Welcome back gang for another not-so-exciting installment of Americas Next Top Model! While the episode itself was ho-hum, I must say one large WOW to the ending. Its not that I was surprised, it's just... well, yeah I guess I was surprised. Find out why, after the jump!
This just in: T-Bo is not to be messed with.
The episode starts off with Ebony talking to Jenah at the house. So who do we think is going home? Ebony, right? Well, let's hope for T-Bo's sake its not. She says she's going to try to smile more. Jenah tells her she needs to bring it in panel. Jenah, what YOU need to do is start wearing a paper bag over your head when you don't have your makeup professionally done because, for serious, no one wants to look at that.
Courtesy of ny2duval. The resemblance is striking, no?
Elsewhere in the house, Ambreal is on the phone with her dad telling him about being in the bottom two. The harsh reality of not being ANTM material is getting to her and it's not fun. Harsh realities never are. Once when I was young I found a piece of sidewalk chalk in front of my neighbor's house. 'Kick ass!' I thought to myself, only with fewer expletives because I was not of cursing age yet, and began to write. I was just putting a heart over the I in my name (because whatevs) when the chalk broke in two, revealing a brown center. 'Strange,' I thought, 'sidewalk chalk isn't supposed to be...' and that's when it hit me; I was holding a stick of petrified dog poo.
Pachita life lesson #1: Unexpected sidewalk chalk, while exciting and incredibly intriguing, is more trouble than its worth.
Anyway, Ambreal's dad gives her some advice and tells her she needs to focus and not worry about having fun all the time. Oh, thanks HITLER. I'll stop trying to enjoy life and get back to the wonderful world of boring straight away.
Bianca is sitting outside talking to Heather's twin sister, who is not afflicted with a socially crippling disease and loves her some makeup. Heather, you are beautiful, and I really like you, but what is with the midday mask? Seriously, I don't think I've worn that much makeup at one time since my debut as "Chorus Girl 18" in Fiddler on the Roof 15 years ago. The odd couple talks about their strengths and weaknesses in the competition and Bianca tells Heather she just needs to practice (in regards to her profile shots).
Traditioooooooon, tradition!
The next morning the doorbell rings and Ambreal opens it to find Tyson Beckford. Hello yummy! The girls run around like chickens with their heads cut off while Tyson basks in the glory of being able to make girls cream themselves at first sight.
When he manages to gather the brood, he tells them they each have to go into the kitchen and bring back one item. After the items have been chosen he tells them they are each going to be the spokesperson for the item they picked, but they have to do it all sexy-like. Good thing I wasn't there, I would have picked a spork. Jenah feels my pain because she grabbed a handheld blender. And the side-by-side of Jenah and the torturer hits a little closer to home...
The girls take turns trying to turn Tyson on as I karate-chop alliteration all around the room. Chantal has a popsicle which, I mean, come on, Mizz Jay could make that look sexy.
Ebony has a kettle and does something super lame and shy with it. Heather grabbed a wine glass and talks about sophistication and how it's fingerprint-proof. Which comes in handy, you know, in case you decide to sit for a nice glass of vintage Merlot while still in the house of the person you just murdered.
When all the kitchen object nonsense is over, Tyson leaves and the girls all die a little inside. Not to worry, ladies, Tyra Mail is here and informs the girls that they need to recognize their cause.
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Comments (19)
So I know this doesn't have much to do with the episode but that picture of Tyra on the front of the recap made me think...
Tyra is always giving people on her show the crappiest makeovers (completely fugging them up) with pixie cuts, going BALD, etc... when the hell in Tyra's career has she ever had anything that wasn't a pretty, flowy weave? She's never even worn her hair in an afro! I want to see her shave herself bald, because that's the only she can justify constantly telling those poor girls to stop bitching and accept the ugly haircut she just handed out!
1 of 19 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on October 28, 2007 7:34 PM
It would have been awesome if Tyra had still made Ambreal leave. Ambreal must model her ass off next week
2 of 19 | Posted by carol | Posted on October 28, 2007 9:24 PM
chalk. poo. milk. shooting. out my nose.
that went far and beyond just being a witty, funny piece of writing. it was gold jerry, gold.
