Does that actually work? I guess it does since you're reading this. Booya! Okay, now that I've got your attention; yes, this show is still on. And no, it has not gotten any more exciting. In fact, with each cut it has been getting less exciting, if you can believe it. My boyfriend decided to not leave the room when it came on this week and cocked his head and said "but... all of these girls are ugly." Don't worry, it wasn't one of those cheesy "they're nothing compared to you, darling" moments, this batch of ANTM hopefuls just falls short. With my strippa back stripping and Heather no longer terrorizing people 7 days after watching a nonsensical video tape, I found myself hoping throughout the shoot that the Great Wall would come crashing down on the lot of them.
Memories, like the corner of my mind...
This week the girls are heading to Beijing. They arrive home after panel and find some Heather Mail waiting for them. She left behind a really sweet letter about how she didn't make friends, she made enemies, and the girls will have to live out the rest of their lives looking over their shoulder because naked Heather just may be lurking in the shadows. But forget about that, we're in the top 4 ladies! Its officially go time! Take off your pants and give me a hug!
...misty water colored memories...
The girls are packing and lying around. Its apparent tensions are rising and Bianca is annoyed that Chantal and Saleisha are always so goddamn chipper. I could see how that would get on my nerves, but I really can't bring myself to agree with Bianca. Why is she still here? She looks like a man and has not taken a single picture this season where she doesn't look either mad or constipated.
Jenah is bummed about having been in the bottom two, which she says was 'really great, you should try it sometime." Is that sarcasm I detect? How delightful! Then she starts to cry and tells us she misses her boyfriend. SNORE
The mention of a boyfriend is interesting though, since these days they're like the Sumatran Orangutan of ANTM. Has anyone else noticed that T-Bizzle's really been cutting the fat from the show lately? She no longer has family come visit, no longer goes to visit the girls and talk about their insecurities and the harsh realities of the modeling world. She doesn't have dinner with them anymore, so gone are the days of girls outing each others eating disorders. So tragic.
Anyway, the girls head to Beijing and are dropped at an outdoor theater of sorts. Twigs and Mizz Jay are there waiting for them and tell them the story of the Four Great Beauties. Its pretty, and there are Chinese women dressed up in traditional dresses to portray each of the beauties. Its clear this is somehow related to the challenge; four beauties, four girls, 8 people Pach could care less about, for real.
Twigs and Jay send the girls to their new digs for the remainder of the challenge and it is pretty kick ass. They run around checking things out and when they come back down the stairs Tyra Mail is waiting for them along with four red boxes. Hold the phone, how in the F did those get there? Good lord, lock the doors. She's back, and out for blood....
...of the way we were...
The Tyra Mail asks the girls if they've seen the great mall and they are asked to wear their dresses the next day.
The van drops them at "The Place", which is a ginormo mall that is roughly the size of the town I grew up in. Twigs and Mizz Jay meet them and give them the rundown. They have to modernize their dresses and have 2 hours and $200 to do so. Aaaaaaand GO!
The girls all go running into the mall and head straight for... Aldo? Really? There has got to be more exciting stores in the Great Mall of China than Aldo! If it were me, I'd hit up "Panda Store" toute-de-suite and buy me some bears. There has to be a store that sells pandas somewhere, right? Beat THAT, ladies!
Tell me you wouldn't buy yourself 15 of these little critters if you could
Chantal tells us that her beauty had a basket so she's going to modern it up by getting a cute purse and stilletos. Wow! What a creative and well-thought plan to 'modern it up'. I hope the judges think its as 'moderned up' as you do!
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Comments (15)
Very good of you to extend your deadline thru New years!!! Will save on the super overnite must get there shipping!!!
Oh, your mood is right on with me . . . poor Lisa, what was she so sad about . . . it's not like they can shoot up, so she wouldn't even need clean needles like my recent tragedy!
I guess Chantal is gaining momentum, I would go with Jenah, I've thought her the best all along, photo wise, but I'm gonna guess she's not the one, coz of the whole cover girl thing . . . . that makes me think it'll got to Salisha . . .can they please admit they were wrong and restyle the girls for the finale, or is that too much to ask, T-bo! Even Chantal's bangs make her head look smaller . . .
So anyhoo, Salisha 1, Jenah 2, and Chantal 3 (tho she's got the cover girliness, so we'll see . . .
Thanks for the recap!
1 of 15 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 10, 2007 6:02 PM
All I can say is THANK GOD. Bianca was driving me CRAZY. Suck on that, Bitch! If I was one of those girls, I would have popped her right in her ugly man face. I also think she looks like a moneky, or possibly a penis with ears, as Kathy so eloquently said a couple of seasons ago.
SHE SUCKS.
I don't really care who wins at this point. I like Chantal, Jenna is hideous and frankly, I'm surprised that Saleisha has made it this far, considering that Tyra usually likes to cut the girls who are compared to her right away.
