This week on Americas Next Top Model, three words. Enrique. Freaking. Iglesias. Oh, Enrique, how I te quiero! Remember the good old college days when KB and I would do interpretive dances to "Escape" after a night out at the bars? Or even while still AT the bar if we were lucky enough to find a juke box that played your sweet, sweet, melodies? We sure were mucho loco, no? Or how about that time you cast Jennifer Whore Hewitt instead of me for your "Hero" video even though we both know fully well that I would have made a fantasmical negligee-clad captive? Its okay, I've forgiven you. Let's just go back to the way we were. Okay, mi piquena col? Besos!
You can be MY hero, baby
Yes, friends, THE Enrique Iglesias made a cameo this week to shoot his music video. Allow me to break it down for you: You see, no one watches music videos these days, so not as much dinero goes into making them. Hence the decision to make it an ANTM challenge.*** Free extras, woot woot! And who better to teach the girls the necessary music-video-slut-crawl? My girl T-Bo!
Actually, ladies and gents, as much as it pains me to admit it, the T-Bo and I have had a bit of a falling out. Ebony stole my heart and T got jealous and stole it back from her, stomped all over it, then lit it on fire and had a stray cat defecate on the ashes. She really is quite rancorous. It got creepy and several restraining orders have already been filed. Anywho... we've got some more Bitchy Bianca this week as well as Conceited Chantal, Livin La Vida Lisa, and How-is-she-still-winning-everything Heather.
We kick off this week's episode with the girls discussing Ebony's departure. They all seem to agree that its better that she went home and left the space for someone who really wanted it. Ambreal is really nervous because she knows she has got to STEP IT UP this week if she wants to stick around.
Sarah is also nervous because everyone keeps commenting on all her weight loss. Listen up chunk, if everyone were telling me I was losing weight I would bat my eyelashes and thank them as I spun around saying things like "Why, me? I've hardly changed anything in my routine!" or "Oh, how you do go on! Silly you with your honesty and your flattery and what are you doing later?" Plus, wouldn't you rather be a healthy and comfortable in your body than "plus sized"? I'm confused.
So who do we think will go home this week? Good thing the editors tells us in the first minute who its going to be! I mean, if it isn't Ambreal it's got to be Sarah, right? Thanks for making me think less, ANTM. I'll be sure to thank (read: sue) you when I've got Alzheimer's at age 30.
At the house that night a bunch of the girls are in the hot tub talking about how they think they'll make it to the top. Bianca starts in with her self loathing veiled as judgement veiled as complaint by saying that she's never seen Heather do anything extraordinary with her face. Heather, believing they have to stay in character from the gargoyle shoot for the whole competition, is crouched next to them denying that it's easy for her.
She goes inside and puts on two full faces of makeup before telling us that maybe she just has a better time posing because she's an artist, so she actually thinks about the final product, not just herself in the picture. Seriously, she looks better without all that.
Tyra Mail!!! The girls gather around and read aloud "This is why I'm hot; this is why you're not."
I'm guessing this isn't what you were referring to...
The next day the girls arrive at a dance studio where there are nude leotards and heels waiting for all of them. T-Bo, this is incredibly similar to your talk show. Yes, there is a writers strike, but can't you at least pick different colored leotards to embarrass people in?
They're all waiting around for something when who walks in? Tyra! Not that it's a surprise to the viewers; I've been watching the big T slide down the wall in previews all week. Have you noticed that not even the models seem all that excited when she makes her surprise appearances?
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Comments (13)
ugh i was so mad about sarah this week. tyra is a big ole hypocrite. love your body! just dont change it from the size we cast you at or your ass is grass. what a b. of course the girl is gonna lose weight living with a bunch of tiny model girls. im sure their eating habits and the food that is in the house is different than what sarah is used to!
and i almost jumped through my tv and killed bianca when she was standing in front of the mirror saying she was the heaviest girl in the house when sarah was standing right next to her. seriously.
whew...had to vent. antm is getting hard on my nerves.
1 of 13 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 10, 2007 5:05 AM
Tyra isn't interested in having a plus sized model on the show or winning the show - so why does she keep putting them in the mix. What a bitch.
2 of 13 | Posted by lestermaddox | Posted on November 10, 2007 2:31 PM
Tyra isn't interested in having a plus sized model on the show or winning the show - so why does she keep putting them in the mix. What a bitch.
