We start Baby Borrowers this week with a recap of what happened previously, which can be summed up by calling the teen parents what they are: Dumb and Dumber. However, they do show previews for next week, and it looks like naked + toddler = pee on the sofa. I can't wait for that treasured use of HDTV.
Do I call Coit or Orkin? Hard to decide. Burn the cushion, though.
We begin this evening - oh, excuse me, this morning, at 3:14am. See, I'm usually asleep just like the rest of the unencumbered single people so it's hard for me to imagine being up at this ungodly hour unless martinis are involved. Baby Karson is crying his little lungs out as babies are apt to do, and of course Alicea will be dammed if she's going to get the kid. Cory walks into Karson's room saying he doesn't know what time it is because he didn't look at the clock. Dude, it's the middle of the night, does it really matter if it's 3am or 4am? No. Your night is ruined either way. Alicea continues to sleep. Wonder which one of them is going to escape to work today?
Daton and Morgan are in bed and Morgan begs Daton not to go to work. Morgan, you do know we can see and hear you, right? Well, you did get sick days in the real world, but you may want to use them more judiciously than "just because."
Alicea and Cory are attempting to make Karson breakfast. They need to mix ΒΌ cup of cereal with "a liquid." As you can imagine, this kind of chemistry is way beyond what either can handle. Plus, Alicea is a mess. I mean, I know she just woke up and all, but damn, she certainly grimes up during the night. Cory says he knew Alicea would be no help with Karson, but "what can I do, you know?" Yes, I do know, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! Trust me, given how little Alicea likes to exert energy, she won't run after you. Alicea gets mad because she's too dumb to make baby cereal, and tells Cory, "Don't f#*&#^& bother me again." Done and done!
Back at Sean & Kelsey's abode of "This ain't fun anymore," Kelsey turns into a 10 year old who forgot to study for a test, and she's got a tummy ache. Call the Waahhhhbulance. Honey, if you are still faking tummy aches, get yourself to the nurse's office instead of the real world. It's much quieter. Sean is trying to leave for work but can't seem to escape which is too bad, because Kelsey looks worse than Alicea. You know, I once heard Julia Roberts say about younger women, "You can't out-kitten the kittens." You could in this neighborhood because all the kittens are feral!
Sean says "Kelsey decided to get sick," which is an interesting choice of words because clearly he knows she does this. "I can't leave a baby with a sick person." Yes, you can, you just put the baby on the sofa next to sickie, say "Man up, bitch," and walk out. Kelsey gets up, goes into the bathroom, and shuts the door. Mature. And Sean loses out on the $100 he was going to make for the day. Wasn't Kelsey the one who said raising babies wasn't hard? Too bad you can't see me do my "I told you so" dance, it's pretty dorky but the point does get made.
The crying is coming from inside the crib!
Back in the cul-de-sac de Huggies, Cory is trying to feed Karson while Karson's mom says, "There is no way I'm leaving him home with that girl today." No worries, Alicea's off to work today at the Bada Bing Club, so she'll only be with your husband, not your kid.
Cory says, "I don't know what I'm going to do all day." Really? Because I'm pretty sure you're stuck home watching a teething baby all the live long day. Alicea walks out. Great mom.
So long suckers, I'm off to work at Hooters
where I'm under qualified!"
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Comments (5)
Oh, my God . . . I thought about watching this show, but I think if I did, I'd be smashing my TV screen trying to reach through it and smack these teens around. I'll stick to the recaps. You say what I'm sure I'd be thinking, anyway, and it's much safer for everyone this way.
1 of 5 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on July 9, 2008 5:56 AM
Yet again, DearestCrabby, I am impressed at your ability to recap this show, much less to even watch it. I bow to you. *bow*
:)
2 of 5 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on July 9, 2008 11:16 AM
I wanted to strangle Alicea when I was watching this. She is a waste of a human being. I am sure this show does not get American Idol type ratings, but if I knew just 20 people saw me acting like that I would be mortified. My friend suggested that they send Alicea to Iraq. That would be perfect for her. Get her out of here!
3 of 5 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 10, 2008 1:14 PM
Do you ever see those women at the store and think to yourself, "Damn, when did you stop caring?"
Yes, now you know.
I've been that woman. I had all four of my kids within six years and I think I wore a ponytail for most of the 90s.
Does anyone besides me think that the parents of these babies are drinking bong water or something? I picture Michael Keaton's face on "Mr. Mom" when the punkrock teen shows up at the door all, "Dude. I'm the BABYsitter..." and he slams the door in her face.
4 of 5 | Posted by TheVoiceofReason | Posted on July 11, 2008 7:41 AM
I am afraid that due to lack of feedback there won't be anymore recaps of Baby Borrowers...and that would be a tragedy! So better late than never, I'm posting to say thanks for this recap and keep up the good work my Dear Crabby!!
5 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on July 14, 2008 9:59 AM