Testimonials

Carly has come to see Kelsey, Stephan has come to see Jordan, Amber has come to see Kelly. Squeals all around, except for Asshat who is clearly pissed Amber is visiting, probably because of some three-way she declined at an Sigma Nu party last fall. Asshat throws a total and complete hissy fit about having to be home all day with the kids then having to spend the evening alone while Kelly goes out and plays with her girlfriends. Oh, because that's not the traditional southern family, it's a real one? WHAT AN ASS HAT.

Over at Alicea and Cory's house, Cory finally decides if you can't beat 'em, beat 'em with pillows in a pillow fight. He's totally into the party with the kids. Alicea interviews - and her wording is important here, kids, "Cory is going to be a great dad when he has kids someday." Not when "we" have kids, when "he" has kids someday. Uh-huh. Alicea has given up the limited dream of being a young mother, mark my words.

I'm 18...I should be doing this with Tri-Delts in La Perla,
not kids in Underoos...and now I feel very uncomfortable

Hannah bonked her head. Hey, no one said ultimate fighting was easy, brat. She's crying her eyes out (seriously, the drama), and Alicea gets her some ice and comforts her. It's actually pretty sweet to see Alicea human, and relieving to hear Hannah shut the eff up. Real mom likes the fact that her demon spawn is being comforted. Alicea interviews, "I'm sure I got a motherly spot somewhere inside me." Yes, it's close to your G-spot which immediately disappears with motherhood. Sorry suckas!

I told you, we have to bonk you on the head before feeding you to the snake!

Or maybe we're feeding you to...your mother!

Christian Slater has a new show coming on. He's aged like a ferret! Hope he doesn't compare notes with Molly Ringwald from the new show about teen pregnancy. They've become the parents they used to rebel against all those years ago. Man, it sucks when that happens, doesn't it?

Daton and his friend Brady are at the skate park because they are emotionally 12 year old punks, and Morgan is sad because she's at home taking the garbage out. She's upset because she wanted to have a "good quality conversation with Daton, but there's always something getting in the way," like her inability to form complete sentences or think beyond moussing her hair.

Brady asks if Daton is stressed, and they "Duuuude" back a forth a couple of times. Then the truth comes out...Daton says he's not sure he wants to be with a person who doesn't make him a good person. What? "I was thinking what she offers to me as a person, and it's not very much." Ouch. That'll hurt when she sees this footage, although I'm sure it was taped a while ago and she's probably close to getting over the fact he dumped her months ago. Still. Ouch. Music of sadness plays.

Kelly explains to Amber how uncomfortable and weird it is to live with Asshat, mostly because she has to see his doodle at random times and that is throwing off her cycle. She's also tossing around a container of what I thought was marbles but turned out to be gumdrops. Is she hiding those from Kelsey? Is everyone in on the fat patrol for that poor girl?

Yes, Kelsey, we SEE that you don't eat your veggies or fruit.
Very clearly.

They go back to the house and are looking for Asshat who pulls a complete Kelly by going into the bathroom and slamming the door. He is totally being an ass about this whole thing and doesn't want to join them for anything. He also doesn't want to be touched and he wants his privacy. He finally heads downstairs and acts like a douche there too. He looks like he's been crying, which is sort of funny. He says this has been a rollercoaster of emotions, up and down, up and down, and suddenly I realize Asshat is a woman. That is so non-traditional southern!

Why don't you understand all the feelings
I'm having now that I'm a woman?!?!

The visits end at 9pm and all the friends are flown back to central casting from whence they really came.

Cory and Alicea are settling down the kids (mostly because they exhausted the kids and/or put Benadryl in their juice boxes) for the night. Everyone goes to sleep on the living room floor and the next morning they shuttle them back to their fake parents.

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Posted in Baby Borrowers by DearCrabby at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: mandymax on Jul 24, 2008 05:40 AM.