Lisa has sorrow and Saleisha has joy, both do well. Ebony has sorrow, but she just puts a big sad face on and yucks it up. Ambreal has joy and does well, but how hard is it to put a big smile on your face and pretend to be joyful? I do it literally all day long at work even though it's the bane of my existence. Wait, that was a lie, I've actually been told people think I have a bad attitude. I would care, except I put a little too much Irish in my coffee this (read: every) morning if you catch my drift. You want joy? Call me when you feel like street-fighting with me and Cakes.
Anywho, Nontoosa tells the girls they all did a great job and tells Ebony she was cornier than a cornfield. HA HA HA. That is hilarious, Nontoosa. You should ditch Seventeen and go into standup! Seriously, why are you here?
And the winner is... Lisa! She is really excited and picks Janet and Ebony to accompany her. Yay Ebony! Though I must say, while I'm happy for them, Heather was totally cheated.
Sorry, sorry, I couldn't resist, its just too good!
The girls go and do their Seventeen shoot and it all goes off without a hitch. Back at the house the remaining girls are sitting outside talking about Lisa and how they don't want her there anymore. Say it with me now, huh? Why are they ganging up on Lisa? Is it because she's a strippa? Ugh, you guys are so insensitive. Really though, isn't Lisa nice and quiet? I'm guessing they're just threatened that she always does really well. But to that I have one thing to say: sucks to suck, ladies, deal with it! Team Lisa!
Unfortunately, this being a house full of women, there is no keeping shut of the mouths. When the girls return from their shoot they go join the others on the porch and tell them about the time they had. Everyone is giving Lisa the cold shoulder and Bianca asks her "is that makeup making you break out?" Subtle! Welcome back on the bitch train, for a minute there I thought you were trading in your tickets. Good thing I publicly declared that we hadn't made nice yet. Do me a favor though, try not to kill anyone today, k?
Lisa is upstairs and Saleisha comes up and tells her what all the girls were saying. Jenah even said "it would be better if Lisa wasn't here." Better? Why? I'm so confused... did I miss the episode where Lisa flips out and beats the girls while they're sleeping with a 2x4 screaming "STRIPPA SMASH!" before super-gluing glass shards to all the toilet seats? Because, honestly, that is the only logical explanation for all this nonsense.
Either way, my strippa is the bigger person and says she doesn't care, she knows she's doing good and she's gonna keep doing what she's doing don't stop what you're doing superfly! Oops, sorry, got a little carried away. Regardless, my girl Lisa's got on her big girl pants and isn't letting it bother her.
Tyra Mail!!! Something un-clever about never looking down and Jenah is sure they're skydiving. How would that even work? Did the chemicals from bleaching your hair to oblivion seep into your brain? That's unfortunate. I will be one happy pachita if Jenah gets the opening scene next week because she is moving farther and farther down my list.
The girls all head to the rooftop deck of the Omni where Jay1 is waiting for them. Ambreal starts freaking out halfway up the stairs because she's terrified of heights. Wait, wasn't Lisa the one who was afraid of heights for the rock-wall shoot? Lies!
I can understand a fear of heights, I've got one too, but I don't think they would actually make you do a dangerous shoot without taking the necessary precautions. Besides, Jay1 tells them they'll be posing on a platform so that it just looks like they're on the edge of the building. Ambreal, try a codiene-coolatta, it'll change your life. Just don't try to operate any heavy machinery, I don't need any more limbs lost under my supervision...
Today's photographer is Mike Rosenthal of smoking side-effects fame as well as the Cycle 7 shoot-that-shall-not-be-named. I still shudder to think about it and really hope today isn't one of ANTM's infamous lets-get-freaky shoots. Anyway, he tells the girls that today they'll be posing as... fashion gargoyles! NICE! I am really excited about this because 1) I love gargoyles and 2) the final pictures are bound to be interesting.
