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And, in the one category upset...it's Marion Cotillard! And it's quite rewarding. God, she's hot, regardless of Order of Praise. She's so shocked and we don't make fun of her because we both like watching pretty girls cry. In fact, she's the only one that brings tears to this. This is a seriously disappointing year.

Thank you! I was starting to feel like everyone is dead inside.

After a commercial break John Stewart and this girl play video games projected onto the back of the stage and it's so dumb I contemplate dropping the blogging and working on the My Fair Brady recap.

Colin Farrell introduces the next Oscar song, which is from the movie "Once". I only heard bad things about this movie, so I never saw it and BS tells me they're a real-life couple. And that this song is so moving I'm not allowed to type during their performance. And then he insists I include this so all aspiring actors out there may take note.

BS: Being a musician in a biopic is the new retard/Holocaust victim. So if you were a retard musician in the Holocaust you'd be guaranteed your Oscar. Write that down.

IS: Oh, I am.

Jack Nicholson introduces a montage of every best picture. We both sort of come back to life since we feel like we have to be headed into the home stretch and we enjoy rating all 79 pictures with a WTF, good, great. Crash definitely got the biggest WTF. It still bums me out to this day that it won. The only divisive winner was The Sound of Music. That movie made me who I am today, which is pretty awesome.

Reneé Zellweger introduces best film editing, looking like she's seen far better, carb-eating days.

IS: I used to do a really good Reneé Zellweger impersonation. I bet I could still do it, but she's not really relevant anymore so there's no point in ever doing it.

BS: Why does she look so fake and awful? I can't look at her.

We FF but can tell that The Bourne Ultimatum wins, which we both agree that this installment of the trinity indeed had a lot of edits.

Nicole Kidman presents the Honorary Oscar looking somewhat less waxen, perhaps with the glow of pregnancy, but she has an unfortunate situation where her necklace keeps catching on her boob and it's distracting.

Robert Boyle is a production designer and he wins an Honorary Oscar. Nicole tells us that he set "the standard" that all films follow, but it looks like he's only done Alfred Hitchcock movies. I wake up when I see Kim Novak.

IS: Hey! There's Kim Novak! Now she was a hot bitch.

BS: Alfred Hitchcock was good at picking out the hot bitches.

IS: Alfred Hitchcock was a hot bitch.

Then I realize discussing the hotness of bitches is the only reason we are watching this anymore. They drag out the 100-year-old Boyle and BS steals my computer so he can IMDB some credits from this man that impress him. After reviewing his profile, he makes a lewd comment about how Boyle obtained his Oscar. Boyle is old and seems nice, so I won't repeat it.

It's only a matter of time, hon.

Penelope Cruz comes out and maybe she looks good, but BS and I can't get beyond the fact that she looks like Beautiful Frankie from Make Me a Supermodel.

The Oscar for Foreign Language Film goes to The Counterfeiters. They say this is the first win for "Austria", like winning an Academy Award in this category is like an Olympic medal. What if they just want to win it for themselves, Oscars? People have the right to be selfish. Stop trying to push your oppressive patriotism platform onto others.

And then we get John Travolta and what the hoohay is going on with his hair, people?

IS: OMG. It looks sprayed on.

BS: Holy shit. He looks like Curious George.

This man should inspire all men to stop using hair growth products. THEY DON'T WORK.

And he indeed looks like a giant, ugly Curious George and in fact, I will never see this man the same way again. He is presenting best song and despite the fact that Enchanted had three songs in this category it loses to the Once kids. And these kids are straight up adorable.

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Posted in Awards Shows by InternetSensation at 4:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Snarky on Feb 27, 2008 08:11 PM.