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June 6, 2004

Nothing if Not Predictable

It's almost summertime and as the weather gets warmer, you can count on a number of things happening. The days are longer, the reality shows come in full force, and MTV throws awards shows that generate about as much interest as Air America. Always ones to take advantage of the latest hype in the United States, Lindsay Lohan hosts this year's awards, which were taped yesterday and will air on Thursday, June 10th. For those of you want to view all the gala and the glory of Culver City as if it were live, TVgasm will avoid spoilers of the winners, losers, bare asses, and lesbian kissers of this year's show. The one thing you can count on along with all the antics and celebrities faking their excitement at receiving a golden popcorn bucket is the frequency with which the MTV will repeat the show over the summer, so be like the TVgasm staff and tune into Game 3 of the NBA finals.

June 7, 2004

Broadway Keeps It Gay


Ah yes, early June. Time for the gayest night on national television—not the Queer as Folk season finale, not the Cher guest spot on Will & Grace, but the 58th annual Tony Awards—the night when CBS tries to make middle America warm to a bunch of old, dried-out Manhattan theater queens.

Continue reading "Broadway Keeps It Gay" »

June 12, 2004

I Tried So Hard...

I don't know what I was thinking, trying to watch the MTV Movie Awards. Maybe all those celebrities in one place led me to believe there might be some amusing, commentary-inducing action to be found. But alas, after an hour of awkward and rambling bits, scatterbrained speeches, and blatant self-promotion, I realized that I could not possibly endure any more of this silliness. So here are my thoughts on at least the first hour of this craptastic show.

Continue reading "I Tried So Hard..." »

June 15, 2004

Tantastic Conspiracy?

charlizefront.jpg The folks at TVgasm would like to give a shout out to Charlize Theron, winner of the 2004 Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of a serial killer Aileen Wuornos in Monster. Now her win wasn't exactly an upset, and we all saw it coming even before the Golden Globes. That doesn't mean that we weren't happy for her, and most of us enjoyed her run through the Hollywood awards season. There was one thing that baffled us, however, and that was the way Ms. Theron was fine strutting around from red carpet to after party with a copper glow that screamed "Mystic tan".

Continue reading "Tantastic Conspiracy?" »

July 15, 2004

Television Academy to 18-49 Year Olds: We Hate You

Our favorite batch of unimaginative award nominations finally came out today, and there were a few surprises. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm referring to the Emmys, television's annual love-fest to itself, when the least creative and inoffensive shows tend to find the spotlight. Here are some thoughts on a few of the categories:

Continue reading "Television Academy to 18-49 Year Olds: We Hate You" »

Emmy Nominations 2004: FOX Slightly More Popular Than PBS

emmyaward.jpg Every year the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences keeps America in suspense as we wait to see who gets nominated for such important categories as "Outstanding Single-Camera Sound Mixing For A Series". In 2004 we learn that everybody *hearts* HBO, as evidenced by its record 124 nominations. HBO had four series with double digit nominations including 21 for Angels in America and 20 for The Sopranos. NBC's West Wing was the only other show to crack double digits, with 12 nominations. Like every year, it seems as if the same people were nominated, but there were some surprises that should add a modicum of suspense to this year's ceremony.

Continue reading "Emmy Nominations 2004: FOX Slightly More Popular Than PBS" »

Emmy Nominations

joanofarcadia.jpgThe Emmy nominations came out this morning, but since this topic seems more suitable for our subdomain, TVgasm Awards, we've posted all our commentary about the subject over there.

August 13, 2004

For Your Consideration: Paris, Lindsay, and an Amputee

mishca_teen.jpg Ahhh, the Teen Choice Awards. Some may call it a pathetic warmup for the MTV Video Music Awards and The Emmy's. I call it likely the most exciting thing you are going to see at the Universal Amphitheater this year. And although we are unlikely to get such memorable moments as Kobe Bryant's clenched fist of protest/defiance seen at the 2003 version, we have to at least comment on a few things that caught or attention. Fresh back from the end of another successful season of The Simple Life, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie hosted the show, arriving in their pickup from the show. OK, who am I kidding? I neither watched this show nor realized it existed. I first heard that it happened after hearing about a Teen People party going on someplace near Sunset Plaza. Then I happened to notice huge swaths of hipsters, not yet of drinking age, heading towards Shelter. It must have been some night.

Continue reading "For Your Consideration: Paris, Lindsay, and an Amputee" »

September 20, 2004

Emmys Honor The Art of Boring TV

I usually love the Emmys, but man, last night was one big snorefest. Maybe it was because I was tired from standing outside in the sun at a football game, but I found it supremely difficult to keep my eyes open during this long, boring ceremony which seemed to revolve around lame Gary Shandling jokes, Angels in America, and Mos Def. Seriously, could they have cut away to Mos Def any more? I think the Academy was just excited to have a black guy in the audience. Oh wait, Chris Rock was there too, but we only saw him pissing. Anyway, for all your enjoyment, here are the Emmy moments that caused me to raise an eyebrow, raise two eyebrows, laugh, or most likely sneer.

