So I know we all could have done without a "season so far" episode, but not all hope is lost. We were given a couple of things to discuss. Not very exciting things, mind you, although Mila did make a guest appearance to remind me to sleep with the light on. But hey, I work with what I've got. So, what did we find out about the girls that we didn't know yet? Chantal's really a man! Bianca's a zoophiliac! Heather was misinformed and actually has... nothing at all. Find out what went down behind the scenes, after the jump!
And my therapist thought I was making such great progress...
The episode begins with T-Bo the Bitchiful telling us about the girls' journey. We are whisked away to the first episode where the semi-finalists are chosen. Tyra personally calls all of them (I'm so sure) and there's home video of the girls receiving the call. What I'd like to know is, why were all of these people conveniently being recorded when T-Bo called them? What if one of them hadn't picked up? Would she have left a message saying "This is Tyra Banks, I have some really exciting news for you. Call me back to learn more about this amazing opportunity!"? I personally screen all my phone calls and if I don't know your number its check ya later, hombre.
In some of the new footage we are treated to is a girl named Spontaiouse. That's right, her name is Spontaniouse. T-Bo asks how she got that name and it involves a reenactment of her birthing. The word unbearable comes to mind and I wonder why her name isn't "Painful."
Hey! Remember Heather back when she had Asperger's? We see her intro to the panel as she clunks her way to the front of the stage and I remember why I never thought she'd make it very far. Well played, Heather.
We see once again the choosing of the final 13 which, incidentally, is not exciting the second time either. Later, in a van, Ebony is sassing it up by saying she isn't here to make friends, it's a competition, and ignoring the rest of the girls. Bianca is not crazy about her attitude and tells the camera "you don't have to be a bitch and be competitive." Oh, really? Funny you should call someone else out on being a bitch, B. In the spirit of naming children ridiculous names that are actually adjectives, Bianca should have been named Hypocritte (extra t added for classiness). In other news; did anyone else notice that T-Bo is really pushing the sassy Ebony footage?
Yadda yadda yadda... more footage we've already seen... Victoria being annoying, Ebony sassing, Saleisha being so freaking cute with long hair I endure a blackout rage or two, Jenah looking... normal-ish with darker, shorter hair. Ah pre-makeover delight. What the crap, in past seasons the makeovers have been great! Still bitter, Pach? Yes. Yes I am.
Back at the house with the top 12, Kimberly et al inform us in the confessional room that there was some wild and crazy shit going down in the ANTM house. BIANCA... RAN INTO... THE GLASS DOOR! Can you even believe how wild and crazy these girls are?!
Have no fear, Gasmii, there is not a new strain of glass door that is 100% undetectable to the naked eye, they just don't have glass in Queens. I know because I grew up on Long Island. Let's just say the winters really bring out the Darwin in all of us. The blizzard of '85 killed off half the town.
Anyway, the girls all gather around the Door of Despair and laugh like hyenas because Bianca left a face print on the door when she slammed into it. First things first, the girl hit the side of her face. Second, what was she doing sprinting out the door with her head turned? Third, it looks like homegirl used a slice of pizza to wipe off the face-print. Good lord, T-Bo, get Noxzema to sponsor an episode or two.
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Comments (5)
Killed it again. Didn't think that a recap of a recap could be funny, but it's nice when you point out what happens when pros aren't involved.
Hey do you think the writing strike will hurt Top Model...? Probably not.
1 of 5 | Posted by neillfilm | Posted on November 5, 2007 8:40 AM
Pach, this eppy left me numb-headed (not that most episodes leave me ready for my Novel Peace Prize, but still...). Thank goodness you can still crank out a great recap and make us laugh!
2 of 5 | Posted by TheGreatAndPowerfulShaz | Posted on November 5, 2007 9:42 AM
Hey Pachita . . . you left out the plunging of the sadness-bombs!!! Who knew that Janet could work a plunger!!!
I liked the whole game they played sharing their deep dark secrets . . . seems to be why Bianca is loosing her bitch, and why the girls seem more bonded.
For top three I still like Lisa and Heather . . . I had thought Salisha in the beginning, but I guess now I'd say Bianca or Chantel. I'm pretty sure Ambreal will go this time too, so it's going to be weeks before this gets exciting again!!!!
3 of 5 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 5, 2007 11:00 AM
Thanks guys, glad you enjoyed it - the episode was a total waste of time!
neillfilm - I have it on good authority that the writers strike will not affect a single word uttered on that show.
Judd! I forgot to mention the plunging, you're right! How is she the only girl in the house that knew how to work a plunger? Seriously?
I had Saleisha as one of the top girls from the beginning, but I'm not so sure anymore. I also don't know that Bianca has the right attitude to make it and her pictures are not very consistent yet, but there's time...
Strippa all the way!
4 of 5 | Posted by pachita | Posted on November 6, 2007 8:04 AM
Can't wait for the new recap, but I wanted to amend my top picks . . . I totally forgot about Jennah . . . I'd safely put her ahead of Bitchanca and Chantel . . . but will see . . .
5 of 5 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 9, 2007 11:30 AM