The judges deliberate. Everyone loves Natasha this week, but note she still can't take criticism. Jaslene is incredibly photogenic. Dionne looks like a model finally. Ms. Jay loves Brittany and Cathy Gould thinks she could be a model. Twiggy loves Renee's build, but I think Twiggy just loves men. Cathy sees Sarah's potential, but doesn't think she took a great photo this week. Diana has potential, but lacks oomph. Twiggy thinks she's boring. Twiggy also doesn't like Whitney, but Tyra wants to cut her a break since she can't help her breasts. Nigel acknowledges that Jael's photo is the worst in the bunch, but still thinks she's improving every week. Cathy Gould has the biggest LOL moment of the episode here, saying, "I'm sorry, but if she walked into an open call, I'd just say next." HA!
9 girls, 8 photos... the first goes to Natasha! American dream, coming true! Just work had and do as they say in the magazines and you too, may one day be American's Next Top Model. Dionne, Brittany, Jaslene, Sarah, Renee, and Jael are also safe. So that leaves Diana and Whitney in the bottom. Even though Jael's picture was awful this week, clearly they had to put Whitney in the bottom two instead for dramatic effect. Gross.
Tyra explains that she's wanted to have two full figured models on the show for the longest time as the cameras pan over the girls' stomachs. Finally Tyra's dream has come true, but Whitney and Diana's suckitude will ruin that dream now. Diana has the figure and the face (still I say, wtf?) but lacks the passion. Whitney has the confidence in real life, but can't capture it in a photo.
So who get's the photo? Whitney! Aw tears! Now Whitney's going to lose her mind! As she goes to say good bye to the girls, Jael literally throws herself into Diana's arms. Calm down, Ducky, there's enough hugs to go around. We also get a shot of lonely Renee not hugging cause she's a bitch. Ah, good times.
Diana is saddest to leave Whitney, but is glad she can stay to represent for the both of them. No pressure or anything! She vows we'll see her again. Yeah. Battling forest fires. Hey that's a valuable career!
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Comments (33)
Is Whitney a biaatch or what!? People always assume that the plus-sized models are all sweet and cuddly (like Toccara), but Whitney was NOT nice to Natasha this week...Anyways, Renee was right. Maybe not about plus-sized models never being on Vogue, but fact is, Whitney does not look like a model.
And Krank Mills! I love your recaps... because you share my adoration of Natasha. She's awesomely awesome. Her hair is fading though. I liked the black from her makeover, but its turning all brown. Blech.
Renee... I love her and I hate her. She is the prettiest of the bunch, and she tells it like it is... but sometimes she's unecessarily mean. The difference between Renee's bitchiness and Whitney's is that Renee is bitchy 100% of the time. Whitney was just a bitch because Natasha was right and Whitney didn't want to admit it.
1 of 33 | Posted by shia0undan | Posted on April 2, 2007 10:56 AM
Oh yeah, and these RIDICULOUS challenges/photoshoot concepts need to stop. I want to watch some fashiony stuff, not this gimmicky crap anymore!
2 of 33 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on April 2, 2007 10:59 AM
Agreed Shia. I hate hate HATE these drag shoots. Do you think we will ever see a drag "king" on the cover of Vogue? Has anyone watched Australia's NTM on Vh1? Boring show, but the photo shoots are so much better because they are simple.
Funny recaps, Krank. I kind of thought that Diana looked like one of the Geico cavemen, but they're all hairy too so it counts just the same. Just creepy. Also, the lingo that Natasha learned was "What it do?" - which is a slang greeting, not "What a douche". Just trying to help your street cred. ;)
3 of 33 | Posted by buttercup
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Posted on April 2, 2007 11:16 AM
You can watch ANTM through the miracle of YouTube a day or two after the first airing because people upload it.
And I am soooo glad Diana is gone!
4 of 33 | Posted by DA.Darling | Posted on April 2, 2007 11:21 AM
Great recap, one of the better ANTM caps this season, kudos.