« The Bachelor: The Tension Mounts | Main | Kid Nation: Where's Jared? »


Comments (27)
Pachita -- I just wanted to finally comment and let you know how much I enjoy your recaps -- I let myself take a break to read them in between replying to the 300+ emails I get a day for my main job, which involves an social networking company that rhymes with Spacehook. Jenah's face is my equivalent of the Boogeyman that haunts Molly's dreams in "Heroes."
1 of 27 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on October 18, 2007 10:36 PM
Great recap! Lloyd Eisler is a Canadian pairs figure skater. He was on that Fox show Skating with Celebrities where he was paired with Kristy Swanson. Sadly, I did watch that show...moving on... He and Kristy had an affair while Lloyd's wife was pregnant and now Lloyd and Kristy are married and have a baby of their own.
2 of 27 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on October 19, 2007 6:53 AM
Ok, I haven't watched the show so I am temporarily avoiding the recap, but I saw the Gargoyles screencap and was psyched! I did love that show, I was so bummed when it was over. Ah yes, cross-species romances, nothing better than that! :)
3 of 27 | Posted by rayne888 | Posted on October 19, 2007 7:03 AM
I love your recaps they are hilarious! Team Lisa!
4 of 27 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on October 19, 2007 7:23 AM
Hey 'Chita!
Another awsome recap!
And I too LOVED Gargoyles on saturday morning! Did you also watch X-Men too? I would watch these with my son. *cough* excuse *cough*
In my day it was GI Joe, Transformers and Thundercats. LION-O, HOOOOOOO!
I'm giving Heather a pass this episode because she's been taking it and now she's dishing it out. But just the one pass...
5 of 27 | Posted by sweetblondie | Posted on October 19, 2007 11:16 AM
I am SO sick of the editing on this show revealing who's getting the boot in the first 3 minutes. In the opening scene, when Janet posted the list of chores on the fridge, Victoria's name was on it. As in, Victoria hadn't been booted yet, and they used this scene out of chronological order just to set up a storyline for Janet's imminent doom. Maybe I need help for noticing things like that, but c'mon, editors!
And I agree, Jenah looks like a cave dweller in The Descent.
Great recap, Pachita!
6 of 27 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on October 19, 2007 11:21 AM
While I think that Janet did deserve to go home, several of these photos did not look at all "gargoyle-y" either but she was the only one that judges picked on about that. There's a total lack of inconsistency with the judges critiques.
7 of 27 | Posted by murphena | Posted on October 19, 2007 12:03 PM
Thanks for the comments, guys!
Sweetblondie - it's like we're the same person! Throw in a little HeMan and SheRa and you've got my entire childhood lineup, no joke.
Lolo - WOW, great eye. I def did not notice that but will have to double check when I get home!!
I think I'll send a strongly worded letter to the Bo begging her to let me take over editing. A friend told me that there was some drama with the writers going on strike or something and that's why its so basic and formulaic, anyone else have any info on that?
8 of 27 | Posted by pachita | Posted on October 19, 2007 1:40 PM
Umm...first off, TEAM LISA! Loved her from the minute I saw her and she just rocks my world, strippa and all.
Secondly...screw Heather. I thought she was nice and I was all "Aww...asperger's!" but um, can we say bitch? I could not believe the BS that was flying out of her mouth at the speed of light describing the other girls. I would just have been like, "The judges lied. You're not pretty." and be done with her. Blech.
Jenah is so not as attractive as they're making her out to be---she's absolutely horrifying sometimes...and a little weird. She keeps talking about how "different" she is...but she's not. She's skinny, bleach blonde and bug-eyed. I've definitely seen that brand of model.
I had Janet called from the opening scene too..come on ANTM, throw me a curveball!
sigh, but i do love the recaps! : )
9 of 27 | Posted by Two Fives and a Ten | Posted on October 19, 2007 1:56 PM
Please, post that hilarious picture of Heather as many times as you want. Heck, I'm one of those people who still hasn't gotten enough of the Lisi face-plant pic from last season's Survivor! (If you can ever find a way to work it in, I'd certainly appreciate it!)
