not just the "bitch-by-proxy"... do you remember her in this last episode? Not even wanting to share that big bed with Heather and then laughing about it while Heather is off crying.
Sure Heather is a bit spoiled, but that's no reason for anyone to be treated the way they treat her. Just b/c someone will let you walk all over them doesn't mean you should, ya know?
Anyways... it sucks to see Lisa go.
I really hope Saleisha ends up going soon b/c I can't stand her Dora looking ugly ass anymore. I have a bad feeling that the show is setting her up to win though....
5 of 12 | Posted by shollia | Posted on November 27, 2007 9:19 PM
Saleisha looks like a Tyra/Tootie love child, and I can't believe Heather is still on.
6 of 12 | Posted by Laska | Posted on November 28, 2007 4:55 AM
I am very sad to see Lisa go. She was really a great model and a seemingly nice person. Bianca has got to go. Her voice is horrible and as a person she is very nasty and annoying.
I do like Heather, but agree she is being handled with kid gloves. What a beautiful picture she takes almost every time.
7 of 12 | Posted by Rvrctylady | Posted on November 28, 2007 6:08 AM
Shollia - I laughed out loud at the Dora comment...hilarious!
8 of 12 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on November 28, 2007 6:51 AM
Grrr...I can't believe they let Lisa go. That is such BS.
No offense to Heather, but she's not a top model. I have a feeling they'll probably cut her soon because of something silly, but mainly because they know she won't ever be able to handle it. Lisa was a far better model than Heather was this season. As was pretty much everyone else.
The one picture of Heather I've actually liked this season would be her CoverGirl one and as Pach said, it looked like a totally different girl.
Ugh. ANTM, you make me sad.
9 of 12 | Posted by Two Fives and a Ten | Posted on November 28, 2007 9:31 AM
All of the Heather haters must be smoking zee crack pipe, because all of her pictures are incredible. There hasn't been a single week that she has taken a bad photo. Even the one week where she was off, she still pulled off a great photo... just not an entire roll of great photos. Her worst week is better than most of the other girls' best weeks. Besides, as someone already pointed out, the only time we see the models having to do a scripted talking thing is during the ANTM commercials. And, let's face it, they get more than 15 minutes to learn the lines. If Heather wins, they will get a coach or whatever to work with her for the commercials.
Lisa was a sweetie, but there have been a few weeks where she broke down on set and/or took blah pictures. She wasn't going to be able to handle the competition much longer, but I think she will go on to work as a model.
Lastly... I agree with whoever said that Jaslene was a tranny! My god, what were they thinking by picking her as a winner. WORST WINNER EVER! First, she was a bitch. Second, she only had that one look... which btw looks like a man. Stupid. Natasha should have won hands down!
10 of 12 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on November 29, 2007 3:16 AM
Know what? I take that back about Jaslene... she was the second worst ever. The worst... Nicole the whiner. WTF?! Has she even had a job not related to ANTM?
11 of 12 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on November 29, 2007 3:18 AM
Thank you, Cattyfan! "Transsexual Jaslene" with her indecipherable accent was the end of my rollercoaster-ride love for ANTM. Apparently, the ANTM judges don't know shit about picking model talent because all of the previous winners (with the exception of Eva) barely have a career outside of guest-starring on CW shows.
It's funny because I see Ya-ya (I forget what cycle she was on..with Eva?) EVERYWHERE - in print ads, commercials, on TV Shows, etc. Didn't they cut her because she had acne or something? What a wonderful lack of foresight that was...Is a dermatologist not in ANTM's budget?
12 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 9, 2007 5:56 AM