You also read my mind, the only reason Renee did so well this week is because she's ALREADY a dude. Der. I still hate her with a voracity that has no equal on this earth, though. Total see you next Tuesday.
Apparently, Diana was really edited and made to appear more quiet than she was. Shocking, I know. I read some interview she did for another site where she said a) she wasn't really trying to lose 10 pounds, she was joking about the fact that there was no food left in the house, b) when she said she was mad about what Renee had said to Whitney, she was saying she was mad about something a week before, and c) Renee and Whitney were joking back and forth about the whole plus sized thing. Go figure.
Oh yeah, and I don't know if it's been brought up around here, but did you guys see how that Indian fashion designer guy that's been on ANTM a few times is some kind of rapist/molester?
5 of 33 | Posted by brendahamLincoln | Posted on April 2, 2007 11:54 AM
I love my PUERTO RICAN SISTER! JASLENE!!!
SHE'S AWESOME!
HELLO KRISTIN IN COLUMBUS OHIO!
6 of 33 | Posted by Marty | Posted on April 2, 2007 12:50 PM
Krank Mills - you are awesome!!! The Ducky/Voldemort comparison cracked me up - thank you thank you (and I can't wait until the episode where she has to try to be a "spokesmodel" with that slurry, mush-mouth she's got).
The photo shoots on ANTM are SO ridiculous, and I can't think of one high fashion magazine that features anything like them - ManJay is always going on about how he is the amazing "art director" for the shoots - please, the concepts suck!!! - if he's having such a hard time coming up with "fresh ideas", they should hire someone else...his main "concept" appears to be making the "models" look as ugly as possible...
And finally, Natasha's baby??? It MUST be a cat or dog, because she has never mentioned it before or since (maybe it's edited out) - or maybe she's just not super annoying about always mentioning her kid...
7 of 33 | Posted by NolaO
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Posted on April 2, 2007 1:26 PM
so good to be a poster again, dont' know what happened there. Not liking this season as much as last, for whatever reason, but I do like Ducky and Nasty--I think Whitney is cute, and I've always thought Brittany was ugly, inside and out-but she takes great pix and it seems her's to lose. Renee is not so deliciously hateful as Melrose of last season. Never did like Sarah either, but she's been less annoying until she took that win without giving a call out for her girl Dionne--perhaps they could have shared that reward . . .
8 of 33 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 2, 2007 1:42 PM
couldn't agree more about the shoots either . . . aren't they supposed to be a top model, not a dead model or male model. And frankly, couldn't they give the girls more than 10 seconds on some of the challenges, yes it's fun to see them run about, but can they really do clothes and make up in 4 minutes or whatever!
Jaslene is very impressive too, in pictures, but too skinny . . . now that bear is gone, maybe there'll be more food in the house!
9 of 33 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 2, 2007 1:47 PM
I was thinking the same thing about Diana, she wasn't looking particulary pretty during this episode. Until the end, there was a time when the canera caught her looking strikingly beautiful, and I said WOW!THATS what they have been talking about! Nigel kept complimenting her body (huge calves!)and face.Oh well, she still looked uncomfortable and weird in the photo shoots. Seriously, I bet she would've been a great spokesmodel. ESPECIALLY comapred to Jaslene or Ducky.
10 of 33 | Posted by sweetleaf
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Posted on April 2, 2007 2:19 PM
SO glad Diana is gone. She wasn't pretty & she was annoying. Her "just 'cause" reasoning was hilarious, though. Most of these girls probably just wanted to be on tv, including Diana. It's not like any of the past winners have gone on to find a lot of success, so what was she supposed to say "I want to put in all of this hard work so that one day I can get a guest spot on a crappy UPN show just like Eva"?
I really hope Natasha seriously has a kid. I know it's unlikely & she probably was talking to a pet, but a girl can dream. And I agree with buttercup, Natasha was saying "What it do, shorty?" but "What a douche" wouldn't been 100 times funnier.
11 of 33 | Posted by gillian
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Posted on April 2, 2007 2:29 PM
oops, I meant would've.
