Back in the cul-de-sac du diaper bags, Karson is crying. I guess that isn't news, but God bless Cory for keeping it together, and I really mean that. (Actually, I have a healthy disrespect for organized religion, so I could have just as easily said, "Satan bless Cory," and I would have meant it just as much). Meanwhile, Morgan flipped out and put Miley in jail - no wait, that's a baby gate - and cannot seem to put a baby Bjorn on. A little more complex then a thong, huh, Morgan? Kelly is playing hide and seek with Zachary and his blanket. Man! Kids always fall for that, it's amazing.
"I can't do this," Kelsey whimpers. Good news Kelsey, Sean is doing all the work. You know how you can tell? Because you are a quivering bowl of Jello and you haven't done a damn thing! If you are just going to sit around, at least run up and get a shower. Do you ever see those women at the store and think to yourself, "Damn, when did you stop caring?" Now we know. The doorbell rings and Sean is like, "I'll just send them away." Doesn't work that way Sean. Etta's mom is coming to kick some whiney ass.
"Can I talk to Kelsey?"
"Ummm..." Sean says. There is no "Ummm" buddy, open the damn door for the baby's mother!
Kelsey sees Etta's mom and starts crying and reaches for a hug. She's not your mother! Then she really starts crying. "Let me talk to you," Etta's mom says.
I've completely fallen apart after 12 hours with your child
"I'm not coming to take Etta away," she says. Yeah, that's for DCFS to do when you have your own kids and you pull this crap. "I've been where you were and you sound like me when I was your age, and I'm still that way, I'm a perfectionist and I don't want to fail at anything." Folks, if you are a perfectionist, for the love of God, don't have kids. Have you seen them color? You'll kill yourself.
Who you gonna call for Kelsey? Not Ghostbusters!
Kelsey continues to hyperventilate and breakdown like she's the personification of the Glass Menagerie. She sobs out, "I'm-not-ready, I definitely want to wait a little more," and Etta's mom looks like "You got that right and thank God you figured it out now before you lost all of your potential like I did, oh, I hope my husband isn't watching!"
Back with Kelly and Austin, Kelly has totally found her groove with the whole mom thing. Probably because Zachary isn't teething. She is really good with her baby, very calm and nurturing. Oh, here it comes: Kelly's mom wasn't home when she was little, she was in a daycare from the time she was born and I'm guessing she's looking to make up for that. She feels more of a connection with Zachary in a day than she ever felt with her mom. No worries, her mom is probably working right now and isn't watching the show. Phew! All things considered, she does seem like a good mom. "The urge to have a kid has grown." Fine. Just get your degree first, that's all I'm suggesting.
Kelly and Cory decide to go to the park for "baby R&R." Then Kelly ruins the whole thing by asking if Karson "did a stinky." Yet another reason I can't have kids...no baby talk. I can do doggie baby talk, but those are completely different things. I think. Anyhoo, Karson has poo'd up a storm. Awesome! Let's go to the tape, which is blurred out to my relief. Cory is totally grossed out because he is, uh, human. But Kelly gives him a good walk-through on changing a diaper. She should consider writing a manual.
I wish I could blur out this memory like the censors
are blurring out this kid's doodle!
"Poopy diapers are like throw up, you know?" No, they're like poopy diapers. Trust me, it's the same amount of grossness. "The smell of it, the look of it, just makes me sick." See? They are the same thing. He uses like ten thousand wipes getting that kid's butt clean. "I can't believe he pooped." Yes, it is odd a baby would do that. "That's sick." No sicker than when you do it, Cory, just fewer baby wipes. I'm guessing.
Karson is having a major deja vu from when he was just a sperm.
Thanks awkwardly shaped slide!
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Comments (5)
Oh, my God . . . I thought about watching this show, but I think if I did, I'd be smashing my TV screen trying to reach through it and smack these teens around. I'll stick to the recaps. You say what I'm sure I'd be thinking, anyway, and it's much safer for everyone this way.
1 of 5 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on July 9, 2008 5:56 AM
Yet again, DearestCrabby, I am impressed at your ability to recap this show, much less to even watch it. I bow to you. *bow*
:)
2 of 5 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on July 9, 2008 11:16 AM
I wanted to strangle Alicea when I was watching this. She is a waste of a human being. I am sure this show does not get American Idol type ratings, but if I knew just 20 people saw me acting like that I would be mortified. My friend suggested that they send Alicea to Iraq. That would be perfect for her. Get her out of here!
3 of 5 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 10, 2008 1:14 PM
Do you ever see those women at the store and think to yourself, "Damn, when did you stop caring?"
Yes, now you know.
I've been that woman. I had all four of my kids within six years and I think I wore a ponytail for most of the 90s.
Does anyone besides me think that the parents of these babies are drinking bong water or something? I picture Michael Keaton's face on "Mr. Mom" when the punkrock teen shows up at the door all, "Dude. I'm the BABYsitter..." and he slams the door in her face.
4 of 5 | Posted by TheVoiceofReason | Posted on July 11, 2008 7:41 AM
I am afraid that due to lack of feedback there won't be anymore recaps of Baby Borrowers...and that would be a tragedy! So better late than never, I'm posting to say thanks for this recap and keep up the good work my Dear Crabby!!
5 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on July 14, 2008 9:59 AM