2 of 15 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on December 10, 2007 10:41 PM
oh. my. gosh. I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at the Dora the Explorer comment. And the spanish underneath it... I don't think I've laughed that hard in a while. It was awesome. A lot of the Bianca comments had me rolling, as well.
Glad she is gone. Thanks for the recap!
3 of 15 | Posted by trey | Posted on December 11, 2007 2:43 AM
Pachita this recap was awesome! Loved the Heather screencaps set to Streisand, loved that you like me listen to Xmas music non-stop after Thanksgiving...although this year I started before Thanksgiving and I have not 1 but 2 channels programmed in my car that play Xmas music 24/7. I really never liked Bianca at all, I always found her to be ugly both inside and out. It's one thing to be catty, but she was just straight up rude all the time...glad she's gone, but wish she'd gone before the strippa too...
4 of 15 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on December 11, 2007 6:07 AM
so this weekend I was watching the marathon of this season on MTV. in the first episode saleisha and chantal are talking and saleisha is like "i'm calling it - you and me in the final 2" i'm wondering if they put this clip in as foreshadowing?!
sooooo glad bianca is gone! i was so mad when she told jenah about the other mall bc just last week she got so mad at saleisha for not telling her where that go see was.
i'd like to see chantal win. i feel like tyra just likes saleisha bc she went to her t-zone camp and has modeled on the tyra show before.
5 of 15 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 11, 2007 7:06 AM
Long time reader here...I coudn't hold out any longer so I finally signed up! Loved the recap Pachita!!
I think Saleisha's set to win this thing -- not only was she a T-Zone camper, she's also been hired by Tyra to model on both her shows! I call that a conflict of interest...but maybe that's why she got the horrible "Dora" haircut. Regardless of all that, I thought her picture this week was AWESOME though I'm still pulling for Jenah to win this thing! All of her pictures have been simply amazing!!
6 of 15 | Posted by smolls | Posted on December 11, 2007 10:19 AM
good riddance, stupid bianca with your stupid face and stupid voice and stupid negative, jealous, insecure personality. so glad to see you hated her as much as i did.
also, am i the only person that was unaware that beijing and shanghai were fashion capitals of the world? i feel like tyra could send these girls to mccook, nebraska (population: 8000) and convince them that it is, indeed, a huge fashion capital of the world.
7 of 15 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on December 11, 2007 11:04 AM
wasnt tyra such a stupid american when she was talking to the chinese girls who were modeling with the antm contestents? "you are going to be WARRIORS....ARRRRR!" was it necessary to act it out? im pretty sure the girls knew why they were there.
also i was trying to remember if any of the shots that tyra has done of the contestants in any of the cycles has been in color. i think it has always been black and white until this cycle when she used SEPIA! wow she sure is a fancy photographer now!
8 of 15 | Posted by aman | Posted on December 11, 2007 11:18 AM
two more things....
im positive that saleisha did NOT jump as high as her picture showed. i would be willing to bet my left ovary (thats my favorite one!) that it was edited because the judges play favorites so damn bad.
why hasn't tyra done that judging room thing where she asks all the girls who the best and worst is out of the group? it usually causes some awesome drama.
9 of 15 | Posted by aman | Posted on December 11, 2007 11:21 AM
aman... i just watched the part of the episode where saleisha jumps. her knees definitely didn't get any higher than the belts on those background people. i guess it was edited. they must want her to win really bad - or think we are really stupid
10 of 15 | Posted by lissalynn | Posted on December 11, 2007 5:38 PM
Regular reader but I just signed up purely to say that the Dora the Explorer analogy and picture was the highlight of my finals week. So true.
11 of 15 | Posted by kristina | Posted on December 11, 2007 5:43 PM
Lissalynn,
I don't think we see every piece of film footage from every one of the girls' shoots, so maybe we didn't see the jump that ended up in Saleisha's "best shot". Of course, I'm writing this without having seen the episode, so grain of salt...
12 of 15 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 11, 2007 7:52 PM
I totally agree with "smolls"...Saleisha will win because she went to Tyra's camp and will be "such a good role model"...not a TOP fashion model, though...ugh...I hate them all this season!!
13 of 15 | Posted by melpadgett | Posted on December 12, 2007 8:26 AM
Ding-dong the witch is dead! Buh-bye, Bianca, you no-self-esteem-having twit.
Enough of my pettiness. Now - Is it just me or does that group shot look like an amateur shot taken after a long day at the amusement park? & I think the reason Saliesha looks like she jumped so high is the angle of the camera - T-Blah was on the ground when she was playing photographer.
14 of 15 | Posted by kdiva97 | Posted on December 12, 2007 10:27 AM
pach, you rule.
i enjoy the fact that if saleisha were to "follow through" with that sword, she'd wack the girl in front of her and never even make it to the wall. bummer deal, stubby.
jenah and chantal can't win because we already had a blonde barbie two seasons ago. saleisha is a shoe-in, though i'm not sure i agree. i'm also not sure how much more incessant grinning i can take from chantal. this is a very gummy season.
15 of 15 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on December 12, 2007 4:04 PM