Testimonials

Mr. Jay is down for a lapdance! He sits on a chair and Stacy gives it a go. She awkwardly twists next to him and starts humming/singing what sounds like the Twilight Zone theme. Oh come on now! You think this is sexy striptease music? Did you go to high school? Did you sit next to the same guys I did? The ones who sang the stereotypical "bow-chicka-bow-wow" porn music every time the teacher said something remotely sexual? Oh, that's right, you didn't because you were too busy GETTING MARRIED. My mistake.

More faces of shock and horror from Tyra, but eventually she gets into it... cue dance montage!

You put your left leg in...

Fatima comes in crying, tells Tyra she loves her so much, they hug. Fatima's from Somalia, but has lived in the States for 17 years. Tyra asks her to tell us about difficult times, sappy music gets cued. Fatima explains that she was circumcised as a young girl and that's seen as a positive thing where she's from. Say what now?? I'll spare you her clinical description of female genital mutilation, but let's just say my babymaker experienced sympathy pains at the mere suggestion of it. She says she didn't have a choice in it, but she's dedicating her life to making sure no no one else has to experience what she did.

Fatima's a favorite of all of the judges. They fawn all over her and say she looks exactly like Iman - which she totally does. That is most definitely going to come back and bite her in the ass during judging later on. I can just see Nigel complaining that she's not original enough. It's sort of like that girl who's kind of famous just for looking like Paris Hilton and that gives her enough street cred to be at the very bottom of the celebrity food chain. Although now that I think about it, that's exactly like what ANTM is compared to the greater modeling world. Hmmmm. Fatima may have a shot after all.

At any rate, Fatima's look is very modelesque but something needs to be done with the poofed-out orange hair. The fact that she has a "cause" will definitely give her staying power through at least the early rounds. I say she'll make it to the final four or five.

Put two fingers up to this picture to cover up Fatima's face. You'd think it was Carrot Top, no?

Back in the green room, she reveals her circumcision to the other girls and explains that now she can't have sex. Shaya immediately forgets the whole all-the-black-girls-are-ghetto argument and her ice cold heart melts when she hears Fatima's story. Both girls share a hug and most of the girls in the room come over to comfort a crying Fatima. Marvita ruins this Kodak moment by butting in with "So do you feel like less of a woman now?" Translation? I don't like when the attention's not on me!!

We segue nicely into Marvita's interview with the judges. And wow, from this angle, holy nostrils, Marvita! There's more space in there than a studio apartment!

I call left! Who wants to move into the right one? We can totally be BFFs!!!

Jenna comes in all ghetto-fab and tells Tyra she almost didn't come to semi-finals because she got a new job and was gonna trick out her Impala. The Tyra is not pleased. She demands that Jenna explain exactly how she would pimp out her car with $100,000.

Class and dignity? There are some things Mastercard can't buy.

Okay, at this point, really? Did the clerks in the Reality TV Mailroom decide to play 52 pickup with all the applications? (And yes, there is one big mailroom for all reality television shows from all networks, doncha know?) I'm almost positive some of these girls actually applied to be on Pimp my Ride or Celebrity Rap Superstar.

Claire's turn. She explains she's a momma and she misses her little girl, especially cause she's still breastfeeding. Tyra asks if Claire's fed-exing the milk back to her baby. No, no, silly Tyra. CLAIRE'S drinking the breast milk. Cheese and rice, Tyra, are you trying to help all the aspiring Cycle 11 hopefuls drop those last few pounds before auditions? Because between pubic hair discussions, genital mutilation, and grown women drinking their own breast milk... I've lost my appetite for the next few days.

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Posted in America's Next Top Model by Hoolia at 3:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: neillfilm on Feb 27, 2008 02:52 PM.