Continue reading "Emmys Honor The Art of Boring TV" »

October 14, 2004

Chances of a Humorous Academy Awards Dramatically Increase

chris_rockTime to In a move that surprised just about everybody, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced today that Chris Rock will host the Academy Awards in 2005, marking only the fourth time since 1988 that somebody not named Billy Crystal or Whoopi Goldberg will host the show. It also marks the first time since David Letterman hosted in 1994 that the producers have picked somebody who people under 25 might think is funny. That experiment didn't work so well, but we can only hope that Chris Rock does a better job than Letterman, or we may have to wait another twenty years before we see somebody as edgy as Chris Rock host again. And speaking of Chris Rock, does he even have that much of an edge anymore? I mean, you can't rail against the establishment anymore when you have your own HBO show, starred in a movie with Anthony Hopkins, and host an awards show for one of the most stodgy organizations known to earth. Still, I will watch, and you can trust that TVgasm will be live-blogging this event, just in case you haven't been keeping up to date with all of your 'Tussin jokes.

January 18, 2005

Weekend In Review: The Good, The Bad, and the Globular

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Well, for most people another three day weekend has passed. If you were fortunate, that meant you spent the past few days drinking, sleeping, drinking, eating, and drinking again. But even in the midst of good ole weekend fun, there was TV to be had, and unfortunately, not much of it was spectacular. We had the frenetic, migraine-inducing Jonny Zero, some old fashioned "Dead Person's Remains In Your Face" on Desperate Housewives, a snooze-tastic Golden Globes show, and oh yeah, two missed field goals by the Jets (but we won't talk about that). Where to begin?

Continue reading "Weekend In Review: The Good, The Bad, and the Globular" »

February 7, 2005

TVgasm Picks The Oscars 2005

zeta_jones_awardIt's that time of year again. The Academy Awards. The best of the best of Hollywood Gather at the Kodak Theater to recognize the achievements in all things relating to motion pictures. As for the rest of us, we simply try to sneak into good parties that have free booze. TVgasm hopes to liveblog this year's Awards (which take place Sunday, February 27th), but liveblogging is no fun if there is no speculation before hand. Normally that speculation is good for nothing other than bragging rights, but this year the Official Site of the 77th Academy Awards is sponsoring a "Predict the Winners" giveaway. Yes, you have to sign up for an ABC.com account, but you do have the chance to win plasma TV, so maybe it's worth it. If you are unsure who to pick for your winners, the TVgasm writers give you a little bit of help after the jump.

Continue reading "TVgasm Picks The Oscars 2005" »

February 14, 2005

Memo to Jamie Foxx

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YOU ARE NOT RAY CHARLES


Dear Jamie Foxx,

Contrary to what you believe, you are not Ray Charles. So please win your Oscar and go away.

Sincerely,

TVgasm

P.S. Is Alicia Keys the only Ray Charles tribute person around? Last night's Grammys marked her second time in seven days that she's given an ode to Ray Charles on live TV. WE GET IT.

Update: Defamer shares our sentiment.

February 27, 2005

Liveblogging the Red Carpet

red_carpetWell, I'm sitting here bored, watching the red carpet coverage on E!, and I've decided now would be a good time to live blog.

TVgasm red carpet commentary after the jump...

Continue reading "Liveblogging the Red Carpet" »

February 28, 2005

Million Dollar Baby Sweeps the Beyoncés®

chris_rockBy m_ruv and B-Side

FINALLY. After a red wine-, Xanax-, and whippets-induced delay of which only Margot Kidder or Tom Sizemore could be proud, TVgasm presents minute-by-minute Academy Awards coverage—a Herculean (or perhaps Hecheian) bi-coastal effort brought to you by TVgasm's Los Angeles and New York offices in tandem.

Continue reading "Million Dollar Baby Sweeps the Beyoncés®" »

March 2, 2005

Jerry Springer Snubbed Again

statuette.jpgIn what is expected to be the least watched awards show since the 2004 Daytime Emmy Awards, the National Television Academy has announced today their nominees for the 2005 daytime Emmy's. Oy. < sarcasm> Still massaging my abdominals from Vanessa Marcil's hylarstical opening monologue last year < /sarcasm> I cant help but wonder why they don’t just do a private mailing of the statues, rather than forcing a nation who doesn’t care if it's gonna be Dora the Explorer, Kim Possible, or Rolie Polie Olie who takes it home, to miss our valuable primetime shows. Not to sound insensitive, but does anyone really care who had the "most outstanding opening graphics" of a daytime show? And, I kid you not, they have a category so mundane and lame it would make the Dali Llama break out in a "Are you F-ing kidding me?" Outstanding Service Show, with such nominees as "30 Minute Meals," "Great Hotels," and for the fetishist in all of us "Barefoot Contessa."

On that note, I'm going to go set my Tivo to record GOOD TIMES reruns, so Ill have something to watch Friday, May 20, when the Daytime Emmy will be interrupting my prime-time from New York City’s Radio City Music Hall 9:00 – 11:00 p.m.

All nominees can be seen after the jump.

Continue reading "Jerry Springer Snubbed Again" »

March 8, 2005

Emmys Announce Possible Category Changes, TVgasm Has the Inside Scoop

emmy_statueA whole lot could be changin' with the Emmys this year. According to an AP article, the Academy is thinking of reintroducing the Outstanding New Television Series award and offloading several of the miniseries categories to the less impressive and thankfully untelevised creative arts Emmy ceremony. I personally am for all the changes, but some critics of the reshuffling have accused the broadcasters of simply pulling the rug out from under HBO which normally dominates the "made-for" categories. Could it be that such ulterior motives are at play here? Luckily, TVgasm has an exclusive list of other award categories the networks are pushing for...