12 of 33 | Posted by gillian
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Posted on April 2, 2007 2:32 PM
Someone should check Jaslene's DNA. I think she's a man, or at the very least a hermaphrodite.
KH
demanding an investigation!
13 of 33 | Posted by katieshole | Posted on April 2, 2007 3:19 PM
I looked at some of the videos on the ANTM website and a lot of the girls that have gotten kicked off say that Renee is for the most part a nice person and she just got cast the role of the b!tch. They say she has her bad moments but she really isn't as bad as the show makes her out to be. And the discussion about plus sized models on vogue - Diana says Renee' was mocking what other people think about plus sized models and they edited that part out.
14 of 33 | Posted by melissa | Posted on April 2, 2007 3:49 PM
great recap again.
Sarah.is.not.attractive. Every time she made that stretched, awful "Surprised face" i got the shivers.
I dont understand why whitney's photos are so so-so. Whenver they inverview her she looks so pretty but the pics arent waht I expect.
Natasha has stolen my heart- she really is cute and makes me laugh every ep.i would probably HATE living with her, but whatever.
15 of 33 | Posted by Leah3t
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Posted on April 2, 2007 8:16 PM
I'm now on the Natasha train.. she is just straight up adorable.
I can't believe they're actually making fun of her b/c she's taking their crits but making them positive.
What is she supposed to do when they give her a crit? Tell them to F- Off and give them the finger??
I swear I want someone to just punch the judges and try to get their egos back to a manageable size.
As for Renee.. I actually liked her photo but damn if she isn't just ugly as sin. Probably why her photo came out so well.
Jaslene wows me as well with her photos. She really knows how to bring it. Her photo totally blew me away.
And I actually liked Jael's photo. I thought it was cute and fun.
Whitney needs to go next. Every single one of her photos have sucked ass so far. She's just not good enough AT ALL.
One crit for you Krank. Your writing it great, but you still need more pics from the show.
I don't care if you have to take a digital photo with a camera.. you need more photos in your recaps.
16 of 33 | Posted by Shollia
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Posted on April 2, 2007 9:58 PM
Poor Diana "...Battling forest fires" LOL, you're so funny!
17 of 33 | Posted by SGM | Posted on April 2, 2007 11:09 PM
is it just me, or is it totally depressing that a size 8/10 is a PLUS size?!
18 of 33 | Posted by tulip618
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Posted on April 3, 2007 8:14 AM
#17 - My DVR normally records but for whatever reason last week, the channel guide wasn't working so the DVR didn't know ANTM was playing. SO frustrating, but I'm so dependent on it!
And yes, #20 incredibly depressing that 8/10 is plus sized!
19 of 33 | Posted by kmills | Posted on April 3, 2007 8:24 AM
Does anyone remember when the models used to have to dress themselves in designer clothes? What is with the Sears outfits?!? AND - Dionne is basically wearing the same tank top in this weeks' challenge as she wore when the panel called her a girl in the mall.
20 of 33 | Posted by fashionista | Posted on April 3, 2007 10:41 AM
Fashionista! So true, though I didn't see all the earlier cycles, really Sears!? Harrummph! Do they really need a reality show to be a catalogue model . . . and I notice Krank didn't even mention the brand--good one!
As to Tivo, used to love it, now I hate it! But I have noticed, if you've got a seperate cable box, and you use it's remote to change channels, Tivo doesn't always know what channel its on and tapes the wrong stuff--also, many times, if I'm on the right channel, and I want to tape, but I want Tivo to title it right, when I choose the same channel on the Tivo remote, it goes to one less, even though the display stays right--VERY IRKSOME!!!
21 of 33 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 3, 2007 12:04 PM
I'm pretty sure I remember there being a Kmart walk-off a couple of cycles ago...so the sears thing isn't that surprising.
