Recap: Double, Double Toil and Trouble; Fire Burn, and Cauldron Bubble

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This week ANTM goes back to being offensive toward Australian culture. Natasha's trek through the woods in wedge heels for the challenge causes her to come down with a cold. Subsequently, she misses a night out with the girls, who take this opportunity to bash her and solidify their clique. She goes on to struggle at the photo shoot and I almost worry myself into a stroke.

But Natasha's not the only one who struggled. Dionne is not a dancer. I know, shocking, considering she's such a warm presence. Can she pull through? It's getting down to the wire and harder and harder to predict who's going home, so all the girls must be at the top of their game. So who got the boot? Read on...

Previously on ANTM, we saw perhaps the biggest tantrum ever from someone over the age of 5. Between go-sees and a double photoshoot, the girls were tested on their versatility. Though Brittany never failed to take amazing pictures, her dismal go-sees and tantrum got her sent back to the US. Only four girls remain, who's going home tonight?

The girls return from the previous panel to find Tyra Mail! Blah blah blah, something about soul, spirit and heart. Really, what do souls, spirits or hearts have to do with modeling? Look at Naomi Campbell! Certainly no soul or heart there. Dionne is exhausted and doesn't want to bother figuring the clue out - she just wants to go to bed. Probably a good idea after last week's failed summit of the brain trust.

Before bed, the girls discuss the previous week's panel. None of the girls expected Brittany to go home until they were at panel and saw the judges' reaction to her behavior. Dionne was shocked to be in the bottom two because she does "this thing called 'scowling' a lot, which means [she] looks mean all the time." Thanks for the vocab lesson, Brown. Dionne doesn't mean to put on a mean face, it's just there.

Renee observes you can always tell when the panel doesn't like your photo because they go completely silent. "They're trying to figure out why they don't like it." Renee astutely points out. Ominous music plays as a coyote howls. Um, random. And way to snark on your own show, Renee. Please leave the recapping to the unpaid professionals.

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"The Twiggy hates you. You disgust her. Leave the Twiggy's Presence!"

Porn-y music starts up as Natasha calls her husband. Okay, this next bit is very weird, but she's foreign! And different strokes for different folks. Natasha has set up the cell phone on her pillow so she can sexy talk with her husband and kind of jedi-snuggle at the same time. Now if I were Natasha, I would take the phone (and pillow) in the next room, but she does it in front of Renee and Dionne, who are laughing their asses off in the background.

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Mother Renee, of course, is just so happy someone else in the house is now the subject of everyone's scorn and derision. "Natasha is weird." She says. Or, you know, just different from you. I know, crazy! How dare she! Natasha knows the other girls are watching her behavior and judging, but remains self-assured that they know she's strong competition and are threatened by her. The freaking confidence on this woman.

The next morning the girls are whisked away to the location for their next shoot. Apparently somewhere it was explained that they would have to go on a little hike in the woods to get there, but we never hear that part, we just see the other girls criticizing Natasha for wearing heels for their trek. It's a rainy, windy, cold day and Renee is more than happy to point out that Natasha is going to get sick because she's not wearing proper footwear. Ugh, shut up Renee. She's such a smug, manipulative, know-it-all bitch and I'm afraid she's going to win. HATE HER!

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Yeah, not the best choice for a hike in the woods.

The girls finally reach their destination and are greeted by "Uncle Max," identified as an aboriginal elder. Love the title. It just reeks of wisdom. His niece, Calita is also there to aid in today's lesson/challenge. She explains that storytelling is a big part of aboriginal culture, as stories are passed through the generations via words, body art and dance. A group of girls are there to show the perspective top models an example of the dances they perform and the stories they tell.

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Tasty! Also, adorable.
Recap: Double, Double Toil and Trouble; Fire Burn, and Cauldron Bubble Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

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Comments (25)

georgiababe [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I like Renee. I hope she wins. I like Natasha, but I just don't think that she's....I don't really know. She's just not right to be America's Next Top Model. I have no doubt that she'll be a great model, but I don't know if she will win this show. She just doesn't seem like the type that the judges will pick. Jaslene, on the other hand, can hardly speak English properly. I wonder how she'll fare on the commercial.

I like Renee. A lot. And I know that people think she's a bitch and blah blahd blah but whatever. She's a great model. She's like Melrose. All the girls hated her, but she was a fabulous model.

Go Renee!!!

~Georgia~

shia0bundan [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Wow. I had a really hard time getting through 6 pages of Natasha loving/Renee bashing.

