by ChickBomb and Lushy
So dolls, who loves award shows? Well, me neither! Long and boring are the two words that come to mind. So for this year's Emmys, I went on a mission to make watching the show a tres fab experience. I corralled a group of my girls to cocktail, watch the show and say witty and clever things that I could write down and share with the Gasmii. The cocktailing went great. The watching went off without a hitch (well, with the exception of the unusually large amount of technical difficulty on the telecast, but that's not our fault). Witty and clever? Perhaps. Bitchy and drunk? Most definitely.
You have a cavity.
The ChickBomb event starts a bit early, at 3:30 pm actually, when Lushy Lusherton inexplicably turns up about four hours early. But, she's brought several bottles of champagne with her, so whatevs. Lushy doesn't really watch TV, but loves a good party and can always be counted upon to bring the good champagne because she has a very rich husband. We bust one bottle open to celebrate...well, nothing. We just wanted to drink some. Then we turn on E! Entertainment Television to check out what people are wearing.
ChickBomb: Felicity Huffman looks amazing. Jewel tones are in for fall.
Lushy: Don't you have a pair of pink Prada shoes in that exact color?
CB: (dreamily) Pink and Prada...two of my favorite words. Julia Louis Dreyfus looks good. She looks like she works out a lot.
(Julia Louise mentions that her trick to looking skinny is that she doesn't eat anything good. CB and Lushy look at each other and shrug in agreement.)
Lushy: (lighting up and stabbing her cigarette pointedly) Smoking helps, too.
CB: Steve Carrell is awesome. He looks good. Cute wife. Why did Giuliana change her last name? DePandi sounds so much better than Rancic.
Lushy: Rancic? Awful.
CB: He won the first Apprentice.
Lushy: I would not advertise that I had that guy's last name.
CB: Jim from The Office is hot.
Lushy: He is hot.
CB: Minnie Driver looks good. Love the color.
Lushy: Doesn't she do film?
CB: Actually, yeah, what the hell is she doing there? (A quick Google reveals a FX show that I do recall watching for five minutes before flipping channels.)
Who knew?
Lushy & CB: Johnny Drama!
CB: Johnny Drama's such a cult hero. You don't even watch TV, and you love him.
Lushy: Who doesn't love him?
Kevin Dillon (from the TV): Johnny Drama's my hero. He saved me.
CB: See?
Lushy: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Saggy boobs, that dress has way too much going on, and the earrings don't work at all.
(It's Marcia Cross, of Desperate Housewives)
CB: Good points, but I see where she was going with it. It doesn't come together quite right, but it's not awful. Those earrings are amazing, but totally wrong with the hair.
Lushy: (Withering look)
CB: You need a refill.
Everything needs to look up a bit.
(Vanessa Williams appears in sea-foam feathers. Lushy gulps champagne in attempt at recovery from Marcia Cross. This could push her over the edge.)
Lushy: (Loooonnnng pause. Stares intently at the TV. Then, finally) I like it.
CB: I like it too! Very couture. Gorgeous color.
Vanessa Williams (from the TV): My beauty secret? Great hair and makeup people.
CB: Amen to that.
Lushy: What the fuck is that?
(It's Pam from The Office. It's bad, very, very bad.)
CB: It looks like wallpaper. And it has a big bow. In the front. Why? And more importantly, why?
Lushy: Did she just call it an "UM-pire waist"? EM-pire waist, bitch.
So, how's that bus and truck tour of Spamalot going?
« Recap: Hot Cows and the Virgins Who Love 'Em | | TVgasm Fall Lineup »
Comments (5)
you dont know who jerry o'connell is? Sliders was one of the best shows ever on television.
1 of 5 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on September 18, 2007 6:40 AM
forget sliders....what about MY SECRET IDENTITY? anyone? anyone?
2 of 5 | Posted by madeyoulaugh | Posted on September 18, 2007 8:02 AM
I like your re-cap Chick Bomb, but you failed to mention the look on Seal's face when they showed footage of Heidi talking about bras to some E! intern, and when another intern approached her wearing a bra. It seemed like he was making a concentrated effort not to have a complete breakdown. I loved Julia Louis Dreyfus dress. Looking forward to the rest :)
3 of 5 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on September 18, 2007 8:54 AM
Hope the next recap is a bit better... having one person who doesn't watch tv and another that must not watch much and/or read the tabs... kinda annoying really. I come to you guys for the scoop and when I know more than the recappers it scares me.
4 of 5 | Posted by rayne888 | Posted on September 18, 2007 9:32 AM
It's so difficult to post a comment now...
I remember MY SECRET IDENTITY!! Rebecca and Jerry must've bonded over playing silly superheroes. :)
I read this recap just to get ChickBomb's take on Seal's crazy look at Heidi's flirting. And no mention. :(
This just goes to show you can't trust drunks with details.
5 of 5 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on September 18, 2007 6:18 PM