Continue reading "Emmys Announce Possible Category Changes, TVgasm Has the Inside Scoop" »

June 8, 2005

PIAZZAS FOR EVERYBODY

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So, those 59th annual Tony Awards. Nothing like a chance to see Hugh Jackman and other leggy drag queens in a variety of "liberal" situations. I confess that I quasi-missed the first few minutes of the show because I was too busy doing an inventory of all my illegally obtained pharmaceuticals—next time I'll have Lindsay Lohan help me.

I don't think I missed a whole lot at the beginning: there was a montage of moments from various musical disasters, a brief appearance by Julia Stiles and her silky contrabass, and some outlandish displays of Jackman masculinity, such as sequined pants. Anyway, after about forty minutes, I finished arranging my Paxil in neat little rows and was free to watch.

Continue reading "PIAZZAS FOR EVERYBODY" »

July 14, 2005

The Emmys Keep It Fresh!

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Still got it!

The 2005 Emmy nominations came out today, and although there was plenty of hype that this year's list would be "wide open," it's nice to see that the stodgy academy members have kept it simple and dumb. Back again for more adulation: Will & Grace, The West Wing, and Everybody Loves Raymond. Fantastic! Okay, true, we finally got some lovin' for Scrubs (Outstanding Comedy), but anyone who's seen the show recently knows that the best years of this comedy may be behind it. Arrested Development fans must surely be happy that smug Jason Bateman received a nom, despite being the show's weakest cast member, but where's the love for Will Arnett or David Cross?

Unsurprisingly, ABC's brother and sister hits, Lost and Desperate Housewives, both scooped up plenty of noms (but none for you, EVA LONGORIA! Ha!), and I'm sure Emmy defenders will say, "See! Something new! We're edgy!" but honestly, who wasn't expecting these series to clean up? That's okay though. At least they kept Joey and Blind Justice out of the potential winner's circle.

In the omission department, The OC received nada in terms of the major acting prizes (sorry, Peter Gallagher), and internet geek favorite Veronica Mars remained shut out as well (still haven't seen it though). Most glaringly, however, was Shohreh Aghdashloo whose superb performance on 24 went completely unrecognized. For shame, voters.

At least one category seemed truly well-picked: reality competition. Up for the award: Survivor, The Apprentice, American Idol, Amazing Race, and Project Runway. Can't argue with that group. Also, in the Reality Program category, the struggling Project Greenlight received a much-deserved nom as well. Still crossing my fingers for a follow-up Gulager season...

There's plenty more to discuss (Blythe Danner got three nominations? Shut up, BLYTHE!); so check out the official list of Emmy nominations or simply read the abridged AP article.

What do you think about the noms?

July 16, 2005

More Emmy Nomination Complaining

shohreh_emmyStill bummed about this year's Emmy nominations? Me too. Of course, everyone knows that the Emmys represent a triumph of PR over quality, which is essentially one of the major problems with today's televised universe. The networks wonder why their viewerships are constantly eroding, and then they go and honor tired, unfunny shows like Will and Grace. But enough ranting. Let's wallow instead. Take a look at TV Guide's "Dream Ballot." It's the magazine's humble attempt to design the world's best Emmy race ever. For the most part, the picks seem fairly reasonable. Yeah, it's a bit too heavy on the Gilmore Girls (I detest that show), but aside from that, the Emmy voters could do themselves a solid and bone up for next year's nominations.

In the meantime, I'll humbly submit my dream ballot. I'm a bit behind on my trendy FX and HBO shows, but I'll try to do my best...

Continue reading "More Emmy Nomination Complaining" »

September 10, 2005

The Golden Gasms

goldengasmWith the Emmys just over a week away, we here at TVgasm felt the need to step up and honor television with our own set of accolades. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the first ever Golden Gasm Awards, honoring the best in television over the past year. Following the jump, you'll find all our nominations in categories ranging from Worst Show of the Year to Best Hostess to Most Memorable Moment, Scripted to Best Television Series, Unscripted. The TVgasm staff, as well as certain invited guests, will vote this week, and the official awards will be announced Friday afternoon, just in time for Emmy weekend.

We have yet to actually purchase trophies for our esteemed competition, but in the meantime, winners will receive commemorative index cards with their names written on them and a free dinner at The Olive Garden, redeemable up to two weeks after the results are announced. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

The official Golden Gasm List of Nominees after the jump...

Continue reading "The Golden Gasms" »

September 15, 2005

TVgasm to LiveBlog Emmys

We weren't sure if it was going to happen, but after a number of people sent e-mails in, TVgasm has decided to liveblog the Emmys. Now, this is going to be a west coast feed liveblog, which means it starts at 8PM Pacific, which means that most of the people on the east coast will already know what happened. Nevertheless, it will give something for people to laugh at when they get into work on Monday. Depending on how the fantasy football goes, we may even take a stab at some red carpet. If we were really motivated, we would traipse around Sunset and try and crash some parties, but we would probably end up at some random lounge drunkenly conversing with Drew Carey. If you are looking to tune in "live" we'll get going around 8PM Pacific on Sunday.

Hope to see you there!

September 16, 2005

Golden Gasms 2005: Winners Revealed!

goldengasmIt's official. The votes have been cast, the results have been tallied, and the all-Beyoncé musical medley has been performed on stage. Without further ado, we present the winners of the 2005 Golden Gasm Awards, honoring the best and worst of the television landscape.