10 of 27 | Posted by jayhawkanne | Posted on October 19, 2007 4:20 PM
Please, post that hilarious picture of Heather as many times as you want. Heck, I'm one of those people who still hasn't gotten enough of the Lisi face-plant pic from last season's Survivor! (If you can ever find a way to work it in, I'd certainly appreciate it!)
11 of 27 | Posted by jayhawkanne | Posted on October 19, 2007 4:22 PM
Great recap Pachita!
I was real disappointed in the posing challenge on the ice. Have none of these girls ever seen actual ice skating? I didn't think any of them used their body enough, it was all in their face.
Also, Jenah's hair, yikes! Same thing happened to Brit's in the last cycle and they had to rip it out. I think they should stop giving weaves to girls who have no clew what to do with them!
12 of 27 | Posted by frog77 | Posted on October 19, 2007 5:03 PM
Nice recap, Pachita. One nit-pick, though: you sure are fickle because I remember you being on Team I Don't Remember Lisa's Name Because She's Boring in the first couple recaps. Way to jump on board the Lisa train now that it's pulling away from the station.
Btw, horn-tooting time: I called Lisa as the strongest of the competitors from jump and predict her to win.
13 of 27 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 19, 2007 5:34 PM
Oops, my apologies, Pachita. On second thought, I'm confusing you with another recapper-of-ANTM who-shall-not-be-named.
Team Lisa!!
Ok, carry on.
14 of 27 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 19, 2007 5:40 PM
Somebody please tell me how to post a screencap for this post...html, img..??? I have a great side by side screenshot for jenah...its all i can think of everytime i look at her
15 of 27 | Posted by ny2duval | Posted on October 19, 2007 6:40 PM
ny2duval -
If you'd like, you can email it to me as a jpeg... it needs to be uploaded into the server and I can add it on to next weeks? I don't know that a picture can be put into the comments section...
16 of 27 | Posted by pachita | Posted on October 19, 2007 7:58 PM
Lolo- I too noticed the victoria thing
Great recap pach, jenah's hair reminds me of amy winehouse's which is DISGUSTING
17 of 27 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on October 20, 2007 8:59 AM
Lolo- I too noticed the victoria thing
Great recap pach, jenah's hair reminds me of amy winehouse's which is DISGUSTING
18 of 27 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on October 20, 2007 9:00 AM
i'm not an expert on Asperger's, but i do know that Heather's comments fit in with the poor social skills and inability to appreciate social context cues aspects of the disorder. i thought that she was being way too honest--because she may not realize that her comments could be perceived as bitchy--but i didn't think that she was trying to be mean. it seemed like someone was asking her questions and she was giving her honest opinion. she was certainly honest about what she thinks she needs to improve on, so i don't think she was being bitchy at all. it's hard to tell with the editing, but that's just my opinion.
someone really needs to give Jenah some advice on how to take care of her nappy weave. she looks like a junky. (that was me intentionally being bitchy, just to be clear)
oh, and as for gargoyles--i can't even tell you how much i love that show--and not just because the voices were actors from star trek tng. i still watch it on toondisney. what? it's a good show!
19 of 27 | Posted by p.q. | Posted on October 20, 2007 9:02 PM
Thanks p.q - that hadn't occurred to me about Heather, but does make sense...
And you just BLEW. MY. MIND. They still play Gargoyles?!?! Consider it recorded. :)
20 of 27 | Posted by pachita | Posted on October 21, 2007 5:40 AM
Hey pachita I couldn't find you email address on the site anywhere so I sent it to the staff address requesting a forward to you.
21 of 27 | Posted by ny2duval | Posted on October 21, 2007 9:05 AM
Pachita:
You missed a killer movie this past weekend on the one and only Sci Fi network. A group of Nazis reanimated stone gargoyles to fight in World War 2. it rocked.
