Well Gasmii, the task has fallen on me to recap Cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model and I couldn't be more excited. Many of you probably think the show is post-peak, but Tyra's assembled a little montage to remind us of the awesomeness of the last nine seasons: nine catfights, eight tearful makeovers, seven stressful medical emergencies, six scary runway spills, five fierce plus-size models, four high-flying photo shoots, three critter-encounters, and two amazing Jays... but there can only be ONE America's Next Top Model. Here's hoping that this season is more eventful then the last few. Let's cut to the chase! Do you wanna be on top?
"Don't be ridiculous! Who wouldn't want to be on top? I always do!"
We open with a shot of the ANTM hopefuls, riding in style... on a big yellow school bus. They arrive at a stately building and gather in a courtyard where they are greeted by... Mr. and Ms. Jay! Most of the girls are in hysterics, shrieking and nearly fainting and the whole nine yards. What do you guys think the producers use to get them all hopped up like this? Because there's no way that this surprise is genuine. Mr. Jay lets them know that they are at Top Model Prep and that school is now in session!
Time to meet some of the girls. Shaya's excited about Top Model Prep because she likes to create beauty, because she is beautiful. Amy is weird, but in a positive way. Katarzyna thinks she's better than the competition because she went to Cornell. (Ever heard of it?) Marvita, a Cycle 9 reject, has been going therapy to work on her issues. Claire is maybe a man. Allison is Sarah Silverman's long lost sister.
"While you were taking your fake school picture? I was f*cking Matt Damon!"
Later the girls head to Runway 101, taught by Ms. Jay. Like they do every year, the girls have to prance down the runway for Ms. Jay to evaluate, but this time there's a slight twist - they have to carry a very heavy backpack full of textbooks. As usual, they all mostly suck. There's the one that walks like Quasimodo (Lauren), the one that thinks her walk is the bomb (Dominique), etc, etc. The most interesting revelation during runway time comes from Shalynda, who interviews that this is her 8th time trying out for ANTM. EIGHT TIMES! Hey Shalynda? I'm pretty sure they're just not that into you.
Football stadium! Homecoming time! In front of a random little stage are five cheerleaders. As the girls get closer, they realize that the cheerleaders are actually ANTM alumnae. Hey, look at me keeping with the prep school theme! We see Furonda and Joanie from Cycle 6, Michelle and Amanda from Cycle 7, and Jael from Cycle 8. Maybe the CW decided to do a Rookies vs. Veterans style face off in an effort to boost ratings? No such luck. Instead, the Jays announce that the show will be moving back from Los Angeles to NYC. Clearly, this is because Tyra's talk show films in NYC and the CW probably got sick of her calling it in all last season.
Mr. Jay declares that it's time to announce homecoming queen and Dominique interviews that she really really hopes that it's her. Oh sweetie, a blind man could see that this whole homecoming queen deal is just a ruse. It's an elaborate way to introduce Tyra while inflating her ego to match the size of her ass.
"Are you telling me I've gained weight???"
The next day, it's time for the girls to get grilled at the casting panel. Anya's up first, and she just about collapses upon entering she's so excited. She has the most annoying pacing to her voice which gets explained when she reveals she's from hah-why-ee. She tells Tyra she's got the fire to be America's Next Top Model and when Tyra asks to see it, she just looks possessed. My guess? She's gonna be the girl that has one look for every shoot and gets cut fairly earlyish.
Allison comes up and explains that she's from the smallest hicktown in Wisconsin and has to get out. I also notice that she's apparently preparing for the crawly critter shoot... oh wait, those two caterpillars on her face are just her eyebrows. Please please please let her make it to at least the makeover show.
"Sandy Cohen called and wants his eyebrows back? Oh hell no!"
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Comments (12)
I only got to - "While you were taking your fake school picture? I was f*cking Matt Damon!"
LOL
Now I must read on.