3 of 19 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 29, 2007 10:26 AM
Great recap as usual pach-
and i must agree tyra is losing the ability to keep her true bitchy personality hidden under that fake one she likes to show the world. I agree shia i would love for tyra to show the world what her real hair looks like minus any weaves, wigs or extensions. And not to throw the race card out there(im not even black) but i notice t-bo is particular hard on the black girls. Psycho raging rant on Tiffany ring a bell??
4 of 19 | Posted by ny2duval | Posted on October 29, 2007 10:43 AM
Yay!!! New recap!!!! I so loved the poo-chalk, amazing that it worked . . . who knew all the uses of dried of dog poo, that we just waste scooping into plastic bags . . . curb your dog indeed!!!
Guess the episode was dull, but I do get a thrill everytime Heather turns into her confident and beautiful twin!!!! She looked sooooo amazing in that MJB photo shoot--AND--the photographer was KIND enough to come over and move her head about . . . unlike that with holding Mr. J . . . Harrruuummmpphh!!!!
And Shia, believe or not, T-bo's done all those looks . . . maybe just part of the show, but the pix just before panel of her showing us how it's supposed to be done have been bald and afros etc. they may be on the site, but I've no need to see more of her.
Sad Ebony left . . . oh well . . . Good luck Ambreal, and Lisa, quit spreading your legs all over the place--Looks awkward, and I'm the only one . . .
5 of 19 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 29, 2007 12:02 PM
Did anyone else think that it was beyond low to show Ebony's audition film at the end of the show? That was just tastless.
Also, Tyra is a MEGA BITCH. We've known that for a while, and it kind of makes the show fun, but railing on a teenage girl about changing her mind? Looks like Tyra could use one of her own summer camps.
The problem is when people build a person into a label. It makes that person believe their own b.s.
Great recap.
6 of 19 | Posted by neillfilm | Posted on October 29, 2007 12:27 PM
I guess coz I saw it coming, I wasn't as taken aback by the whole T-bo seeethe as some have been, I agree her DIVA-ness is part of the show, and I found the audition tape to be melancholy . . . maybe she did change her mind, maybe she couldn't handle the pressure . . . who knows . . . I think the meltdown was because T-bo had one picture in her hand and it didn't match the one staying!
Calling her a quitter was low, though, she may not have had a disability like Heather, but I'm sure the parts of the story we don't know of being a crack baby have their own devistating affects--I was rooting for her to pull it out as Heather has been doing, but alas and sniff . . .
7 of 19 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 29, 2007 1:31 PM
THIS is why I've never been able to stand Tyra Banks.
Calling Ebony a quitter was low - she doesn't want to do it, so why make her? Say I have a job that I hate - why should I have to suffer through it? It's my life - does sucking it up and being miserable make me a better person?
And I agree that showing Ebony's audition tape was a dick move. Too low Tyra, too low.
8 of 19 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on October 29, 2007 2:57 PM
Pachita YOU FUNNY!!
I hated when Tyra said "It is very Unattractive to be a quitter, so you can go" eeeuuuw...she's a fugly bitch, that made me not like her at all.
9 of 19 | Posted by jedaqueen | Posted on October 30, 2007 2:59 AM
I totally agree with Georgiababe. If being on a corny reality show isn't Ebony's dream, that is her choice. I think that Tyra was WAY off when she said that Ebony couldnt handle being told what to do. I think that Ebony was just beaten down by the whole thing to the point where she had enough. I also think it was pretty lame of Tyra picking a shot of Ebony where she was SNARLING. I really like Ebony and I am sure that she could model just fine on her own if that is what she decides she wants to do.
10 of 19 | Posted by DezPez | Posted on October 30, 2007 7:55 AM
Hey Pachita - I just wanted to tell you I went to the So You Think You Can Dance tour, it was awesome, I hope you got a chance to go. Okay, back to reading the recap!
