Tyra tells the girls that there are difference sorts of sexy, but model sexy is the sexiest. She regales them with stories from her heyday and talks about all the music videos she was in as if it were yesterday (and not 20 years ago). They do a couple of exercises including the sexified runway walk, flirting with the mirror, the wall slide, and sexy music video crawling.
Flirting with the mirror is one of the lamest things I've ever seen in my life. Let me see how I can describe this... its basically looking into the mirror and flirting with yourself. You know, hugging yourself and blowing kisses, but then acting really coy about the kisses and flipping your hair over your eyes to pretend to hide from yourself, even though you really want it? It's kind of like that.
Ambreal has a hard time with this because 1) she isn't much of a model and 2) she doesn't like making a total ass of herself, Tyra. T-Bo, on the other hand, LOVES this exercise and they stop just as I'm winding up to throw a wine bottle at the screen.
The wall slide is your basic drunk-and-dancing-with-your-girlfriends-at-a-bar-even-though-its-not-that-kind-of-place-and-all-the-sober-people-are-probably-still-laughing-at-you downwards shimmy, slowed down to what I can only assume is sexy music video model speed. The girls all do a fairly good job (because, really, how can you mess that up?) except for Lisa because her leg muscles aren't strong enough for her to lift herself back up. Say it with me now, whaaa? How is it possible that my strippa can't do the strippiest thing of all?
Last but not least is the sexy crawl. It's like crawling, only sexier. All I know is T-Bo hands out kneepads and I start handing out BJ jokes like it's my job. The girls all go and do fine because... they're crawling. You may as well have asked them to breathe sexily. It just isn't difficult. OR is it that I'm such a natural that its like I'm a supermodel already?!?! Hey, the signs in my head point to yes, just let me have this.
Actually, I spoke to soon. Bianca goes and does not do well, she has the legs down, but keeps her torso raised and doesn't stretch out her legs. Plus, she looks hella pissed the whole time. Tyra keeps correcting her and she gets frustrated.
Next up is Heather and Bianca immediately starts in with how much better she did. Bianca's crawl was bad but Heather's is just scary. Its very, how do you say... clunky. She channels her very best dead-child-stuck-in-a-well-with-a-vengance and really nails it.
She never sleeps
Bianca tells us she is just waiting for T-Bo to go off on her. Aside from the fact that its pretty amusing the girls think nothing of T-Bo "going off" on one of them, its good to see B showing her true colors again, nice is so boring. Needless to say, Tyra commends Heather on a job well done because she has a disability she is such a kick ass crawler.
Bianca is pissed and tells us that Heather can do no wrong. This is cleverly cut with Tyra telling us that Heather has a Tim Burton-esque sexuality about her as we see Heather stalking her way around the room.
I don't know, I'm not really into dolls.
When all the nonsense is over I rewind, watch it all over again, and shake my head sadly. Tyra is out of breath the entire time and they really aren't doing anything that rigorous. I mean, hey, be whatever size you want, but at least be healthy!
Tyra Mail!!! It says something about musicians and I pull on my Team Enrique shirt and grab the nearest anything to use as a mic in anticipation of my Latin love (who, incidentally, loses major points for having the ANTM girls in his music video. In his defense though, I blame the industry [see intro]).***
The girls are led the next day onto a stage where they meet Jesse Terrerro, a popular music video director. He tells them they're going to be working with an international musician and the girls all go bonkers trying to guess who it is. I'll give you a hint, it's not Celine Dion.
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Comments (13)
ugh i was so mad about sarah this week. tyra is a big ole hypocrite. love your body! just dont change it from the size we cast you at or your ass is grass. what a b. of course the girl is gonna lose weight living with a bunch of tiny model girls. im sure their eating habits and the food that is in the house is different than what sarah is used to!
and i almost jumped through my tv and killed bianca when she was standing in front of the mirror saying she was the heaviest girl in the house when sarah was standing right next to her. seriously.
whew...had to vent. antm is getting hard on my nerves.
1 of 13 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 10, 2007 5:05 AM
Tyra isn't interested in having a plus sized model on the show or winning the show - so why does she keep putting them in the mix. What a bitch.
2 of 13 | Posted by lestermaddox | Posted on November 10, 2007 2:31 PM
Tyra isn't interested in having a plus sized model on the show or winning the show - so why does she keep putting them in the mix. What a bitch.