22 of 27 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 22, 2007 9:24 AM
I, too, was disappointed this week at how it only took about 2 minutes to figure out who was going home.
However, I do have to give props to the editors for the fake-out from episode one- I was fully prepared to have Ebony be the bitch queen of the series, and am surprised at how show and nice she seems to be.
They totally faked us out with Bianca.
23 of 27 | Posted by madpuppy | Posted on October 22, 2007 9:30 AM
At last I have seen the blessed episode (f*n Tivo (and not T.Vo the recapper--u rule!)
Well, I did have a heads up that Miss Janet of the white undies was toast this week, and yep, couldn'ta missed it from the start . . . . . lame guys, I liked her, but she was too short and guess not too great on the faking it for posing . . . She never really did shine like she did at the first interview with the Kitty kat wax and swift spank on T-bo. (possibly my favorite ANTM moment evah!)
Thanks for another joyous recap, Patch--had to read it b4 I started work, ugh! I too, have a drawer of crotchless panties for laundry day . . . hmmm . . . these wonder twin moments have to stop!!!!!! or not!
Much love to you and Cakes, and frankly, the poses were not very Gargoyle . . . don't they crouch all the time, do they ever stand and jazzersize!? I was thinking more psuedo doggie style poses than stand up and catch wind . . .
I also agree with PQ on the Heather rant--I found it fun to hear her go at it, but, in a sense, it was her observations, fairly constructive, and dead-on to me! Go Heather, Lisa, and Ebony!!!!
24 of 27 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 22, 2007 10:08 AM
So I'm guessing that a lot of viewers of America's Next Top Model have no clue as to what Aspergers is.
I've have cared for children and adults all along the autism spectrum.
The fact that Heather has been strong and brave enough to even come on the show fascinates me.
Having Aspergers is as if your brain has no filters. Any thoughts will come out, good, bad, mundane. There is no scale or perception. She won't know what she's saying is bitchy. To her it's just honesty. And physically she's amazing. People suffering on the autism spectrum struggle with their motor neuron capabilties. I know sufferers who can't even open a bottle of soda so for her to attempt an ice skating or trampoline challenge just blows me away.
Big up the gorgeous and fascinating Heather.
25 of 27 | Posted by kelsianna | Posted on October 22, 2007 12:16 PM
So I'm guessing that a lot of viewers of America's Next Top Model have no clue as to what Aspergers is.
I've have cared for children and adults all along the autism spectrum.
The fact that Heather has been strong and brave enough to even come on the show fascinates me.
Having Aspergers is as if your brain has no filters. Any thoughts will come out, good, bad, mundane. There is no scale or perception. She won't know what she's saying is bitchy. To her it's just honesty. And physically she's amazing. People suffering on the autism spectrum struggle with their motor neuron capabilties. I know sufferers who can't even open a bottle of soda so for her to attempt an ice skating or trampoline challenge just blows me away.
Big up the gorgeous and fascinating Heather.
26 of 27 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on October 22, 2007 12:18 PM
Lloyd Eisler is a Canadian pairs figure skater. He and his (skating) partner Isabelle Brasseur went on to perform some of the most inventive and dangerous stunts in the history of ice-skating. They are always a thrill to watch - I've seen them at Stars on Ice three times. He strikes me as being a bit of a douchebag though - and his horrendous facial hair only backs that up.
Go Lisa and Heather and Ebony! I hate Bianca's voice - I hope she crashes and burns. Same for Jenah -she is so bug-eyed and creepy. Chantal is stuck up and annoying. Ambreal and Sarah I like, but they are forgettable. Saleisha is okay, but she just isn't my favorite.
And woot for Gargoyles! I too watched that show all the time when I was younger - my brother and I used to play Gargoyles (where we pretended we were them) and with Gargoyle action figures and Barbies all the time (my Barbies were neighbours with his Gargoyles - it was a good time).
Great recap!
27 of 27 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on October 22, 2007 3:39 PM