Our esteemed panel of judges includes the TVgasm staff (B-Side, J-Unit, sg-dub, youcantmakeitup, Kat, copygodd, and EdHill) as well as invited guests from the blogosphere and beyond. They are (in alphabetical order):

Winners will receive a free dinner at The Olive Garden (redeemable until September 30, 2005) as well as commemorative index cards with their names written on them. We all agree that this is a fantastic deal.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the envelope please...

Continue reading "Golden Gasms 2005: Winners Revealed!" »

September 18, 2005

Emmy Awards Live Blog!

img_emmyWe were so caught up in the Raiders game that we nearly forgot about the Emmys until the Tivo turned over to CBS at 8 PM. I guess that's our cue. Let's start this thing.

Oh, and since we didn't draft out a nice little intro with a picture ahead of time, we'll just use this stupid picture of Jennifer Garner that Yahoo has left up for the past two days.

Continue reading "Emmy Awards Live Blog!" »

September 19, 2005

Inside the TV Guide Emmy Party

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Jonny Fairplay and Madeyoulaugh: reunited at last.

Madeyoulaugh may no longer be writing for TVgasm, but he still keeps us in his heart. That's why he sent us these exclusive, dimly lit, camera-phone pics from inside the TV Guide Emmy Party. Prepare to have your breath taken away.

Continue reading "Inside the TV Guide Emmy Party" »

Newsgasm: Emmy Recovery Edition

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  • The Emmys were last night. In case you missed it, Lost and Everybody Loves Raymond picked up the awards for Outstanding Drama and Comedy, respectively (although the amount of laughs for each show is certainly up for debate). The AP has the full list of winners. And, of course, there's always the TVgasm Live Blog. [AP]

  • Looks like that Emmy Idol did the trick. Ratings were up this year! [Hollywood Reporter]

  • The Hollywood Reporter analyzes the winners and losers of last night's ceremony. It's worth the read, just to see the writer become increasingly frustrated and angry. [Hollywood Reporter]

  • And if you just can't get enough Emmy coverage, check out these generally unmemorable quotes from backstage. [Variety]

January 18, 2006

A Bareback Breastacular

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Are you an ardent masochist? If so you would've LOVED this weekend's 63rd annual Golden Globe Awards. LOVED. Though the show was relatively streamlined, the train wrecks came fast and furious from the very beginning. The icing on the self-flagellation cake by far was the celebrity arrivals coverage. Amid a long tradition of embarrassingly bad red carpet "specials"—Kathy Griffin, Star Jones, Billy Bush, Joan Rivers, need one go further—this one truly took the prize. The hour-long nightmare landscape of fake air kisses, "what it is, girlfriend"s, and, inexplicably, Dean Cain, nearly led me to put out my eyes and eardrums with blunt pencils. It was a true delight. Insipid, shallow, minute-by-minute coverage begins below.

Continue reading "A Bareback Breastacular" »

January 23, 2006

There She Is, Miss Bore-merica

MissOKEvery year, it seems like some alarmist article pops up, noting the ratings decay of one of America's most beloved institutions, The Miss America Pageant. Back in the day, this parade of evening gowns, swimwear, and vacuousness used to be a big deal, but now, well, no one seems to care. I personally hadn't seen the competition in over ten years, and in that time, it has managed to dissolve into nothingness first on NBC and then on ABC. Well, now the grandmommy of latter-day reality talent shows has moved to CMT, and for some odd reason, I felt compelled to watch this year. I don't know if it was a sense of blogger obligation or maybe a morbid curiosity to see how the "hip" new Vegas makeover would look, but I Tivoed this bad boy with hopes that I'd find a treasure trove of horrifying moments. Needless to say, if you thought the pun in this post's title was labored, it was nothing compared to the pageant.

Continue reading "There She Is, Miss Bore-merica" »

March 3, 2006

TVgasm 2006 Oscar Ballot

The Academy Awards are just around the corner, and if you're like me, you're a little bored with the standard office Oscar pool ballots. That's why we've created the TVgasm.com Oscar Ballot. It asks the real questions: who will be the biggest upset? Who will be the worst presenter? And how many Brokeback Mountain jokes will we hear? Ballot after the jump.

Download a printable copy here. (PDF required)

Continue reading "TVgasm 2006 Oscar Ballot" »

March 6, 2006

Yep, It Was That Kind of Night

Lordy lordy. In case you hadn't heard, the 78th annual Academy Awards were last night, and boy were they a doozy. Where to begin. Crash, which pulled off a huge upset? Dolly Parton, who brought her two sisters along? Jon Stewart, who will likely never be invited back? Altogether, though the ceremony remained mind-numbing even at a relatively "pared-down" three and a half hours, there were enough memorable moments to make the self-torture worth it.

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And so it begins. The red carpet coverage is dominated primarily by Dolly Parton's well-nigh-architectural bustline. Seriously, if America has one surefire defense against Al-Qaeda, it's these puppies. Otherwise, the red carpet is, as always, an orgy of unconcealed ass-kissing. The surprising thing this year is that the stars no longer even try to mask their disdain for the red-carpet press. Also notable is the fact that the phrase "good night and good luck" has become, for reporters, the equivalent of one of those electric bug-zapping lights: you can tell they're striving like mad to avoid it, but the allure of its sweet snappy rhythms COMPELS THEM TO USE IT EVERY TIME.

