Recap: Sly Like Fox

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Finally! A Renee-centric episode! JUST WHAT I WANTED, Tyra, how did you know? Mother Renee is either the most self-aware evil person I've ever seen, or the most evil evil person I've ever seen, and in an attempt to bridge the rapidly-forming gaps between her and the rest of the girls, she vows too change her ways for the better.

But other things happened besides Mother Renee's official canonization. This show further devolved and we were treated to a challenge that seriously made me wonder if I was watching Zoolander. Plus, Tyra got to play out her fantasy of murdering every wannabe model under the age of 27. Fun!

As the sun rises over LA, Renee is talking to the camera in the room whose only identifying feature is that it is filled with pictures of girls from past seasons. Except that's every room in HOUSE OF TOP MODEL so it's really not that helpful a description, I know. Renee says she knows she's been fighting with everyone a lot, but she wants to win and can't with the bitchy attitude she's had lately. So she's making a change. It's gonna feel real good. Chaaaange! "Man in the Mirror" is totes my favorite MJ song too, Renee! Look at that, we're building bridges.

Her first attempt at making nice is very awkward, and it's not just because of all the mannish shoulders involved. Jael is standing at the mirror, readying for her day when Renee comes in and says she has something for Jael. Ducky seems uninterested until Renee's like, "Now I don't want you to be offended..." and Ducky's head whips around all, "Are you seriously starting with me this early in the morning?"

But Renee really wants to mean it in a good way! She drew a picture of Ducky and wants to give it to her. Jael is like, why would I be offended? And Renee says because she's wearing a straitjacket, but it's not tied so don't be offended! LOL, oh Renee, you slay me. For those of you who missed the episode, the picture basically looked like a Bratz doll... wearing an untied straitjacket. Nothing says "forgive me" like a drawing of yourself with massive eyes!

Jael pretends to like it, but you know she's just thinking, "I can't throw this piece of crap out as long as Renee is still in. SHE MUST GO." Though really, knowing our happy duck, she probably loves it and has it framed in her nest as we speak.

The white, stretch Hummer, aka The Classmobile, pulls up to a twirling man dressed as a traffic cop. Natasha says she was nervous because there was a police officer waiting for them when they got out of the car and Renee wonders what they've gotten themselves into. Oh, but don't worry girls, he's not really a traffic cop! Shocking, I know, what with all the twirling and cavorting and such.

His name is Benny Ninja. Seriously, where does Tyra find these people?? Apparently he is the father of the House of Ninja. The claim to fame for the House of Ninja is not flipping out and killing people, as realultimatepower.net would have you believe. Instead, they perfected Voguing. Seriously, WHERE TYRA? Voguing started in the 70's in Harlem, where they had posing battles. I guess like a bendier Stomp the Yard.

Also, we get the scientific definition of Voguing: Posturing + Movement = Voguing. The whole time he's explaining all this, Benihana is also constantly voguing and changing positions. He just seems like a less-than-talented contortionist to me.

As a little precursor to this week's challenge, Benihana is going to pit the girls against each other in one on one posing battles. First up, Felicia vs. Sarah, Face Battle. Benihana liked Felicia and thought she was a natural poser and Felicia is happy to have kicked some ass.

All the other girls get their turn to battle, but it looks like by the end he kind of lost steam and stopped naming winners. Why do I care unless someone is losing and crying about it?

Back at the house that night, Whitney asks Felicia the eternal question: "What is a fierce face?" Of course, Baby Tyra is more than happy to oblige with a few demonstrations of the patented Fierce Eyes™. Oooooh, Tyra's gonna be pissed Felicia's stealing her moves!

Recap: Sly Like Fox Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

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Comments (14)

Wade:

I can't believe the show's getting flak for the whole "models as murderers and murderees" theme. Yeah, because otherwise it's a real step forward for women ...

Still pulling for Dionne, despite her close call in the Bottom 2 this week. Buh-bye Baby Tyra.

DA.Darling:

I think it was messed up that Renee was called first when she was the only one that f'ed up on the challenge. They should have called her second or third and told her she WOULD have been called first if she hadn't messed up.

I thought Felicia's elimination was crap - she definitely had more potential and talent than a few of the girls still around (lookin at you Diana). I think Tyra was just pissed that everyone thought they looked alike.

LaSexorcisto [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Tyra just didn't want a younger, prettier version of herself around week after week.

Scorch:

I TOTES agree that Felicia should have been the one to go. But Renee and her attitude should be next. She takes nice pictures but sheesh...does she always have to act that way?

sh

Cat Henry [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Does anyone else notice that Renee is becoming the new Melrose this season??? Twiggy loves her, Nigel thinks she photographs old, and her mistakes in challenges are pointed out then ignored in panel. Seriously, I hope that axewound gets kicked off soon.

I really think the only one still here at this point with much photography potential is Jaslene. That girl takes FIERCE photos and she figured out that she has to act like a spaz so panel thinks she has personality.

PixieGal [TypeKey Profile Page]:

So there is actually a documentary called Paris Is Burning that highlights the Harlem voguing phenom. There were a bunch of drag queens, essentially who did competitions and the "houses", like the House of Ninja, were groups that you could join that competed against one another.

The purpose of it was to have a safe, fun place for minority (i.e. mostly black and puerto rican) gay men and boys to go had they been kicked out of their houses or whatever.

shiaobundan [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I like Renee. She may by a bitch, but at least she knows it. And in competition, she at least makes fair judgements of her self and others.

Jaslene, on the otherhand, is straightup arrogant. I can't stand girls like Jaslene.

Diana and Dionne need to go. They're just wasting space and time!

jusaplyr [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Dartmouth is on terms, so she was referring to tuition price for a term! :-)

Either way, I'd be selling that bracelet if it was me!

Shollia [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Cat Henry.. I actually liked Melrose despite her many flaws of bitchiness.
Renee on the other hand I can't freaking stand. What bothers me about her is that she's such a bitch AND she's a mother. I don't even wanna imagine what her poor kid is going to end up like.

TinkerbellAPixie:

I think "Totes" is shot for Totally. I guess it hasn't caught on yet.

I am waiting for one of those girls with a weave to get too close to that fire on their patio. Each week they lay closer and closer to it as they lay around smoking. I love how they use it as their ashtray.

Didn't Tyra get her hair cut last episode? So why was her weave as long and fake looking as ever?

I really like Brittany but I was amazed they liked her picture so much this week considering she did not make eye contact with the camera.

Leah3t [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I'm always so confused about the guest teachers and how they actually make their living. There's a place that just teaches posing and that makes enough money to pay rent? I guess only in L.A.

cant WAIT for next week where NAtasha's dark side is revealed. my jaw dropped open at the preview alone.

Rock Star [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Why do you think a weave getting close to the fire would be any different than a natural head of hair getting close to the fire?

Darth Wader [TypeKey Profile Page]:

ANTM always get rid of the hottest girl early. This year is no exception. Thought Felicia should have stayed longer, but I knew that when the episode revolved around her and she started singing "I'm not going home" that it was over. Still like Brittany and am glad she wasn't crying. And Renee actually made me laugh this episode. Who would have thunk it?!

Marty:

I HATE RENEE!

JASLENE IS AWESOME..GO BORIQUA!

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