Dear Crabby,
The Baby Borrowers is over. Where can I get my fix?
-Couch Ass Groove

Dear Couch,
Probably the nearest high school. However, why not consider the awkwardly edited Lessons Learned: The Baby Borrowers? Let's agree to disagree like the boneheads on this show, except for the ones who are wrong, which is everyone except you and me.
-Crabby

Hey kids! Back for one last poke at the dead horse. Although The Baby Borrowers officially ended last week with everyone separated, broken up, crying, and one death (Reggie, the wife of an older participant), NBC wanted to have a quick re-cap of their own, without providing video for me to pull screen shot. Batards! It's sort of a re-grouping after a day-long field trip that deep down no one wanted, but will remember fondly as they get older.

Hosting this show is Hoda Kotb, who I enjoy on those early Saturday editions of some health show she hosts. I normally see it when I'm up too early running errands and the only thing listed on my TV is PAID PROGRAMMING or The Farm Report, which, really? Is that still on? She provides a calming voice during a time on Saturday when no one, I mean no one, should be up. Even the dogs are like, "I know we sleep 20 hours a day, but what the hell?" She's on a stage that I believe is the old Tonight Show with Johnny Carson set...nice curtains, NBC.

Didn't want to spend money for a new set...just use Johnny's!
He's dead, so he can't complain!

Ed, are you drunk again, or has the lighting guy gone nuts?"

Posted by DearCrabby at 7:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Dear Crabby,
How many boxes of tissues will it take to get through this final episode of The Baby Borrowers?
-Couch Ass Groove

Dear Couch,
A lot, but if you tell anyone I admitted to that, I will cut you!
-Crabby

Well kids, we've come to the end of this season of The Baby Borrowers, except, of course, for the "town hall meeting" set for next week. Just like Bush administration, but with less lying! What a ride it has been. We've seen the teens with icky babies, urinating toddlers, evil pre-teens, douchey teens, and now they face the worst enemy of all, social security-sucking elderly! Take it while you can, folks, while the rest of us save for our futures with credit card debt! Wee!

Day 16, and the teens are preparing for their final experiment: The Elderly. Dun-dun-dunnn!

Watch out, kids, Soylent Green is people!

You know, this was actually a pretty emotional episode of Baby Borrowers and I wasn't sure how I was going to make fun of such sentimental retirees. I may have found my groove by focusing on resentment. YAY! Let's see how the teens handle it (please let there be someone on oxygen, please let there be someone on oxygen!). Also in this episode? The teens reflect on their time here and we get to see who is still dating (***SPOILER ALERT*** Everyone's currently available and some of the guys may have Ethan Hawked the nannies! I have no proof, but rumor is good enough).

Posted by DearCrabby at 5:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Dear Crabby,

Dear Couch,
Yes, and enjoy hell. I will save you a seat! But no worries, it's a dry heat, like Phoenix. Also, I hope you taped the last episode of Baby Borrowers, you're going to get your fill of broken hearts! Score!
Crabby

Kids, I have to admit, I was sort of dreading this episode of Baby Borrowers. Let's be honest, no one likes teens, particularly teens themselves, if my youth was any indication. Teens watching teens has the opportunity to either be a total party hour or just a living hell, and I wasn't sure I really wanted to see it. It's sort of like watching one of those suspense movies that you know will work out in the end, but the middle is really, really uncomfortable for that guy who's wife found some other woman's panties in his suit pocket even though he really didn't do it, you know?

Teens in their natural state, comatose

Having said that, this episode was exceptionally satisfying if for no other reason than a teen parent gets to tell a real parent off on national TV. It was sweet.

Posted by DearCrabby at 3:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Dear Crabby,
Can you settle a bet I have with my friend? I think the being stung to death by killer bees and wasps is worse than a pre-teen sleepover, but he says bamboo under the fingernails while having his nuts hooked up to a car battery that ignites every so often would be worse. Who's right? A box of Cheez-Its is riding on this.
-Couch Ass Groove

Dear Couch,
Send the Cheez-Its to Crabby because you are both wrong. The only thing worse than a pre-teen sleepover is hearing the mother hosting said sleepover discuss it ad nauseam at a work function you cannot escape. At least the sleepover has popcorn.
-Crabby

Posted by DearCrabby at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Dear Crabby,
Where can I see toddlers terrorizing teens?
-Couch Ass Groove

Dear Groove,
Once again, Baby Borrowers has all of your answers...and noxious defecation to boot!

We do a quick recap of the previous Baby Borrowers and as my friend's two year old niece sums up nicely: Blah, blah, blah. Get to the terrorizing!

Posted by DearCrabby at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

We start Baby Borrowers this week with a recap of what happened previously, which can be summed up by calling the teen parents what they are: Dumb and Dumber. However, they do show previews for next week, and it looks like naked + toddler = pee on the sofa. I can't wait for that treasured use of HDTV.

Do I call Coit or Orkin? Hard to decide. Burn the cushion, though.

Posted by DearCrabby at 1:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Dear Crabby,
It's summertime. Where can I find my fix of obnoxious teens, fretful parents, and teething babies (followed by toddlers, pre-teens, teens, and finally the bain of every driver's existence, the elderly)?
-Couch Ass Groove

Dear Couch,
Check out Baby Borrowers on Wednesday nights, where all of that is rolled into one delicious hour!

Posted by DearCrabby at 12:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)