Continue reading "Yep, It Was That Kind of Night" »

May 31, 2006

Shop 'Til You Drop At The MTV Movie Awards!

oldladies053106The MTV Movie Awards are being filmed this weekend in Los Angeles, and our very own Katie and Madeyoulaugh will actually be at the red carpet (!) (J-Unit and I will be live blogging the ceremony when it airs next Thursday night). There should be plenty of excitement there, and as is the case with all awards shows, the celebrities will be receiving extravagant, ridiculous gift bags. MTV kindly sent us a press release about all the goodies, and needless to say, it's all quite insane. I was going to write commentary about each item, but truthfully, there are just too many to deal with. And here's the thing: half of the SWAG is totally dumb. My favorite giveaway comes courtesy of Superman Returns: "Superman Returns will be gifting a deluxe S3 Select Series Sculpt figure of Superman from the new hit film and a choice of the “Superman Returns” Inflato-Suit or the Remote Controlled Flying Superman figure." Oh great. I was just telling my friends about how badly I need a "Superman Returns" Inflato-Suit.

Full list of junk after the jump...

Continue reading "Shop 'Til You Drop At The MTV Movie Awards!" »

June 8, 2006

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 1 of 9

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MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

Because our red carpet footage was too big for some people, we've decided to parse it out into chunks. Think of it as a Clipgasm tapas. In this clip, Katie and Madeyoulaugh discover the joys of being at the bottom of the "blue carpet" totem pole.

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 1 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 2 of 9

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MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

In this clip, Katie and Madeyoulaugh make a guy do a cool martial arts move. Plus, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Alba, and Rihanna.

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 2 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 3 of 9

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MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

In this clip, the cast of The Hills, some guy named Drake Bell, and a red carpet freakout by Andy Dick.

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 3 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 4 of 9

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MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

Jessica Simpson, anyone? Surely we won't mess this up!

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 4 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Intermission

So many clips! Thought we'd toss in the Chenbot just to vary things up...

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 5 of 9

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MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

Andy Milonakis is a man of many talents, but did you know that freestyling was one of them? Yes, Andy busted out some rhymes for us exclusively. It's a sight to behold. Sort of.

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 5 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 6 of 9

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MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

In this clip, Katie talks to Davey from AFI and LL Cool J. Plus, Madeyoulaugh makes an awkward comment to Jeffrey Ross.

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 6 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 7 of 9

MTVBb
MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

More fun at the awards! Pimp Squad Clique, Brooke Hogan, Landon from Real World Philly, and Donald Faison!

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 7 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 8 of 9

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MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

The motherlode! Dane Cook! Flavor Flav! Steve-o! Jay Davis! And -- wait for it, wait for it -- The Carter Family (Aaron, Nick, and others!).

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 8 of 9" »

TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 9 of 9

MTVIb
MTV Movie Awards, MTV, 6/8/06, 9 PM EST.

Ah, the last installment. Here's a montage of all the celebrities we didn't get to speak to, including Kate Beckinsale. Or as I call her, Kate Bitch-insale. Ha, I sure got her!

Movie after the jump...

Continue reading "TVgasm Crashes The 2006 MTV Movie Awards: Part 9 of 9" »

MTV Movie Awards 2006 Live Blog 6-8-06

Tonight was one of the most enchanting nights of television EVER. No, they didn't show a rerun of, and Oprah's Legends Ball, although I wish they would turn that special into a documentary. It was the night of the 2006 MTV Movie Awards and TVgasm was busy liveblogging the event for you. I had hoped to go on with B-side because I know the readers have been clamoring for the two founders of TVgasm to be on screen, but technical issues and fear of the apocalypse held us back. B-side was there, and so was madeyoulaugh, Katie, and our new superstar, Sugar.

Thanks to everybody who joined us in the chat and by Instant messenger. See you next time! And if you missed the 2006 MTV Movie Awards tonight, check your local listings to find out when it airs again.

June 26, 2006

Don't You Forget About These

Emmy062606A few weeks ago, I had the stellar idea to write a post about which shows and performances the Emmy voters shouldn't overlook as they cast their ballots for the nomination process. I was going to have the article up the day after the TV season drew to a close (May 25th), but then one thing after another fell on my plate, and here we are now, a month later and three days after the nomination period has ended. So I guess this won't be so much a memo to the academy as it will be a "You Better Not Have Overlooked..." post. And if none of our choices are nominated, we only have ourselves to blame. That being said, check out some of our picks after the jump...

Continue reading "Don't You Forget About These" »

July 6, 2006

The Emmys Are Here! The Emmys Are Here!

Emmys070606This morning at some ungodly hour the 58th Annual Primetime Emmy nominations were announced by past Emmy winners Brad Garrett and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (herself an Emmy contender for The New Adventures of Old Christine). After year after year of hearing the same old tired series get nominated, a major revamp has been put in place to help the voting process along. A committee of Emmy voting members was assembled and they whittled down the huge entries in each category to about 10 - 15 potential nominees. Then the entire Academy votes the top five from that smaller list. The theory is that lazy voters (you know who you are!) won't just mindlessly check the Will & Grace box if they aren't overwhelmed with 25-plus nominees in every category. It's a great theory, but did it help the shows it was supposed to -- like Veronica Mars, Gilmore Girls and Battlestar Galactica? Find out after the jump.

Continue reading "The Emmys Are Here! The Emmys Are Here!" »

August 1, 2006

Awesomely Offensive

SPEMMY.JPGIn today's Variety magazine, Comedy Central took out this full page Emmy congratulating South Park on its Emmy nomination for "Trapped in the Closet." I can only assume this was designed prior to Gibsongate, but I for one applaud its well rounded offensiveness and tactless timing.