I'm out of the Natasha adoration fest. (I seriously thought she was the most adorable thing in the world up until this week). I can understand why the other girls are fed up with her bullshit. Take the extremely cocky (or as KMills says, confident) words that come out of her mouth and imagine them on someone that isn't as pretty and doesn't have speak in a adorably flustered accent. It would just be cocky and annoying, kind of like Jaslene was in the early episodes. But when Natasha does it its just awesome, right?

She's still an great model and Dionne definately deserved to go home, but her "confidence" is really starting to be annoying.

I'm hoping that Renee or Jaslene win it at this point. Before this episode I was hoping for Natasha or Renee... but that was mostly because I found Jaslene incredibly irritating when she used to brag. Then I watched some repeat episodes and realized Natasha has a way bigger head than Jaslene, but it just seemed like she was humble because she's so cute with her broken English.

And I don't agree that Renee calling Natasha wierd is bitchy at all. Natasha IS wierd, thats why we love (or loved) her. She's kooky and irrational (jumping into the pool with Jael?). I'd be wierded out too if I had to listen to my mail-ordered roomie have phone sex with her old husband.

MissDior17 [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Renee isn't a thing like Melrose. Melrose was a perfectionist and won so many challenges. She was all by herself unlike Renee who used most of the girls in the house.

Natasha better win. I've been rooting for her since she called all the other girls masc-a-lin.

Leah3t [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I was so mad watching those girls gang up on sweetie natasha. Renee looks old and washed up and Dionne struck me as faker than anyone else on teh show. She was always putting on this fake flabbergasted air. I found her personality to be the most lacking of everyone. I say it comes down to Natasha and Jaslene. Though I was really let down by Jaslene. She seemed to be a little less petty and bitter than Renee, but this ep proved opposide.

couchpotato [TypeKey Profile Page]:

This week's episode was absolutely terrible. But thanks for the write-up. I hope Jasmine's skinny butt wins.

Niecy [TypeKey Profile Page]:

i really hope renee doesn't win. MissDior17 is right, she isn't anything like melrose. yeah she was a bitch but her pictures were beautiful. renee sucks as a model and as a person altogether. i think dionne and jaslene were going against natasha just to shut renee up. in their individual interviews they both basically said that it's very unlikely that natasha will be sent home and they were right.

p.s.
renee sucks

yc [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I might not like a lot about Renee, but I think she should win. Her pictures have consistently been better than Natasha's and Jaslene's.

I just can't see Jaslene's 'drag-queen-y-ish' nature doing as well as what a 'Top Model' should do. I also think it would be just a horrible way to end a season, by rewarding the skiniest girl in the first season to have two plus sized girls on it. To me, that would say a lot to young impressionable girls, the kind that Tyra keeps talking about wanting to help. Back to Jaslene...She's just not at all versatile, not like Renee or Natasha.

Now Natasha, on the other hand, is more able to show different things but seriously....she's arrogant, oddly weird, and unable to be a decent spokesperson. I'm so over her! ugh.

So....go Renee, even though you're a conniving, brown-nosing, insecure little girl.

tito [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Georgiababe, I wouldn't compare Renee to Melrose at ALL. I couldn't stand Melrose. At least Renee was an entertaining bitch ... I say was because Renee has been pulling back the bitchiness lately. Renee is a bitch because she's manipulative and hateful. Melrose was a bitch because she was just a whiney overaged brat who cried whenever she didn't get her way. Renee contorts things and works people to get her way. I could not STAND Melrose ... Renee I like, and I wouldn't mind seeing her win, and even though I think Jaslene is the least likely to win out of these 3 girls, I'm rooting for her.

How come no one has ever brought up the fact that Natasha has sort of a horrifying smile? I don't think it's going to work well for her during her closeup covergirl shoot.

georgiababe [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I still see similarities between Renee and Melrose. Here's why:
1) They both photograph old. The judges commented on that with Melrose much more than Renee, but it's come up a couple of times this season.
2) The girls hate(d) them, at least in some point in the season. I wasn't comparing why they were hated, since I realize that they were totally different reasons, but they were cast at "the bitch" in their respective season.
3) They both took beautiful photos. This is a matter of opinion of course, but I think that Renee is a fabulous model. I think that Melrose was better, but Renee is still pretty good.

As for Renee's bitchiness - I don't think that it's warranted or right, but she does have abuse in her past. Sure, everybody thinks that she's using her abuse as a brown-nosing technique but I don't think that's true. People who have abuse in their past are generally very defensive so they become total bitches. It's not right or nice, but it's true.

I still say: GO RENEE!!!!

~Georgia~

Shollia [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Having an abusive past gives NO ONE the right to be a big freaking bitch.
And you better believe she is using everything she can to brown-nose her way to the top.
Maybe I remind you of last week when she pulled out the baby pics?
I actually don't care if someone does suck-up to get further ahead though, just own up to it which I don't think she's really denying she is doing.

