Recap: The Golden Globes: You Do Not Know How Much Blogging The Globes Does To My Confidence! - 
by B-Side
Hollywood celebrated itself last night as the 64th annual Golden Globe Awards rolled into town. Actually, it was more like Hollywood celebrated Britain as every other winner seemed to come from across the pond. Whether it was Hugh Laurie or Jeffrey Irons or Helen Mirren or Helen Mirren again, everyone was a Brit. Plus, we learned something very important. Contrary to popular belief, not all British people can whip out a hilarious, witty, extemporaneously biting speech. I'm looking at you, Mirren (and the guy who's the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press). But enough babbling. Time to relive all the high points (Sacha Baron Cohen) and low points (Maria Menounos) of the evening.
8:21 PM
Well, we started watching a little late, but that's okay. It just means we get to fast forward over all the commercials. First thing I notice as the awards start -- a Deep House Dish-worthy techno opener that will surely be repurposed for every single gay pride parade this year. Later, I discover that this "One Night Only" song actually comes from Dreamgirls. Again, a future gay pride hit.
8:21 PM
It's only been one minute, but I feel like I've heard "One night only! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!" a trillion times already. I don't know who's singing, but I'll take a guess: Mandisa.
8:22 PM
The Mandisa-esque house music ushers George Clooney onto the stage. Is this really going to be the theme music of the night?
8:22 PM
First category: Best supporting actress in a motion picture. Nothing to interesting here. Nominee Emily Blunt looks completely different than she did in Devil Wears Prada, probably thanks to those new veneers. Nevertheless, Jennifer Hudson easily wins this category, much to Cate Blanchette's dismay. In no time, J-Hud is she's crying, and she delivers the line of the night: "You do not know how much this does for my confidence." The audience laughs -- except for Beyoncé who shoots an icy smile to the camera. After a touching comment about finally feeling like part of a community, Jennifer Hudson goes generic and begins thanking everyone in Hollywood. Okay, Effie. Time to wrap it up. Like the song says, it's one night only; so shut up and let other people win.
8:25 PM
Here's J-Timbo. Unlike for George Clooney, there's no Mandisa music. Instead, we're back to the classic jazzy Globes theme. Justin is presenting Best Original Song, and based on the snippets we hear, it appears as though the state of movie music is at an all time low. The Baby Boomer friendly selection includes a bland piece by Seal, a bland piece from Dreamgirls. A bland piece from Bryan Adams. A bland piece from Prince. And a slightly less bland piece from Sheryl Crowe. Wonderful. Where's Three 6 Mafia when you need them.
8:27 PM
Prince wins the Golden Globe, but he isn't there to accept. Justin looks lost and stares into the audience for what feels like an eternity. SAY SOMETHING. Finally, Justin humorously accepts on behalf of Prince, crouching down to emphasize the Purple one's diminutive stature. It's pretty funny and fairly bold, especially considering that J-Timbo is not the paradigm of height himself. (He's tiny in person.)
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