Testimonials

BS: I'm FFing.

IS: Yeah, I can already tell we are not going to feel the emotions this song is telling us to feel. I feel nothing and would like to continue to do so.

Owen Wilson presents short films, nose looking weirder than normal and we wonder if it fluctuates under duress.

BS: It's weird when adults make short films. They only do that in foreign countries.
I have never reflected upon this, but perhaps he is correct.

When animated short films comes up BS says that the stop-motion is the go-to for this category, because it's harder. This time there are two stop-motion animated shorts and we FF so we don't know which wins. I am possibly the worst journalist evs, and am content with this knowledge.

Now we get a montage of every Best Supporting Actress and this is a category with no clear Javier-like victor. I've been wanting Tilda Swinton to win, but don't think she pull it out...but she wins! And oh, god, she's dressed in an As Four-esque trash bag, but she gives a decent speech and we give her a pass. We get a cutaway of Michael Clayton director, Tony Gilroy, who as it turns out, is really hot. Eat your heart out, DDL, I'm moving on.

It's casual and dressy. She should have put makeup on half of her face to really make this work.

Josh Brolin and James Macavoy deliver Oscar one-liners from screenplays based on material previously published, and it's is as awesome as it sounds. We wake up when we see Sarah Polley.

BS: Sarah Polley is nominated! Good for her! Hot, young and talented. I love her.

IS: Whatever. It was based on something written.

(BS gives me the look. We have a thing called "The Order of Praise", which means it is only acceptable if BS compliments a girl if I've complimented her first. If he compliments first, he insists I always say something negative. I think the results are inconclusive to say that that's true, but we are an absolute stitch to watch in real life since all we pretty much do is discuss the appearances of females we see. And I wish I were kidding.)

Joel and Ethan Coen win for "No Country for Old Men" and I like the look of these two. I hope we'll see more of them tonight.

We do some FFing, because this shit is getting really boring and I check the TVgasm website to discover that the Make Me a Supermodel recap is up and make a mental note to read it later. I'm checking the gasm. This is how thrilling the Oscars are this year.

And suddenly Hannah Montana is presenting at the Oscars. This gives me hope Danity Kane will be performing after all. She introduces another Enchanted song, "How does she know?" with Kristen Chenowith singing, because Amy Adams is crying in the bathroom still. And I can't focus on anything but the twenty gay "construction workers" jeté-ing around the stage.

If she had pulled some of this out for West Wing, that show might still be on the air.

IS: I'm beginning to think the Oscars isn't the high brow event I used to.

BS: Well, maybe you didn't see the Bongo player back there.

Jon Stewart attempts to make a joke about all celebrities being knocked up, but only the guy on Dlisted.com makes celebrity pregnancies funny. Everyone else, thanks for playing. (go, bloggers!)

Now we get sound editing with Dame Judy Dench and Halle Berry, but it's actually Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill and they do a really tedious, who's-the-Halle-Berry number, which is like Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion when they argue over who's the Mary and who's the Rhoda. Er, you both lose this round.

Bourne Ultimatum wins.

BS: Well, Bourne was loud and that guy has a ponytail. That's a match made in editing heaven.

IS: They need to stop the Halle Barry joke. Ugh, now sound mixing? Every year I ask this and every year I still don't understand the difference between sound editing and sound mixing.

BS: You never will.

And now for Best Actress. I want Laura Linney to win, which says a lot, because I didn't even like The Savages, but we think it's Julie Christy or Ellen Page.

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Posted in Awards Shows by InternetSensation at 4:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Snarky on Feb 27, 2008 08:11 PM.