3 of 13 | Posted by lestermaddox | Posted on November 10, 2007 2:32 PM
I'm Still trying to figure out exactly why Bianca is still on this show. I thought she did just as poorly in the video as Chantal did. She's stiff as a board in all of her pictures & She's got the personality of a rabid tasmanian devil - Oh Wait - THAT'S WHY SHE'S STILL THERE!!!
I personally didn't think that Sarah did all that badly & it didn't look to me like she was losing weight (Her thighs were huge!) & her pictures were always good... I know, I know, I'm not a professional pretty picture taker like Nigel, but the girl didn't look any different from her earlier pictures.
But that's just my opinion...
4 of 13 | Posted by kdiva97 | Posted on November 11, 2007 8:31 PM
Lester, I think Tyra adds a "plus-sized" girl to the mix for the sake of her image, just to say she supports positive body images, blahblahblah. Some of the best contestants are the bigger girls, but they ALWAYS get cut too early.
Funny recap, Pachita. Thanks for reminding me that I used to like Enrrrrrique Iglesias back in college. Also, I haven't seen this show in awhile but it seems from your latest recaps that Heather is probably going to win. They are really trying to sell us on her disabled awesomeness. From what I've seen so far, I don't think any of them are as good as previous contestants.
5 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 11, 2007 8:58 PM
I'm sorry...I have to agree with the judges on the whole Sarah thing...you never see a normal sized model...models are either plus sized or super skinny, like Tyra said...Sarah would never make it in the industry and to be honest, I'm not really sure why they cast her in the first place, being that that is what they said from the beginning.
Bianca seems to have mutiple personality disorder...I don't love any of the girls really. It's funny bc mtv and vh1 have been showing marathons of earlier seaons and they were so much more likeable!
6 of 13 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:58 AM
Good point, Yankeesfan. Sarah was never really one of the power-players.
Actually, I was watching the earlier episodes this weekend as well and it used to be a whole different show. What I thought was hilarious (and its probably what prompted my comments on the plus sized models) is that in the very first episode Janice Dickinson said during the deliberation "I just don't think America's Next Top Model will ever be plus sized, it just won't happen, that's not the way the industry works" or something like that.
7 of 13 | Posted by pachita | Posted on November 12, 2007 8:12 AM
thanks for looking up the video, Pachita, saves me the trouble, as I immediately went to indemand hunting . . . .what a rip--like anyone would even know it was our grrls in there . . . the Bianca shot had to go, though, and I thought Sarah was sporatically fierce in her shot, but I guess being that self-conscious wasn't going to serve her in the end anyway--imagine a modeling show wanting you to gain weight to be a plus size . . . sigh . . . . I actually do find this to be a likable cast, not sure why, guess the strippa and Heather fill quite a void . . . I was glad to see the wonders a banana could do in bringing someone back to life . . . now I only hope this isn't running against Project Runnway, my other fave . . . is it too much to ask?! thanks for the recap!!!!
8 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 12, 2007 3:59 PM
How about having the previous winners of ANTM be the models for PR. I would love to see Adrianne or CariDee working the runway for Nina and MK.
Or how about a PR challenge to design a frock for Miss Jay. ;-)
9 of 13 | Posted by pret-a-porter | Posted on November 13, 2007 2:56 PM
How about having the previous winners of ANTM be the models for PR. I would love to see Adrianne or CariDee working the runway for Nina and MK.
Or how about a PR challenge to design a frock for Miss Jay. ;-)
10 of 13 | Posted by pret-a-porter | Posted on November 13, 2007 3:00 PM
How about having the previous winners of ANTM be the models for PR. I would love to see Adrianne or CariDee working the runway for Nina and MK.
Or how about a PR challenge to design a frock for Miss Jay. ;-)
11 of 13 | Posted by pret-a-porter | Posted on November 13, 2007 3:01 PM
One things for sure, Miss Jay needs a good frock desperately!!!! ; )
12 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 14, 2007 10:53 AM
as much as i l love heather. there is no way she will win. she can't speak well and a cover girl model must be able to complete a sentence. BUT damn she is sexy as hell. i call jenah and salesha the 2 front runners.
13 of 13 | Posted by heehaw | Posted on November 19, 2007 6:12 PM