Anyways... god.. WTH was up with all the hate this episode?
I WAS a Jaslene fan until I saw how much of a jealous conniving bitch she is as well.

Anyways... I'm glad Dionee is gone... and even though I hate saying it.. I don't think Natasha will win.
I wouldn't mind if Jaslene took it even though she showed her true colors...
But I REALLY hope skank Oh Poor Me and my Abused blahblahblahblahblah Queen Bitch Renee doesn't take it.

cappy [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I fucking hate Renee but she is the most believable as a real model. Lol at the Vinci reference!

PixieGal [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Renee is a bitch and a half. While I must admit that Natasha's husband situation is a bit weird, Renee had no right talking about the fact that Natasha's family life is not real or whatever. Natasha was bawling her eyes out about not getting to see her baby less than 3 weeks ago.

Renee is just old and hateful. Natasha is really what the modeling world does like right now: the kinda off-looking Eastern European thing. And modeling agencies loooove foreign girls. They don't have the entitlement complex that American girls have (PAGING RENEE, episode 3, complaining about not getting something she was good at when Natasha didn't even know what a teacher's pet was and didn't complain one bit)

sweetjane [TypeKey Profile Page]:

seriously, do they do something to these girls that one of them seems to always get sick right near the end? adrienne curry. danielle (who pulled a freaking iv out of her arm and STILL outperformed everyone). seriously, it always happens. and honestly, natasha should have gone home because she let her illness get to her. use danielle as an example- you have to be able to bring it, even if you want to die.

MalloryS [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I'm slightly obsessed with Natasha.

Jennifer [TypeKey Profile Page]:

KrankMills, I dont understand something. Since the girls stopped hating Renee and started to hate on Natasha, it can be inferred that Renee was the one that was responsible for that shift? Isn't that a bit...speculative (and slightly retarded)? what makes recappers like B Side popular is that they made fun of EVERYONE and showed how everyone is a goddamn retard. When the recap becomes an undeserved adoration/love fest for one of the contestants, frankly, it becomes yawnworthy.

luxe [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I personally can't stand Natasha. I'm rooting for Jaslene.

And I agree with Jennifer.

kmills [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Um, yes, it's speculative.

And I take sides. So sue me.

livemusicjunkie [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I don't like Natasha one bit - does that mean I, too, am threatened? uh, no...it means I don't like her. I don't think she's pretty - especially when she smiles (which is huge in my book) - and I think her personality sux. She's the most vain, cocky, self-serving person I've seen in a long time. The only time I even slightly liked her is when she was trying to make Brittany feel better during her hissy-fit. That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if she wins simply because the judges seem to like her so much. If she wins, this will probably be my last season watching this show. It will just be too lame for words.

luxe [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I don't think the other girls are jealous of Natasha. I don't see why they would be, considering they have more talent than her. I think Natasha has taken some good pictures, but I still think Renee's and Jaslene's have been better as a whole.

Dr. Grissom [TypeKey Profile Page]:

In my opinion, the difference between Melrose and Renee was that while Melrose may have been annoying to the other girls, she was never intentionally hateful. Renee is deliberately unkind to the other girls, which is why I hate her.

And I think maybe she should keep her mouth shut about Natasha's "weird" "sketchy" life--at least Natasha's husband seems to have a job and isn't living homeless on some beach while his mother raises their kid.

I'm with you KMills--I'm a Natasha fan, loud and proud!

Niecy [TypeKey Profile Page]:

dr. grissom, im so glad u said that! like renee has a lot of room to talk about someone's home life when her family aint even living together. she has a haggard face and her ugly personality isnt making it any better. and on a totally different note, i think the show should lower the age requirement. no real modeling agency wants a model that's starting out at 19, 20 years old. it's not like there would be any difference in the drama since these chicks act like they're still in high school anyway.

Wade [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Natasha: the Taylor Hicks of "Top Model."

Renee: the princess, only much older and sadder.

Jaslene: doesn't do anything for me.

As for Dionne, she told me it was definitely a mistake not picking herself as the one with most potential.

icelady201 [TypeKey Profile Page]:

How can Natasha be America's Next Top Model??

She is Russian and not American.

Let's just call the show the Worlds Top Model if you aren't going to pick an American. GEEZ

icelady201 [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Wait I think we should call it russian mail order bride model is Natasha wins.

LawyerChic [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Icelady201...

Why isn't Natasha American? Because she was born elsewhere and has an accent? She became an American when she married her husband. You should know your facts before making ignorant statements...

On that note, I think Jaslene will probably win because ANTM has not had a spanish model win. Besides, when you win ANTM you're not really becoming a "top" model. The model's are lucky if they're even still around and modeling within a year or two.

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