Not only would I vote for South Park to win the Emmy, but I nominate Stone/Parker for a bid in 2008.

If you don't find this Emmy ad the least bit offensive, I guarantee you that this Emmy ad which ran is last years Variety is sure to offend all reason and good taste.

August 25, 2006

Emmy Weekend Commeth!

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Oh yeah. The Emmys are this weekend. As is our responsibility as television bloggers, we'll be checking out the festivities from the couch, blogging live here at TVgasm. Be sure to check out the site starting at 8 PM PST where we'll be writing as we watch/drink/bemoan the winners.

August 27, 2006

Emmy Awards NOW NOW NOW!

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We just ordered some food to the TVgasm offices and we'll be starting the Live Blog at 8PM PST. Due to spoiler worries, we won't be taking comments until after we are done, but feel free to get all spoilery In The Forums or in the Chat.

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August 28, 2006

The Stars are Bustin Out at the Emmys!

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The 2006 Primetime Emmy Awards were last night and those of you paying attention to the ceremony might have been surprised to see nipple on air. Yes folks, there was a slight wardrobe malfunction starring Mindy Kaling of The Office. As she was hugging some of her costars, Mindy was accidentally bumped, and out popped a little bit more of Ms. Kaling for all the world to see. I had my money on Katherine Heigl or Virginia Madsen giving the show, but I guess the folks at The Office are a little more competitive than I would have thought.

We thought that network executives everywhere would be more vigilant after we caught Mischa Barton popping out last year, but this nipple still made it to the West Coast broadcast. Some may say that we are making a big deal about a fleeting moment of not-quite nudity, but hey, a nipple is a nipple, and we just had to share. Screencaps and video after the jump.

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TVgasm Infiltrates Emmy Party In Hollywood

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With the arrival of the 2006 Emmy Award ceremony, tonight was television's biggest night. And any night that's big for TV is big for TVgasm. That's why J-Unit and I dressed up all nice, pulled some Hollywood connections, and made our way into one of the biggest Emmy parties of the night. Needless to say, it was awesome. J-Unit mixed and mingled with several cast members from Grey's Anatomy (including The Pomp), and I got to hobnob with a few pro-athletes, including my favorite football player, Hines Ward!

So while you may read many silly "insider" accounts of what goes on at these Emmy parties, rest assured. We have the inside scoop. Photos after the jump...

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COMING SOON : MYL's Night @ The Emmys

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My Emmy night was like eating a cupcake while getting a handjob from Gem and the Holograms while Mr. Belvedere did my laundry. Yes, tonight was one hell of a TVgasm. Story coming soon...

August 29, 2006

One Night In Emmy

emmykiss.JPGThis Sunday was the Emmy's which of course means Emmy parties!

You may remember last year during my hiatus from TVgasm, I took some photos with a terrible camera phone at the TVGUIDE Emmy party, to send to J-Unit & B-Side, that year my big "get" was Johnny Fairplay. But this year, I am back with TVgasm, and I felt an obligation, nay a duty, to get good story and good photos for you our loyal readers. Well I am here to tell you I sorta failed. I mean I got some great photos, and incredible video which we will be sharing on here in the next day or so, but the more drunk I got the more shameful asskissy I became. I apologize in advance for the PerezHiltian photos..that is to say, there is way too much "me" but I think you'll still like.

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Clipgasm: EXCLUSIVE Musicgasm Edition

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As I mentioned in my recap, TV GUIDE Emmy party served as a platform for the world debut of the band known as Band from TV. With the vocals of Bob Guiney (The Scorned) and Bonnie Somerville (Kitchen Confidential) leading the band, a strong support comes in the form of James Denton (Desperate Housewives) on strummin guitar, Hugh Laurie (House M.D.) tappin' the keys, and Greg Grunberg (Heroes) poundin' out the drums. USA TODAY gives a little insight to the band's genesis and charity work and even offers a short, clear clip of the band rehearsing (minus the members of the band that actually make it worth watching). Here's the thing about this gimmicky, schticky band....they are really good. While there's no original music, the covers are classic and the band members enthusiasm for the music is contagious.

I recorded a few short clips on my camera for personal historical documentation, but it's something so few people got to see, I have to share a bit. I appologize in advance for the audio and shakyness, but it was late, room was dark, and I was drunk. Think of it as Blaire Witch music.

For information on the band and future live performances you can reference their website here. If the link to buy their CD actually worked, it'd be on my iPod by now.

August 31, 2006

Who's Partying Hard at the VMAs?

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The MTV Video Music Awards are tonight, and while we won't be there (please, it's double eviction night on Big Brother), I'm sure there will be many people around to party in our place. Take for instance this young, aspiring starlet. We don't know how old she is, but we're pretty sure she's not quite drinking age. Still, that didn't seem to stop her from sipping down a mojito at the AOL Style Gifting Studio during a pre-show party. Just who is this adoring fan of Cuban libations? Anticlimactic answer after the jump...

Thanks to Jeff for sending in the photos.

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October 25, 2006

TVgasm Goes Inside The Reality Remix Really Awards

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Rambah!