3 of 13 | Posted by lestermaddox | Posted on November 10, 2007 2:32 PM
I'm Still trying to figure out exactly why Bianca is still on this show. I thought she did just as poorly in the video as Chantal did. She's stiff as a board in all of her pictures & She's got the personality of a rabid tasmanian devil - Oh Wait - THAT'S WHY SHE'S STILL THERE!!!
I personally didn't think that Sarah did all that badly & it didn't look to me like she was losing weight (Her thighs were huge!) & her pictures were always good... I know, I know, I'm not a professional pretty picture taker like Nigel, but the girl didn't look any different from her earlier pictures.
But that's just my opinion...
4 of 13 | Posted by kdiva97 | Posted on November 11, 2007 8:31 PM
Lester, I think Tyra adds a "plus-sized" girl to the mix for the sake of her image, just to say she supports positive body images, blahblahblah. Some of the best contestants are the bigger girls, but they ALWAYS get cut too early.
Funny recap, Pachita. Thanks for reminding me that I used to like Enrrrrrique Iglesias back in college. Also, I haven't seen this show in awhile but it seems from your latest recaps that Heather is probably going to win. They are really trying to sell us on her disabled awesomeness. From what I've seen so far, I don't think any of them are as good as previous contestants.
5 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 11, 2007 8:58 PM
I'm sorry...I have to agree with the judges on the whole Sarah thing...you never see a normal sized model...models are either plus sized or super skinny, like Tyra said...Sarah would never make it in the industry and to be honest, I'm not really sure why they cast her in the first place, being that that is what they said from the beginning.
Bianca seems to have mutiple personality disorder...I don't love any of the girls really. It's funny bc mtv and vh1 have been showing marathons of earlier seaons and they were so much more likeable!
6 of 13 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:58 AM
Good point, Yankeesfan. Sarah was never really one of the power-players.
Actually, I was watching the earlier episodes this weekend as well and it used to be a whole different show. What I thought was hilarious (and its probably what prompted my comments on the plus sized models) is that in the very first episode Janice Dickinson said during the deliberation "I just don't think America's Next Top Model will ever be plus sized, it just won't happen, that's not the way the industry works" or something like that.
7 of 13 | Posted by pachita | Posted on November 12, 2007 8:12 AM
thanks for looking up the video, Pachita, saves me the trouble, as I immediately went to indemand hunting . . . .what a rip--like anyone would even know it was our grrls in there . . . the Bianca shot had to go, though, and I thought Sarah was sporatically fierce in her shot, but I guess being that self-conscious wasn't going to serve her in the end anyway--imagine a modeling show wanting you to gain weight to be a plus size . . . sigh . . . . I actually do find this to be a likable cast, not sure why, guess the strippa and Heather fill quite a void . . . I was glad to see the wonders a banana could do in bringing someone back to life . . . now I only hope this isn't running against Project Runnway, my other fave . . . is it too much to ask?! thanks for the recap!!!!
8 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 12, 2007 3:59 PM
How about having the previous winners of ANTM be the models for PR. I would love to see Adrianne or CariDee working the runway for Nina and MK.
Or how about a PR challenge to design a frock for Miss Jay. ;-)
9 of 13 | Posted by pret-a-porter | Posted on November 13, 2007 2:56 PM
How about having the previous winners of ANTM be the models for PR. I would love to see Adrianne or CariDee working the runway for Nina and MK.
Or how about a PR challenge to design a frock for Miss Jay. ;-)
10 of 13 | Posted by pret-a-porter | Posted on November 13, 2007 3:00 PM
How about having the previous winners of ANTM be the models for PR. I would love to see Adrianne or CariDee working the runway for Nina and MK.
Or how about a PR challenge to design a frock for Miss Jay. ;-)
11 of 13 | Posted by pret-a-porter | Posted on November 13, 2007 3:01 PM
One things for sure, Miss Jay needs a good frock desperately!!!! ; )
12 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 14, 2007 10:53 AM
as much as i l love heather. there is no way she will win. she can't speak well and a cover girl model must be able to complete a sentence. BUT damn she is sexy as hell. i call jenah and salesha the 2 front runners.
13 of 13 | Posted by heehaw | Posted on November 19, 2007 6:12 PM