1 of 12 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on February 22, 2008 7:35 AM
Good recap! It's funny bc I think a few of the girls look like past ANTM models. One of the girls who got sent home looks just like Norelle, Dominique looks like that girl from the first season who was really into religion, and Atalya looks like Tiffany. I hope they bring some new twists this season bc the whole format is getting kinda old...I'll still watch of course though! Oh, and I hope Marvita goes home early...I can't stand her.
2 of 12 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on February 22, 2008 7:38 AM
I agree with yankeesfan, Marvita needs to go. I am thinking that she must take great pictures, because I cannot understand why they kept her. Her personality gets on my nerves, I am sure there is going to be alot of cat fights, especially if they keep her around. I can't remember exactly what the scenes from next week are, but if I remember correctly I think there is some sort of fight going on. Surprise, Surprise....
3 of 12 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on February 22, 2008 10:19 AM
And Stacy-Ann looks just like Danielle! Or Dani- I think cover girl changed her name after she won.
The little blonde- Kimberly, ew so ugly and annoying!
i like breastmilk claire and sarah silverman the best so far
4 of 12 | Posted by Errrica | Posted on February 22, 2008 10:36 AM
I can't believe you didn't comment on the ridiculous tears that Allison gave herself for the senior portrait shoot. I like Sarah Silverman, but Allison needs to go!
5 of 12 | Posted by jesusloveswinners | Posted on February 22, 2008 12:29 PM
Fatima is a beautiful young girl, which means she probably won't win (Like Nena from a prior season). Nice recap!
6 of 12 | Posted by 2funny2be4real | Posted on February 22, 2008 12:41 PM
I don't mind Marvita. I think that she has made some progress since last season.
I mean, she is the only other girl who as gone through such a horrifying and objectifying experience similar to Fatima's. I think that the question was genuine, but it was just the wrong place. I could see Fatima really helping Marvita.
I for the recap, I thought it was funny, but wish there was more about the latter half of the show... Fatima taking FOREVER on the photo shoot, the Asian tears, and how Kim just stood there when her picture got taken.
I would rather have a longer recap (especialyl because you had some good funny observations) which comes a few days later than a short which is posts a day or so after the show airs.
7 of 12 | Posted by fnllover | Posted on February 22, 2008 1:36 PM
i really cant stomach marvita.. she is absolutely hideous and her personality sucks .. for someone to say that she is the *only other one* to have gone thru something as awful as Fatima pisses me off because u dont kno everything about the other girls lives .. just cuz every other sentence is "im in therapy now", it doesnt mean she's had the worst life of all of them or deserves special treatment in a modeling competition
8 of 12 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on February 22, 2008 7:43 PM
Apparently being average, pretty, and bitchy are all you need to be a contestant on ANTM these days. I don't see a single girl this season that will make this show worth watching this time around. Time pack it in, Tyra, & find a new way to market yourself.
9 of 12 | Posted by kdiva97 | Posted on February 23, 2008 6:57 AM
the truth is i really do love this show but almost all the girls this time are FUGLY and really annoying, i cannot understand how Tyra in her right mind could choose that tactless dog faced gremlin marvita (lol on the nostrils comment but oh so true!) when evet girl left behind looked 10 times better than her? i'm sorry she had a rough life but she is by no means a model-oh lets hope she goes first- BTW GREAT recap-LOL looking forward to next week!
10 of 12 | Posted by yuds101 | Posted on February 24, 2008 12:14 AM
I can't believe you didn't have the gimmie on marvita's pic...
do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth???
So happy I got to see my twins again...yay!
And my fav is Ms. Silverman...erm, Allison. And btw, Sarah, if you are reading this, call me...
call me...
11 of 12 | Posted by pappy | Posted on February 25, 2008 7:49 AM
Wow! angelbayyb, you need to calm down a bit. We get that you don't like Marvita, but fnllover has a point. In reality TV if anyone has issues they air them. Marvita was trying to get to know Fatima. Yes it was bad timing, and a little tactless. Kind of like your post!
12 of 12 | Posted by neillfilm | Posted on February 27, 2008 2:52 PM