Last night in Hollywood, the Fox Reality Network held their first ever Reality Remix Really Awards. As you can imagine, it was an event on par with the Emmys, the Oscars, and perhaps even the closing ceremonies for the Olympics. It was that important. Oh, what am I saying? I'm already writing this with a highfalutin attitude, as if anything pertaining to reality stars is so utterly beneath me. Whatever. Reality stars + awards = my type of night, and thankfully, the good people at Fox Reality were kind enough to invite me to the show. Needless to say, my brain pretty much instantly exploded as soon as I arrived and saw reality stars as far as the eye could see. They ranged from obscure (some girl from Who Wants To Be A Soap Star?) to famous (Flavor Flav), from iconic (Omarosa) to overexposed (um, Omarosa again). Point was, I was in a constant state of taking inventory, trying to commit as many names and faces as I could to memory. Unfortunately, there were just too many to keep track of, but in this age of digital cameras and techno-wizardry, I was able to document most of the run-ins on my handy-dandy Canon Digital Elph (and to think that I came this close to forgetting to put the battery inside).

After the jump, a collection of the best photos from the party. And also a description of perhaps the most disturbing thing I've seen all year.

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November 3, 2006

Clipgasm: Kanye Whines Edition

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2006 MTV Europe Awards, MTV2, 11/2/06

We knew some good would come out of watching the 2006 MTV Europe Awards. On last night's telecast, Kanye West lost out for Best Video to European duo Justice and Simian (oh sorry, did I spoil that for you? I know you were dying to learn the outcome). Anyway, no one puts Baby in the corner, and the same goes for Kanye, who angrily walked out on stage and ranted on about why he should have won this ever so prestigious award. For more information on the awards, click here, but to see the actual incident, click above. Beware: there's some not very work-safe use of the n-word.

November 7, 2006

Newsgasm: The People Have Spoken!

peoples110706With today being election day in North America, what better opportunity for that most populist of awards shows to announce its nominations? That's right, The People's Choice Awards revealed its latest batch of noms, and as usual, they were a bit, uh, suspect. For instance, Cameron Diaz earned a nod for "Leading Lady," even though she hasn't been in a movie, you know, in over a year (according to the IMDb, her last release was September 2005's In Her Shoes). On the plus side, the nominees were announced by, among others, Neil Patrick Harris and Isaiah Washington, the latter of whom resisted the urge to start a brawl whilst in the presence of a gay man. And honestly, isn't that what The People's Choice Awards are all about? Not middling taste levels and a warm embrace of Middle America, but total, unadulterated acceptance and toleration. Huzzah!

For a list of all the nominees, click here (Not safe for work -- there's no porn or anything. It's just really embarrassing to look at People's Choice nominees in a public area).

January 16, 2007

Recap: The Golden Globes: You Do Not Know How Much Blogging The Globes Does To My Confidence!

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Hollywood celebrated itself last night as the 64th annual Golden Globe Awards rolled into town. Actually, it was more like Hollywood celebrated Britain as every other winner seemed to come from across the pond. Whether it was Hugh Laurie or Jeffrey Irons or Helen Mirren or Helen Mirren again, everyone was a Brit. Plus, we learned something very important. Contrary to popular belief, not all British people can whip out a hilarious, witty, extemporaneously biting speech. I'm looking at you, Mirren (and the guy who's the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press). But enough babbling. Time to relive all the high points (Sacha Baron Cohen) and low points (Maria Menounos) of the evening.

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February 27, 2007

Recap: The 79th Annual Acadamy Awards: Oscar Race

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Case of beer? Check. Carton of smokes? Check. Enough Ben and Jerry's to feed a small village? Check.

I take a good long look at myself in the mirror and focus my energy. Ever since I was a little boy I've dreamt of blogging the Acadamy Awards...oh who am I kidding? I picked this shift up last minute cuz B-Side needed time off to "find himself" and he knew I wouldn't have a date. That said, I love TVGasm, I love the Oscars, and I love bingeing on alcohol, smokes, and ice cream, so let's do this!

Ladies and Gentelmen! Live from the Kodak Theater (and my unmade bed)! The 79th Annual Acadamy Awards!

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September 4, 2007

TVgasm Fall Predictions

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The Fall TV Season starts in the next couple of weeks, so we asked our writers to give us a run down of what's to come. There's a lot of promise for good new shows, and as always, there's a lot of promise for some reeeeeeeeally bad ones, too. That's Fall, Kid!

Welcome to TVgasm's Fall Predictions!

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September 17, 2007

Recap: Emmy Pre-Show

by ChickBomb and Lushy

So dolls, who loves award shows? Well, me neither! Long and boring are the two words that come to mind. So for this year's Emmys, I went on a mission to make watching the show a tres fab experience. I corralled a group of my girls to cocktail, watch the show and say witty and clever things that I could write down and share with the Gasmii. The cocktailing went great. The watching went off without a hitch (well, with the exception of the unusually large amount of technical difficulty on the telecast, but that's not our fault). Witty and clever? Perhaps. Bitchy and drunk? Most definitely.

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You have a cavity.

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September 18, 2007

Recap: The Emmys: Part Two

by ChickBomb, Dreamgirl, Capri, Lushy and Belladonna

Three hours and two more bottles of champagne later, and rest of the crew arrives. While I scrape Lushy off the patio furniture, say hello to Dreamgirl, Capri and Belladonna. Air kisses abound, we toast and then we gossip. Then we miss the beginning of the Emmys. So let's pick it up there.

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Seacrest is looking pale.

Continue reading "Recap: The Emmys: Part Two" »

October 3, 2007

Real Places: Fox Reality Awards

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The Fox Reality Awards were held last night in Hollywood, and those suckas let me, ChickBomb and our good friend and local hero Trisha in to make trouble. We were skeptical at first. Trisha took one look around the room and said "How can you tell who anyone is under all those layers of makeup? It's like a room of casserole faces."

