Testimonials

The real parents show up and Seth's mom was not thrilled with Daton and Morgan. She has a few questions for them. "Did Seth ever brush his teeth?" No. "Did he ever take a bath?" No. "What time is his bedtime?" to which Daton answers 10:30 to Morgans, "uuuuuhhhhhhh." It was 10. TEN P.M. She says they bonded with Seth, but as a parent you can't be a friend, you have to set rules. Yeah, you also have to clean them more often than hamster cages, just FYI. Like how smelly was that kid after all that running around? Ick.

Uh, here's your kid back. Don't let him breathe on you.

Real mom tells Alicea she is proud of her for listening and really comforting Satan's spawn. Alicea says, "She's really the sweetest girl." You know, she's really not. She's a brat who needs some serious disciplining. I bet her teachers hate her guts and she'll probably end up getting expelled for beating up a boy. Real mom counters she'd never have 9 kids over for a slumber party. Well, it looks like we ALL learned something, didn't we?

Jordan receives "props" from Sara's dad about doing math with her. He says he's going to do that more often with her and that they couldn't believe the look on her face as she was learning stuff. Sasha is relieved her PMS is over this week so she can act like a human instead of a deranged wildebeest like last week. "Props" to the production intern who picked up the case of Midol and/or Xanax.

The Hanson clones' mother shows up and starts giving Kelsey a lecture about how she needs to eat healthier, how her kids are going to be obese and have serious behavioral problems. Uh, real mom? Your kids are the ones who are wearing fedoras and looking for soy products. Who's got the bigger problem? Also, you ain't the skinniest vegetarian, so you might want to either shut it or get a tummy tuck, m'kay? I mean, I'm all about eating healthy, especially for your kids, and Kelsey still hasn't dumped that 160+ of lousy boyfriend, but you could have addressed this issue a little better.

Mmmm...delicious soy product derivatives!

Kelsey is offended by the comments and says she'll make her kids eat fruits and vegetables, which I don't believe for a second. Picky eaters beget picky eaters, that's all there is too it. So if she's eating Sugar Pops for dinner, and you know she has before, so will the kids.

Kelly admits having the three boys made it hard to have alone time. So did the fact you spent all evening with your home girl instead of your home boy. Kelly asks how real mom knew real dad was for real. Uh-oh. Do we have some questioning going on? Here's hoping! Asshat looks beat, by the way. Good.

Crying really takes it out of me, no matter what this wife-beater says

Real mom talks about how long they've been together and gives this whole spiel about how trust is the most important thing in a relationship, which is bullshit because we all know the most important part of any relationship is the pre-nup followed by the acceptance of your dogs as ranking above your significant other; they were here first, you know. This is all followed by hot sex, control of the remote, where to spend holidays, backseat driving, trading FICO scores, how much pepper to use, love of anchovies, and then, only then...trust. Or taking the garbage out. I don't know for sure.

Here it comes...Kelly is questioning if Asshat is the one for her. I can answer that: NO. He's a tool and a half, and he will always think of you as less-than, and God help you if you have any daughters because their value will be diminished by his desire to 1 - be "traditional southern" and 2 - only have sons. She says she thinks he isn't the one for her but then other days she totally loves him. She says she's scared of breaking up with him which leads me to believe she's already made her decision, she just is too scared to be alone. Honey, loneliness and being alone are two completely different things!

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Posted in Baby Borrowers by DearCrabby at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: mandymax on Jul 24, 2008 05:40 AM.