"Three hours." Morgan is pissed because that means she'll have to start watching the kid again.
Alicea's mom explains to her that they need to throw away the old diapers. Oh. My. God. When someone has to tell you to throw out USED diapers, you probably should wait to have kids.
"Whatever," she says. With her mothering skillzz and housekeeping acumen, Alicea is an amazing catch! She makes me think about switching teams just so I could live out my days with her sunshiny ways.
"You still want a baby now?" her mother asks Alicea while comforting Karson.
"Yeah, just my own," Alicea snots. Yes, because your baby will never teethe, poop, or cry. Or exist.
"Yeah, but you may not have a chill child," her mom says.
"So." What an ignorant, rude, awful person this girl is. Her mother did a horrible job, I don't care if she was single and struggling, teach your kids manners.
"America, beat yo children!" - Bernie Mac
"You may get a baby that's all colicky on you, like you were." I don't think that was the problem. "Your own grandmother called me and said 'Come get her' because you were just a pain in the biggest ass." Or the biggest pain in the ass, depends on how much back Grandma was sporting. She probably wanted Alicea out of her house when she saw the beginnings of horns and the 666 only previously seen on Damien's head. Also, throughout this whole conversation, Alicea has the weirdest nose rubbing/picking thing going on. If she eats it, I'm out of here.
"We get a sucky job and a kid that won't stop crying," Alicea says. Yes, that's what happens when you have a baby as a teenager. Alicea's mom tries to explain that you have to take sucky jobs to support your family if push comes to shove, and Cory acts like Alicea and says, "I wouldn't take it." Yes, you'd let your family starve. These kids are so stupid. Texas public schools, you owe their parents some money. Who the hell was governor when Alicea and Cory were attending school - oh, never mind. Give the $7.99 you clearly spent on educating these kids back to the parents and let's call it even.
"I had to have two jobs to support me and Alicea," she says. Or she just didn't want to be near Alicea, let's take that into consideration. "It's not that easy. You all think we shit money and that's not the way it goes." That would be so cool! I would be downing Ex-Lax like an anorexic. The coolest, most ironic part of this whole scene? Karson is fast asleep in Alicea's mother's arms. In your faces, brats! That kid is OUT.
Back at Kelsey and Sean's house, Kelsey says with some irritation, "Sean's a good mommy and daddy." Bitter much?
"Kelsey," Sean's mother says, "This surprised you." Which I'm sure just pissed Kelsey off more. "Not a bad thing," she quickly recovers.
"I had to change diapers three times today," Sean boasts to his mother. "Kelsey was working so I had to do everything." Ouch. He reiterates he doesn't want to do this soon and Kelsey agrees. "So you don't want kids anymore?"
"Shut up!" Kelsey says, but doesn't answer. Yeah, they'll be breaking up soon.
Back as Sasha and Jordan's house, Sasha's mother asks, "What do you think about taking care of a baby?"
"It's hard. You can't do it by yourself." Yes, because it takes a village. And a nanny. And two incomes. And an XBOX you cannot afford. Disposable income or disposable diapers, you make the choice. For me, the decision is as easy as sleeping in on Saturdays, having nice furniture, and affording expensive wrinkle creams so the hospice workers think I'm pretty as I die alone but rich.
This is me at 86.
Sasha's mother is proud of both Sasha and Jordan for their maturity and how well they are handling things. Trust me, these kids are going to become neurosurgeons and have kids in their own good time. Kids they will raise with good manners and strict curfews, and who will become neurosurgeons too. Alicea's kid? Juvenile delinquent whose mugshot she'll frame with pride as she pops a Marlboro.
"This is my first daughter and I just miss talking to her," Sasha's mom says, tearing up. Sasha's mom rules! This is a good mom right here my friends.
Morgan, on the other hand, has become an entire attitude-on-wheels with her mom. "Geez Morgan," Daton says, "I know you're mad but..."
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Comments (5)
Oh, my God . . . I thought about watching this show, but I think if I did, I'd be smashing my TV screen trying to reach through it and smack these teens around. I'll stick to the recaps. You say what I'm sure I'd be thinking, anyway, and it's much safer for everyone this way.
1 of 5 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on July 9, 2008 5:56 AM
Yet again, DearestCrabby, I am impressed at your ability to recap this show, much less to even watch it. I bow to you. *bow*
:)
2 of 5 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on July 9, 2008 11:16 AM
I wanted to strangle Alicea when I was watching this. She is a waste of a human being. I am sure this show does not get American Idol type ratings, but if I knew just 20 people saw me acting like that I would be mortified. My friend suggested that they send Alicea to Iraq. That would be perfect for her. Get her out of here!
3 of 5 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 10, 2008 1:14 PM
Do you ever see those women at the store and think to yourself, "Damn, when did you stop caring?"
Yes, now you know.
I've been that woman. I had all four of my kids within six years and I think I wore a ponytail for most of the 90s.
Does anyone besides me think that the parents of these babies are drinking bong water or something? I picture Michael Keaton's face on "Mr. Mom" when the punkrock teen shows up at the door all, "Dude. I'm the BABYsitter..." and he slams the door in her face.
4 of 5 | Posted by TheVoiceofReason | Posted on July 11, 2008 7:41 AM
I am afraid that due to lack of feedback there won't be anymore recaps of Baby Borrowers...and that would be a tragedy! So better late than never, I'm posting to say thanks for this recap and keep up the good work my Dear Crabby!!
5 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on July 14, 2008 9:59 AM