Everyone was really nice, like they had no idea we were just going to come home and make fun of them with you. Hullo. Smarten up, reality stars! You will notice that there are zero pictures of Chickbomb in this article. Sorry, but she insists on maintaining her private life. Instead, you will get me, my eight chins, and Trisha. Let's get to it!

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October 25, 2007

Contest: iPod Nano from the CMA's

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is it just me, or does it appear that this years CMAs
are brought to you by
Starfleet Academy?

To help promote the CMA's on ABC, TVgasm is offering a CMA prize pack to one of our readers and their viewers.

Included in the Prize Pack will be:

  • CMA BAG
  • CMA MUG
  • CMA TSHIRT
  • iPod Nano

By my count, thats over a trillion dollars in prizes. . . though math is not my strong suit.

All you have to do to win is tune in to ABC on November 7th at 8/7c and watch the CMA's. I am not a huge fan of awards shows, so after you watch the show instead of emailing me your favorite moment, I want you to email me the bottom 3 moments of the show and why there were bad. The good things will wind up on youtube, but the bad stuff Ill never get to see and that's where you come in. Email me at madeyoulaugh@tvgasm.com, subject line CMA. The best of the worst as deemed by me will win the prize pack - - as always, originality counts so have fun with this. Entries will be accepted until November 9th, 11:59pm PST.

Remember: Contests like these, news and more can always be found by clicking on over to our newsgasm section. Now TB free!

October 30, 2007

CLIPGASM: TVgasm goes to Spikes Scream 2007

Last week Spike aired the SCREAM 2007 AWARDS and TVgasm was on the red carpet. We had hoped to show this footage last week, but due to technical problems, we are just now able to show you the footage.

Below, enjoy Moviegasmer Sutter Cane who's weekly box office reports and reviews can be seen in the Newsgasm section as well as Newsgasm guru Nads as they take you to the SCREAM 2007.


Click to play

February 26, 2008

Oscar Blog 2008: Where Are My Tears, Bitches??

Welcome to a lackluster celebration of celebrity! My heart sank as I watched The Oscars. I could milk more humor from the Menendez Brothers E! True Hollywood Story. But alas here we are, the most important night in The Entertainment Industry and therefore THE WORLD, so you better be watching, eyes glazing over with the rest of us. This journey won't take four hours of your life, nor a little piece of your soul, so let's begin!

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This awards show needs an operatic serial killer.

Continue reading "Oscar Blog 2008: Where Are My Tears, Bitches??" »

July 17, 2008

A Recap of Today's Emmy Nominations: Schoonie's Take

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"I'd better win, or the backlash will be legen....wait for it...."

The list of Emmy nominees was released this morning. I was going to comment over on my own blog, but then it occurred to me that I could post my nomination recap on that...other blog that I write for. You know, the one that has something to do with TV. Crap, I can't remember the name.

Continue reading "A Recap of Today's Emmy Nominations: Schoonie's Take" »

September 22, 2008

2008 Emmys: We All Are Tina Fey's Bitch

Another year, another Emmys, and another 3+ hours of my life I'll never get back...

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Can you feel the excitement?

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September 22, 2009

The 2009 Emmys: Television Bops Its Baloney For Over Three Hours

Life is funny sometimes. When I want to engage in self-abuse, I lock all the doors and make sure the drapes are closed. When TV wants to give itself a massive three hour handjob, they book a block of prime time on CBS. Oh, and they have musical numbers. Well so do I, but I at least have the decency to feel a sense of shame about it. So make the jump and watch TV go blind at the 2009 Emmy Awards.

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OK let's try to refrain from making Nazi symbols with our legs tonight, k?

Continue reading "The 2009 Emmys: Television Bops Its Baloney For Over Three Hours" »

December 29, 2009

TVGasm's Year In Review: Best and Worst

It's the time of year where we celebrate the best and worst of the TV season. Sit back, relax, and join us on our trip down memory lane, won't you?

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HOW CAN WE CHOOOOSE?

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January 18, 2010

Fashiongasm - 2010 Golden Globes

It's award season! I could take or leave the self congratulatory show, but I lovelovelovelove the clothes. That's why I'm on the case for the pre-show action. Tonight's victim is the Golden Globes. I'm tuning in to E!'s live from the red carpet coverage, because that's where Ryan Seacrest is.

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Whenever you complain to yourself about how many hours you work, look at Seacrest. He works ten jobs and still has time to gel his hair and spray on a tan. Inspiration, thy name is Seacrest.

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Golden Globes 2010 - HAITI

Welcome to the booziest awards show of the year! Well, except the Grammy's, but we'll get to that later this month. I invited my good friends Monamonzano and Amanda over and we downed a few bottles of wine and some Little Caesar's (of course) while pointing at the TV and laughing really hard. This isn't a recap, per se, just some friends having a good time in front of a giant TV with a dog at our sides that had some really sour wind. Join us, won't you? This is the 2010 Golden Globes!!

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I will be going for a solid MEH tonight.

Continue reading "Golden Globes 2010 - HAITI" »

Golden Globes 2010 - HAITI Part 2

This is a continuation of the first part of the Golden Globes, which you can find here.

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Mona: Stop fingering the award! This isn't The Lovely Bones!

Continue reading "Golden Globes 2010 - HAITI Part 2" »

About Awards Shows

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to TVgasm Recaps in the Awards Shows category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

Average Joe is the previous category.

Baby Borrowers is the next category.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.