Testimonials

Horror of horrors, however, Cory gets a note in the mail telling him that there will be a slumber party at his and Alicea's house that night with ALL of the kids coming over. Hannah calls it, "The ultimate challenge." I call it a total nightmare to participate in, total fun to watch!

Sasha is at the park with Sara playing in the sand and swimming. "I feel like a mom!" she says, and she has the jeans to prove it. Yeah, because this kid is a good egg. If she were Hannah, you'd be packing up those ginormous jeans for real this time.

Mom jeans...Sexy!

Asshat is doing well with the boys because he does have a little more discipline power than Kelly. Probably because he's a traditional southerner, and they aren't against whipping their kids with switches that they make them pull out of the cotton fields. However, by the end of the day, he's frying up Hamburger Helper and waiting for Kelly to come home for some "adult talk." Geez, I hope he doesn't mean "dirty talk."

Oh, so get this. Cory and Abbey are outside playing, and that little brat Hannah locked them out of the house. I would totally whoop this kid's ass like there was no tomorrow. Then again, I'd probably just ask the inside camera guy to open the bloody door for me. Then I'd whoop some ass. Maybe it was the camera guy who did it?

Don't underestimate the power of the spank!

Once Cory gets in he puts her in a time out...in her room! She's got toys to play with, so how bad can it be? I would make her sit in a chair for the number of minutes that corresponds with her age (so if she's 8, 8 minutes). Also, I'd tell her that Santa Claus was dead because her bad behavior broke his heart, and when he fell over he landed on the Easter Bunny and killed him too, so she ruined Christmas and Passover and both the Christians and Jews hate her and her next time out will be in Guantanamo Bay for years and years.

Hannah yells that she's sorry and when Cory opens the door and says, "Do you really mean it?" and she says, "Yes," her face completely says, "I'm totally going to be bilking some old guy out of his money with this look." Then Cory says she needs to change her attitude, and real mom can't believe he's trying to reason with a seven-year old. Only because you are watching, real mom. Otherwise, spank city!

"GET OUT!" Hannah screams, while Cory taunts her with a popsicle, which is sort of a dick move. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM NOW! GET OUUUUUT!"

Stigmata...on her forehead. Or it's her mother's stiletto heel mark.
Your guess is as good as mine!

"You're evil!" Cory says, laughing. Then she kicks Cory. Damn! He should have kicked back. With a stiletto! After he closes the door, a note comes out from under the door that reads, "I'm sorry I locked you out." Hmmm. She lies. But he lets her out and gives her the blue popsicle which everyone knows is the worst. Blue has no flavor. But she shuts the hell up and doesn't give him any more trouble, does she now? Hope real mom learned something. Taunting kids with food does work! Hope Hannah doesn't grow up to binge and purge based on her emotions! But in reality, I don't care!

Alicea comes home to the total and complete nightmare of the entire neighborhood over at her house. "Calm down children!" She says half-heartedly. Whatever. She realizes they should just run out all of their energy and she lets them go. Hey, as long as they are all alive at the end of the night, she's golden.

Is that my youth? And freedom? And sex life?

Back over at Daton and Morgan's house, Morgan says she was a bad girlfriend the night before, so she cooked dinner to make up for it. What 18 year old knows how to cook a ham, or even wants to? I would have thought chicken tenders would have been more up her alley. Daton is having none of it, though, mostly because he's realized he has to dump Morgan if he ever wants to grow up. She wants him to know she is "contributing something to the relationship." That contribution? Pork product.

Traditional apology ham. Fancy!

Dinner conversation? Chirp chirp, chirp chirp. The doorbell rings. Please let it be the angel of death. No, it's Daton's best friend Brady, who immediately wants to go to the skate park sans Morgan. She's all sad and depressed as she cleans up the fat-ass ham.

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Posted in Baby Borrowers by DearCrabby at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: mandymax on Jul 24, 2008 05:40 AM.