11 of 19 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on October 30, 2007 1:36 PM
The whole thing seemed rather contrived to me. Think about it - Tyra is the Executive Producer on this show. I'm guessing the other producers let her know that Ebony didn't want to stay anymore, so our dear Ms. Banks decided to see what would happen if she pulled Ebony's pic rather than the other girl's.
Drama - this is the only reason she keeps some of these girls on the show when in reality they would never make in the real world as a model (see Jade - who the bleep is going to hire THAT nutjob?). That's why Bianca is going to go far in this so-called competition.
Alright - got that off my chest. Can't wait for Wednesday!!!
12 of 19 | Posted by kdiva97 | Posted on October 30, 2007 1:51 PM
pach- i friggin heart the way you write and i'm amazed that you actually wrote your whole name without the poostick breaking!!! impressive.
anyways... From the first episode i got the impression that ebony was super bitch. but now she reminds me of a lost puppy. cold. in the rain. I'm waiting for the episodes to get better. And i dont feel it happening soon.
GO TEAM HEATHER
jedaqueen- you would call her a fugly slut
13 of 19 | Posted by laurajean | Posted on October 30, 2007 3:22 PM
I just watched the episode and all I can say is "Wow!" I've never hated Tyra before but she's really showing her bitch colors in this ep. Ebony has been unhappy for a long time now. Didn't they see this coming? There's no way Ebony's picture was better than Ambreal's. Tyra just doesn't like Ambreal for some reason. I've noticed Tyra doesn't really like models with large features. Hmm...Have ya'll noticed that Tyra chooses the models' "best pics" to show panel? Hello! She can sabotage or gift someone with her photo selection right there. Any of those models could have better pics, but if Tyra doesn't like them, you think she's gonna choose the good ones? Hell to the no. Tyra only likes other celebrities. Always kissing the panel's asses but treating the girls like shit. Boooo! Team Ebony for telling Tyra where she can stick that photo.
14 of 19 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 30, 2007 4:59 PM
Also, while we're still Tyra bashing, I HATE how
A)Tyra always has to do the same photo shoot idea that the girls do - ego issues much?
B)She always seems to make it about herself somehow
C)The "demonstrations" she does are ridiculous. Like the whole "squinting but smiling" crap she was doing. You look like an idiot. STOP.
There. Thank you for listening to my rant.
15 of 19 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on October 30, 2007 10:15 PM
I don't know if I'm the only one that noticed but if you look back at past pictures neither Jenah nor Bianca have taken any pictures that are completely straight on to the camera. I wonder why Tyra was giving Heather such a hard time about it.
16 of 19 | Posted by lissalynn | Posted on October 31, 2007 2:00 PM
georgiababe - D) All of the above!!!!
When she does the same photo shoot, its like she's saying - here's the ideal, the model of perfection.
Her over enunciating her words drives me up the wall too.
17 of 19 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on November 2, 2007 12:39 PM
I love Heather. I think she is awkward and gangly, but has a very gorgeous distinct look. I hope she wins.
I can't stand Ebony and Ambreal. I think Ambreal is ugly as hell, and Ebony just has a bad attitude. I'm happy she copped out, and I'm happy that the bitch called her on it. I think Ebony needs to be kicked off her high horse.
I love seeing everyone be so jealous over Heather. It's probably the one time in Heather's life when people have honestly been envious of her. Power to Heather!
BTW, that dog poo, hysterical. I was laughing out loud at work.
18 of 19 | Posted by Twinklegirl | Posted on November 12, 2007 12:41 PM
I love Heather. I think she is awkward and gangly, but has a very gorgeous distinct look. I hope she wins.
I can't stand Ebony and Ambreal. I think Ambreal is ugly as hell, and Ebony just has a bad attitude. I'm happy she copped out, and I'm happy that the bitch called her on it. I think Ebony needs to be kicked off her high horse.
I love seeing everyone be so jealous over Heather. It's probably the one time in Heather's life when people have honestly been envious of her. Power to Heather!
BTW, that dog poo, hysterical. I was laughing out loud at work.
19 of 19 | Posted by Twinklegirl | Posted on November 12, 2007 12:43 PM