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The Bald and the Beautiful - TVgasm

by J-Unit

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antm3-8-06Last night marked the return of America's Next Top Model. Once again, the models begin their journey in Los Angeles, and although I already knew who the thirteen finalists would be because the official website of Cycle 6 doesn't make it a secret, that doesn't mean the selection show is any less enjoyable. There are plenty of great personalities, plenty of beautiful young women, and if that isn't enough to get you excited, we were also able to fit in a visit from Janice Dickinson and a bunch of models getting naked for money. Grab a cup of coffee, because we have two hours worth of diva recappage to get you through the day.

There are very few reality shows where the contestants nearly faint at the mere sight of the host. The relationship between the contestants and Tyra is a huge part of what makes ANTM successful, and you can understand why. As Tyra said, the show is not just about beauty, but a journey of transformation. Past winners of ANTM have become working models that are working, and that's a big distinction. You wouldn't want them to become unemployed models that are working, or even worse, working models that are unemployed. But why get caught up with the semantics of these crazy modeling terms I don't understand, let's get on with the contestants.

I know that this was going to be a very good season because the first girl they introduces was named Sara. For those of you who don't know, J-Unit has a weakness for girls named Sara, and therefore I tend to pimp them in my recaps. Unlike other seasons, this Sara seemed to have looks and confidence. Immediately, I got a very strong Scarlett Johansson vibe from her, which is disturbing because I am not a ScaJo fan. Still, she's named Sara, so I'll give her a chance.

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But even if you aren't a fan of Saras or Scarlett Johansson, there were plenty of interesting personalities. For instance, there was Kathy, who had the strongest Southern accent, which I thought was strange because I could have sworn that I saw her in the Playboy spread, "Girls of the Warsaw Pact", or maybe it was "Mail Order Bride Monthly - Destination Ukraine". Either way there should have been a "skaya" or "ich" in her name somewhere. Kathy said that she had never even been on a plane before coming to top model, so you know things are moving up with her. At first glance, I thought Kathy's features weren't that attractive, but after a while, I saw just a touch of Michelle Pfeiffer.

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Of the first few intros, there was really nobody that could compare to Dani. When you first look at her, you think she is nothing but a sweet, innocent, girl from small town Texas, who was on the cheerleading squad, not unlike Cassandra from last year. But while we could only speculate that Cassandra was racist and homophobic, we were almost certain that was the case with Dani. Not having known anybody in their shuttle van for 5 minutes, she immediately starts talking about how she was surprised that there were so many black girls at the tryouts, like being black was some disease that you can cure with a vaccine. Her words were shocking to a number of people in the van, no matter what their ethnicity was, and there was one black girl, Furonda, who really wanted to beat her ass, but was afraid that she would get the "angry black girl" label, and decided to hold back.


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