I was pretty sure that Natasha and her husband had some kinky "adult-baby" themed sex-play thing going on... i.e. he was the "baby". Of course...you all are right, it was probably just a cat. *wink* *wink*
*waves hello to the other poster named gillian. small world*
22 of 33 | Posted by gillian | Posted on April 3, 2007 12:24 PM
Diana and Whitney are NOT size 8's. Maybe 18's...not 8's.
23 of 33 | Posted by majiksparkle | Posted on April 3, 2007 1:13 PM
Yeah, the gimmicky photoshoots are annoying, but this one wasn't nearly as bad as last season's wobbly runway. I think that's one of the worst ideas for a photoshoot in Top Model history.
24 of 33 | Posted by tito
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Posted on April 3, 2007 1:36 PM
As ridiculous as the shoots themselves are, I think the most absurd part is that Tyra takes her own photo in the theme of the shoot each week that's shown before panel. She even has her own gallery on the Top Model website. RI-DIC!
And majiksparkle, I believe them as 8/10s... Don't forget the distorted reality of 0's all around them.
25 of 33 | Posted by kmills
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Posted on April 3, 2007 1:43 PM
I am so onboard with the Natasha lovin! I think you hit it right on the head though, she is completely playing by the "rules" of ANTM, i think she has studied all of the old cycles and has comitted to memory all of the (often conflicting) rules of modeling that Tyra, the Jay's and various guests have put forth. She totally has a kid too, but, has seen all the 'mom's' in past cycles get booted so she keep's it on the DL. Rock it till the end my little Russian cosmo-nut!
26 of 33 | Posted by sargemike | Posted on April 3, 2007 1:49 PM
HAHAHAH ok... ok I see where this came from, and maybe this has been said, but Dionne was teaching Natasha to say "what it do"... not "what a douche."
oh man, I almost died when I read that. unintentional humor is awesome.
27 of 33 | Posted by Mallory | Posted on April 3, 2007 2:38 PM
Love it Gillian!!! Wonder if he had time to don some depends and a pacifier . . .
Actually, I got the impression she's not the mother of the "baby" and doesn't really know the "baby"--didn't she say, I feel like I live with strangers or something . . .
I know nothing of woman's sizes, but I do think anything next to a Jaslene 0 is going to look bigger (even if they are closer to the average body size and type)
28 of 33 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 3, 2007 2:47 PM
I would pin Diana as a size 10/12 and Whitney as a 12-16. It's hard to tell against those other size 00 girls though. You'd have to get a real woman in there to compare.
I do think that Natasha has a real baby. I think I remember when she first auditioned that Tyra was really surprised that both Renee and Natasha were married and had children. But maybe I'm remembering inaccurately...
Yay Natasha! She has become my favorite this week. I can't stand anybody else.
~Georgia~
29 of 33 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on April 3, 2007 4:20 PM
Krank--
loved the last line of your recap. so necessary!
Everyone-
Dont you all think it's time Tyra stepped down? This show needs new blood. I wish Giselle would host it because she's as dumb as Tyra but not mean. Tyra seems to think a Sports Illustrated cover is the equivalent of a Masters from Oxford.
NYW
30 of 33 | Posted by NYWord | Posted on April 3, 2007 6:13 PM
Pfftt.. Tyra would never step down.. why? B/c then how would she talk about herself and remind us all just how fabulous she thinks she is! *barfs*
31 of 33 | Posted by Shollia
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Posted on April 3, 2007 9:10 PM
I wish Tyra would step down. I can't stand the woman. She's so bloody full of herself. She and panel are contradictory, biased and really not that good at anything. And Tyra takes everything and turns it around to be about her. SHUT UP WOMAN!! NOBODY CARES!
32 of 33 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on April 3, 2007 10:12 PM
I have to respectfully disagree. Some of them (Jazlene) are extremely skinny. But Whitney and Diana have a LOT of fat on them. I wear a 4--they are not two sizes larger than me. 8's still look thin.
Maybe if they only wear clothes that are vanity sized, sure.
33 of 33 | Posted by Jessica | Posted on April 4, 2007 8:17 AM